第 253 期·中文精讀

邁克爾·馬利斯:新年特輯

Michael Malice: New Year’s Special

跨年夜閒聊時政與媒體話題,回顧一年輿論風波,兼談寫作計劃與個人近況。

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《白痴》裡,梅什金公爵說了一句話:美將拯救世界。陀思妥耶夫斯基寫下這句時,大概沒想過它會成為後世最容易被嘲笑的文學金句之一。索爾仁尼琴在1970年的諾貝爾獎演講裡承認,他大半輩子都覺得這話是廢話。世界上那麼多苦難,美救過誰?

邁克爾·馬利斯(Michael Malice)的回答很乾脆:這句話一點都不天真。

他用的方法挺樸素,把這句話拆開看它怎麼成立。你去看一張模特照片,那個人在照片裡是完美的。現實裡她當然有缺陷,她自己第一個承認。但那一刻的完美被捕捉下來了,它就真實地發生過。既然發生過一次,你就沒法說它永遠不會再發生。

美意味著希望。它向你證明,完美這件事可以在這顆星球上成為現實。(邁克爾·馬利斯)

這是整場對談的基調。萊克斯·弗裡德曼(Lex Fridman)和馬利斯在新年前夜坐下來,聊的是幾件更硬的東西:善良值不值得,希望有沒有依據,人能不能認出惡,以及一個以毒舌著稱的人為什麼在新年這天談溫柔。

真、善、美里,他選善

索爾仁尼琴那個演講有個精妙的轉折。他說,真、善、美是三棵樹的頂端,如果真和善這兩根筆直的樹幹被砍斷了,也許那根不可預測的、奇形怪狀的美,反而能穿過去,長到同一個地方,順便把三件事的活都幹了。

萊克斯問馬利斯:這三樣你選哪個?

馬利斯的回答有點出人意料。他覺得真被高估了。一個好故事不需要是真的,也能推動你、改變你。人有時候需要對自己撒點謊,才能往前走。至於美,壞人同樣懂得欣賞美,很多有魅力的人恰恰是壞人,美本身不挑主人。

他選善。善是三者裡成本最低的預設狀態。創造美需要技藝,表達真需要勇氣,善待他人幾乎不需要門檻。一隻狗跳進泳池把另一隻快淹死的狗救上來,這個畫面之所以動人,是因為它不需要任何解釋。

他把善拆成兩個詞:正直(integrity)和善意(kindness)。

這裡面藏著一個對成年世界的批評。很多人隨著年齡增長,慢慢接受了“有時候做點錯事也沒關係”這套說辭,尤其是在職場環境裡被反覆灌輸。馬利斯不買賬。他的觀察是,人其實知道什麼是對的,只是後來學會了對自己說謊。而一旦允許自己偶爾不善良,這個口子就越開越大。

反過來,善良一旦變成習慣,回報來得比健身快得多。健身要練幾個月才見效,善良幾乎是當場兌現。

救一條命,就是救了整個世界

馬利斯在直播裡提過一句話:如果你救了一條命,你就救了整個世界。

萊克斯拿保羅·法默(Paul Farmer)做例子。這位醫生在貧困地區行醫,救一個孩子可能要花掉幾十萬美元。他知道這件事沒法規模化,但他停不下來。醫生這個群體普遍如此,他們不關心政策層面的百萬人口統計,他們只關心眼前這一個人。

馬利斯說這句話比聽起來更深刻,因為它是反烏托邦推理的解藥。

當你開始相信你可以為很多人做好事,你的大腦就出問題了。你開始構思烏托邦,烏托邦給你一種道德上的亢奮,然後“為了煎蛋卷得先打碎幾個雞蛋”這種邏輯就順理成章地進來了。二十世紀所有的大災難,幾乎都從這個句式開始。

他的替代方案很樸素:聚焦一個人,或者聚焦一個地方。在奧斯汀或者布魯克林搞一個小專案,你能看到反饋,這個有效,那個無效,跑通了再複製到別處。自上而下的幫助至少是低效的,更壞的情況是它根本不知道自己在幹什麼。

還有一層是關係層面的。政府發食品券,和鄰居說一句“我幫你買菜,直到你緩過來”,這兩件事在受助者心裡完全不同。後者會讓人產生一種動力:這個人相信我能行,我自己都不信,那我得對得起他的相信。

萊克斯插了一段自己的經歷。他在MIT講課時緊張得要命,臺下學生大多面無表情。只有一位六七十歲的教授,每場都來,散場時不鹹不淡地點個頭說“你講得很好”。有一次他穿了西裝打了領帶,那位老先生說“你今天看起來很棒”。萊克斯強調這句話說得很正派,像一個長輩看著小孩被打扮好去上學。就這麼一句,記了很多年。

你認得出惡嗎

話題轉到傑弗裡·愛潑斯坦(Jeffrey Epstein)。

萊克斯的關注點和大多數人不同。他腦子裡想的,是成年男人在魅力型邪惡面前的軟弱。他自己當時就在MIT,愛潑斯坦也來過,他完全沒察覺。讓他不安的是,那麼多聰明人,沒有一個看穿這個人。

馬利斯接過這個話頭,把它變成一個自我測試:如果愛潑斯坦出現在我的生活裡,我認得出嗎?

你會在看到惡的時候認出惡嗎?哪怕它就坐在你對面。(邁克爾·馬利斯)

他講了一個自己真實經歷的例子。紐約九十年代有個叫Club Kids的夜店團體,成員打扮成天使、護士,通宵嗑藥。團體頭目邁克爾·阿里格(Michael Alig)後來殺了一個叫Angel的同伴,把屍體放進浴缸的冰裡,還照常開派對。分屍、裝盒、打車去河邊扔掉,計程車司機還幫了忙。之後他穿著死者的靴子在曼哈頓到處跟人說“我殺了Angel”,所有人都當他在開玩笑,因為他平時就是個愛惡作劇的人。

馬利斯在蘇豪區一家店裡看到一幅畫,署名Malice,是阿里格在獄中畫的。他媽媽買下來送給他當生日禮物。他開始和阿里格通訊,後來還去監獄探視過。

他的結論是:那是我第一次見到真正的反社會人格。

網上那些“你是不是反社會”的測試題完全是誤導。那種人真正的問題,跟“我被人冒犯時不難過”是兩回事。阿里格對他很友好,沒有任何威脅,但你就是能感覺到某個地方徹底不對。阿里格跟他講殺人的事,說自己不停地說,是因為內心愧疚,想被抓。馬利斯當場判斷:他描述的那種東西跟愧疚沒關係,他描述的是受不了頭頂懸著刀、等著被抓的那種焦慮。他根本不知道愧疚是什麼。

但阿里格社會地位很低。真正讓馬利斯警惕的是另一個機制:人是等級動物。當你身處一個高地位者的派對,所有人都在用一種你沒聽過的藥,你不會覺得是他們在越界,你會覺得是自己的標準出了問題。群體的規範會自動變成那個空間的規範。

這就是愛潑斯坦能運作的環境土壤。再加上他確實有魅力,能讓人在房間裡感覺良好,這件事就成立了。

他提到ABC的艾米·羅巴克(Amy Robach)那段沒關麥的錄音。她說他們手裡有全部名單,白金漢宮打過電話,因為要換取梅根·馬克爾的採訪,這條新聞被壓下來了。結果是,ABC沒有一個人承擔後果,唯一倒黴的是一個後來跳槽到CBS的人。馬利斯把這看成一條規律:精英階層會動用巨大的力量,確保黑暗中的事留在黑暗中。愛潑斯坦、阿桑奇、迦納案裡那個拍影片的人被抓進去,都是同一條線。

他還有一句更冷的觀察。美國人想象中的惡人,是拿回扣的、搞串通的政客。那不叫惡。真正的惡是那種你在自己家裡想一萬年也想不出來的墮落,而幹這些事的人從中獲得快感,因為那證明了“我們和普通人不一樣,規則不適用於我們”。

萊克斯在這裡給出了自己的版本:衝進派對掀桌子算不上勇氣,那更像表演。勇氣是在那個房間裡,所有人都做了某件事,你平靜地不做。不解釋,不鬧場,就是不做。

離開紐約,以及一座城市的犬儒

2021年對馬利斯最大的事,是搬離紐約,去了奧斯汀。這是他成年後第一次真正換城市。

他說自己都忘了擁有一張龐大社交網路是什麼感覺。紐約的那張網在德布拉西奧和疫情限制之後一點點散掉了。到了奧斯汀,他驚訝於這裡的信任密度。在紐約認識一個人,第一反應是打量:這是誰,我為什麼在跟他說話,他是不是個普通人(normie)。在奧斯汀幾乎沒有這個環節。這裡的人大多是各自家鄉的“逃難者”,有一種共同建設的默契。

他開始把朋友互相介紹,結果大家一見面就聊得火熱。這種連鎖反應在小城市裡格外明顯。

他也談到了紐約真正教會他的東西。那些巴黎二十年代、哈萊姆二十年代、紐約七十年代、舊金山六十年代末的場景,本質上都是五十個人擠在十個街區裡。不是達沃斯那種規模。一小撮非常獨特的人,在同一時間出現在同一個地方,然後整個世界的鐘擺被推動了。

他問:奧斯汀有沒有可能變成那樣的地方?他覺得有可能。歷史上那些文化場景從來沒有覆蓋整座城市,它們往往就是幾個街區、幾十個人的事。

至於紐約,他的憤怒很具體。他理解如果疫情需要付出代價,但2008年政府救了銀行,這次卻沒有給那些小生意任何安全網。他說自己作為無政府主義者都覺得不可思議。那些創造力、那些小生意被摧毀,而且沒有任何人表現出一絲悔意。

萊克斯的立場稍微溫和一些。他覺得紐約像巴黎,會有很長的低谷,但幾十年尺度上還會回來。巴黎已經不是馬蒂斯和畢加索的巴黎了,但它仍然是巴黎。

馬利斯不完全同意。他的標準是:一箇中心,是全世界的目光都聚在你身上的地方。六十年代中期的英國,披頭士、奇想樂隊,那是創新發生的地方。按這個標準,倫敦和巴黎都不是當年的它們了。

萊克斯提出一個轉折:也許二十一世紀地理中心的地位本身在瓦解。數字空間讓克利夫蘭也可能成為中心,只要有十個人,甚至三四個人的組合。

一本書和一次登頂

2021年5月,《無政府主義手冊》(The Anarchist Handbook)出版,當天大部分時間佔據亞馬遜非虛構類榜首。

馬利斯講這件事時帶著一種自嘲。他之前跟一位九次世界冠軍的UFC選手做書,還說過“我永遠不會像你擅長你的工作那樣擅長我的工作”。書登頂那天他想:好吧,我錯了。

但排名之外還有更讓他驕傲的東西。這本書把一批被歷史遺忘的人重新撈了出來。艾瑪·戈德曼(Emma Goldman)、亞歷山大·伯克曼(Alexander Berkman)、沃萊斯·瑟曼(Wallace Thurman)、坎迪·達林(Candy Darling),這些名字在今天幾乎沒人提。他在直播裡反覆講這些人,然後意識到:好像真的只有我在講。

我想把他們從歷史的垃圾桶裡撈出來,說這些人真的重要,真的值得被聽見。(邁克爾·馬利斯)

有聲書版本他做了一件聰明事。書裡23章,23個不同作者,他動用了自己的人脈,讓不同的人讀不同的章節,讓聲音本身成為這本書的結構。

他特別提到一章,作者查爾斯·羅伯特·普倫基特(Charles Robert Plunkett),文章叫《炸藥》,內容是鼓吹造炸彈、殺資本家。艾瑪·戈德曼當時正在巡迴演講,看到這篇稿子很不高興,覺得這會毀了整個運動的名聲。

馬利斯說,他要讓這一章聽起來有誘惑力。他告訴朗讀者,用電話性愛接線員那種語調去讀。

因為暴力確實有吸引力。你得讓人理解,為什麼一個被邊緣化的人會覺得這是個好主意。(邁克爾·馬利斯)

他說,處理恐怖主義和政治暴力時,最簡單的做法是說“這些人都是瘋子”。但大部分瘋子並不會真的去造炸彈。你要能進入那個邏輯,才能理解它為什麼能說服人。

萊克斯接了一句:暴力在人類歷史裡佔的分量那麼大,它必然有誘惑力。革命加暴力,一個真正在受苦的人,可能極難抵抗那種召喚。

《白色藥丸》:從加繆出發,走到別處

馬利斯正在寫的書叫《白色藥丸》(The White Pill),主題是希望。

他反覆強調一件事:這份樂觀來自歷史閱讀的結論,跟性格沒多大關係。很多人問他為什麼這麼有希望,他的回答是,看歷史,好事發生的機率並不低,壞事的失敗機率也不低。帝國很貴。大英帝國很貴,蘇聯很貴。地理上鋪得太開,維持秩序的成本會壓垮一切。獨裁者不是超級反派電影裡的角色,佔領世界也不是終點,佔領之後才是麻煩的開始。

這本書最初的構想完全不同。他本來想做一本“加繆版”的勵志書,對標瑞安·霍利迪(Ryan Holiday)

那種把斯多葛哲學包裝成生活建議的路子。他問過霍利迪能不能這麼幹,對方說可以。

然後他重讀了加繆,發現記憶騙了他。《西西弗斯神話》絕大部分是文學評論,談陀思妥耶夫斯基,談各種“荒誕”的化身。真正那篇同名長文在書末,六章左右,是好的,但能提煉的東西遠沒有他記憶裡那麼多。

他提到道格拉斯·默裡(Douglas Murray)也說過同樣的感受:回頭讀加繆,沒那麼多東西。

但加繆這個人他依然極度敬重。二戰期間抵抗納粹,那種咬著牙的憤怒,看到不公時幾乎無法抑制的激動,還有那句“人必須活著,活到流淚的程度”。加繆的立場是:生命本身沒有意義,這恰恰給了我們創造意義的空間。

這個起點最後變成了另一本書。2020年疫情開始,他動筆,想回答一個問題:面對這一切,你憑什麼樂觀。

寫作方法他講得很實在。第一稿是徹底的垃圾場,一堆引文、片段、雙倍行距,不講順序。讀到一本研究資料,就把關鍵段落抄進去。有些章節是他自己寫的敘事,比如麥金萊遇刺那段,那種可以直接進第二稿。

他給想寫作的人的建議是:每天定一個頁數,一頁或者兩頁,坐下來不寫完不許起來。寫得爛沒關係。300頁的垃圾稿,至少你有300頁可以修。邊寫邊改是最糟的方式,那等於一邊開車一邊倒車,心理上會把你擊垮。

如果腦子裡蹦出一句好句子,記在手機裡,回頭塞進稿子。

他還有一個叫“廢料”的檔案,刪掉的句子都存在那兒。早期的稿子裡有很多當代類比,比如寫到1901年突然提奧巴馬,這會讓讀者從過去被拽出來,所以全刪了。他的原則是讓讀者待在過去的當下。

衝浪者,而不是司機

聊到新年決心,馬利斯說了一句挺清醒的話。

我得學會當衝浪者,而不是司機。(邁克爾·馬利斯)

到了他這樣的階段,很多事靠運氣和浪潮。他只能站在板上順勢而為,試圖操控方向這件事早就輪不到他了。所以他對2022年的期待很樸素:把書寫完,把奧斯汀的社群繼續建起來。

他講了一個感恩節在朋友家的聚會作為例子。這個城市裡各種圈子正在重疊。他提到一個做超寫實蛋糕的姑娘剛搬來,切開來像在切一隻小狗那種。他還沒見過本人,只是網上聊過。

關於播客,他的態度有點老派。他說播客是短暫的,一期節目發出去就散了。書不一樣,書在架子上,有重量。他承認播客給他帶來了很多友誼,讓生活變好,但那種分量感和書沒法比。

他換電腦換得很晚。朋友幫他裝好之後他才有了像樣的攝像頭。他說自己是個囤積癖,寧願花錢買一張帕累託的簽名,也不願意換一臺21世紀的電腦。

身體上,他在增重。最重的時候164.5磅,目標是165。他有個朋友叫Jake,Instagram名叫Stronger,把S換成5,能做人體旗幟俯臥撐,身體平行地面橫著移動那種。他主要在家練自重,引體向上加俯臥撐。他自嘲說就差一盒牛奶了,那是《這個殺手不太冷》裡裡昂的配置。

他抱怨奧斯汀的金牌健身房裡只有一個深蹲架,而且幾乎沒人在裡面硬拉。萊克斯說他知道幾個很破的24小時健身房,有架,有碼,進去自己開燈。馬利斯說他就想這樣,不想跟人說話。然後補了一句:我戴著耳機在硬拉的時候,不需要有人過來拍我耳朵,告訴我動作不對。這事真發生過,他現在想起來還生氣。

國家離婚:一個2016年就被提出的話題

馬利斯是最早把“國家離婚”這個概念重新推回公共討論的人之一。2016年他給《觀察家》寫了篇文章,幾個月後傑西·凱利跟進,今年大衛·博伊德又寫了一篇。現在這個話題已經主流到《國家評論》這種建制派媒體必須寫文章回應的程度。

他的論證是:美國從建國起就至少有兩種文化,這兩種文化近年來越來越敵對,甚至連共同語言都在喪失,同一個詞在兩邊的意思完全不同。既然這樣,為什麼還要綁在一起?你過你的,我過我的,好聚好散,不帶惡意。

他列出了幾個反對意見,並逐條評估。

最蠢的那個是“這正是中國想要的”。他說這根本不是論據。我不會因為中國反對就去做相反的事。

強一些的版本是:離婚會讓美國整體變弱,兩邊都比原來弱。他承認短期內確實如此。過渡期會很痛,兩邊都會經歷一段“我們為什麼還在做這個”的混亂。但他不認為美國存在的首要意義是制衡中國。他補了一句:在座各位裡,對中國政府的瞭解之深、厭惡之切,恐怕沒幾個超過我。

他認為最強的反對意見是:這條線根本劃不乾淨。內戰是南北劃界,而現在的分歧是紐約市和紐約上州之間、芝加哥市區和伊利諾伊州南部之間。加州出了洛杉磯和薩克拉門託,很多地方跟肯塔基沒區別。所以你只是在複製問題。

他承認這是有力的論證。第二個有力論證是:世界上有很多小惡棍,沒有美國壓著,他們會更放肆。第三個是:分開之後,兩邊各自的壞東西可能會走向更極端,越發往惡的方向跑,這個擔憂他也覺得成立。

至於按什麼線分,他說自己其實不在意。他用了一個銷售類比:說服一個人買車,和討論買什麼配置,是兩件不同的事。如果大家已經在討論配置了,那他的活就幹完了。

他甚至不認為必須以意識形態劃界。捷克斯洛伐克解體、挪威和瑞典分開,都不是意識形態驅動的,是文化。他說真要分,可能分五塊比兩塊合理,新英格蘭有自己的一套,西海岸有自己的一套。

萊克斯問他:如果真分了,你留在哪兒?

他說百分百留德州,而且很可能去競選公職。他說這話時半開玩笑:我要當德克薩斯的首任總統。

朋友之間,不要用推特解決問題

萊克斯問了一個很直接的問題:薩姆·哈里斯(Sam Harris)那麼說喬·羅根,你不介意嗎?

馬利斯的回答分兩層。第一層是策略上的:就算羅根真的在傳播錯誤資訊,諷刺挖苦也不是說服人的方式。“他錯了,這是事實”或者“請去看這個,會更全面”,這都是合理的說法,“如果你看完羅根上一期節目導致腦損傷,這裡是解藥”這種話,效果是反的。

第二層是私人層面的。他說自己絕不會那樣對待朋友。

如果我和你有問題,我會給你打電話。(邁克爾·馬利斯)

他說這樣做在策略上也講不通,等於把對方逼到牆角。他提到佈雷特·溫斯坦有一次想發推批評他,先發訊息問“我可以發這個嗎”,他說可以。他覺得這裡面有一種基本的分寸:私下裡有同情心,公開場合也要有。

他不喜歡“文明”(civility)這個詞,覺得太表面。他更喜歡說“要散發愛”,哪怕表達方式很粗暴,底下得有尊重和溫度。他用俄語圈子的爭吵做類比:他們互相吼,但底下是有愛的。

萊克斯在這裡說了一段挺重要的話。他說自己和馬利斯在很多事上看法不同,他是對制度抱有希望的那種人,想從內部改良,先燒掉再重建這條路他不走。他預見未來某天馬利斯會在理念上公開批評他,他說他期待那一天。

馬利斯搖頭說不會。

萊克斯說,正因為此,羅根、哈里斯、溫斯坦三個人的關係破裂讓他難過。他們曾經是朋友,疫情期間友誼嚴重受損。他覺得這不該是必然的。

馬利斯說他一直這麼講:我不在乎你同不同意我,我在乎你怎麼對待我。反過來也一樣,推特上有人說“我是你這邊的”,他會想:我不認識你,你同意我還是反對我,在我這裡沒有價值。他很多朋友的政見他根本不知道,也不關心。大家一起看爛片、逛商店、瞎聊天,這些才重要。

他舉了克里斯·威廉姆森(Chris Williamson)的例子。兩人幾乎天天聊,直到最近對方做了個政治座標測試,他才知道對方是馬克思主義者。他說“哦,顯然”,然後就過了。

和權力對話,該問什麼

萊克斯問了一個很實用的問題:如果要採訪特朗普、拜登、福奇這類人,該怎麼問,才能問出點新東西,而不是為了流量。

馬利斯的建議很有意思。他說如果是特朗普,他想問的是:你發那些推的時候,臉上的表情是什麼樣的?是坐在馬桶上被自己逗笑了,還是一臉嚴肅?他的邏輯是,讓一個人談自己的情緒、談自己真正投入的東西,能拆掉一層牆。

他提到自己讓魯本去問特朗普這個問題,魯本沒問。

對拜登,他覺得更難,因為拜登是非常熟練的政客。他舉了一個影片:拜登在臺上請一位坐輪椅的先生站起來讓大家鼓掌,意識到問題後立刻說“那我們大家都站起來為他鼓掌”。這個反應速度說明他是真正的手藝人。

對福奇,馬利斯列了一串問題。

關於艾滋病時期:那也是一場大流行,但侷限於特定人群,最初基本上是被放棄的。你當時怎麼處理?你怕不怕自己被感染?

關於口罩,早期說不用戴,後來他們承認那個說法並不準確。馬利斯說這一條他會當面問清楚:你當時是不是在故意誤導?如果是,是不是有些時候為了某個更大的目的,欺騙是必要的?

這個問題很關鍵。公共衛生官員在危機中到底該扮演什麼角色,是資訊的提供者還是行為的管理者。如果是後者,坦誠就是第一個被犧牲掉的東西。

他還想當面問福奇一件事:名氣對你個人的改變,你自己察覺到了嗎?坐滿參議員指責你該坐牢的時候,你怎麼消化?你覺得泰德·克魯茲是認真的,還是在表演給票倉看?

然後萊克斯反手把這個問題扔回給了馬利斯本人:這話也適用於你。當你開始有名氣、有錢、有影響力,你有沒有意識到自己被改變了?

馬利斯愣了一下,說這問題值得想。他甚至順嘴問了一句:普京2020年還是2010年那個普京嗎?還是2000年那個普京嗎?

這就是整場對談裡最好的一處。他原本是在教萊克斯怎麼拷問權力,結果自己被同一個問題拷問了。

他還提到一個更硬的測試標準。如果福奇說不出口“我能理解一個理性的人為什麼選擇不打疫苗”,那就說明有問題。鋼人論證(steelman)是檢驗一個人是否還誠實的試紙。你能不能把對方最強的版本複述一遍,哪怕你不同意。

追問的藝術,以及為什麼不追問

萊克斯提起拉里·金的一次採訪。2008年競選期間,金問希拉里:為什麼那麼多人恨你?希拉里開始說“我採取了一些強硬立場”,金直接打斷:別人也採取過同樣的立場,為什麼他們不恨那些人,恨的是你?

馬利斯說這才叫好採訪。不讓她滑過去。

但他也提醒,有些觀眾永遠嫌你不夠狠。他們會希望你開始列舉希拉里的所有爭議事件,指望你在鏡頭前把她批倒。可希拉里應對這種場面幾十年了,她會說:這些我在過去都回應過,你要是想重新翻共和黨的老賬,可以自己去找資料。那場對話就廢了。

所以尺度在哪裡?馬利斯的判斷是:把問題遞到她面前,不讓她用套話滑過去,但別替觀眾完成審判。這兩件事之間有清晰的分界。

關於喬·羅根,馬利斯的態度很有意思。他說自己不會像萊克斯那樣準備三頁單倍行距的問題。羅根不那麼在乎,也不那麼焦慮文化影響力,他就是跟人聊天。這也是為什麼他能跟布萊爾·懷特聊十分鐘鯊魚怎麼繁殖,兩個人都不知道答案。

萊克斯承認他被這段氣到了。他坐在螢幕前想:你們要是不知道,為什麼要聊這個?

馬利斯笑著說:也許他把釣魚的釣了。你才是那個被釣上來的。

給二十幾歲的人:別問朋友,去問你想成為的人

馬利斯在Locals上有個社群,裡面有很多年輕人。他給出的第一條建議是元層面的:不要問你的朋友。

理由很直白。你這個年紀是個傻子,你的朋友也都是傻子,而且他們不想顯得自己像個傻子,所以他們會給你一些從電視裡撿來的話,自己也似懂非懂。

去找那些你想成為的人,問他們。(邁克爾·馬利斯)

聯絡不上怎麼辦?想辦法聯絡上。給他們一點激勵。他說你會驚訝於多少人在推特上願意回一個陌生人的基本人生問題,因為回答一次可以順便惠及一大群人。

還有一條更難的:你可能得接受你的父母沒那麼聰明,也未必是那麼好的人。這件事在二十幾歲很難消化。他補了一句:他們愛你,不代表他們理解你。這沒關係。

第二條建議是量化。去健身房,或者跑步,跳繩,隨便什麼,但要有一個每天能看見的數字在往好的方向走。

他解釋得很清楚:當你被抑鬱或者焦慮纏住的時候,你的大腦是最會說話的那個東西,它知道說什麼能把你擊垮。一個具體的數字是它沒法反駁的證據。

第三條是開放性。他說自己在這個維度上得分很高。去試你沒試過的東西,去一家你沒聽過的菜系的餐廳,讀一本很流行但你毫無興趣的書。有一個糟糕的體驗也沒關係,你學到了東西。

他特別強調讀書。他說自己對1892年那次選舉人票分裂一無所知,那就去找本書讀。對馬爾科姆·X幾乎不瞭解,那就去讀。你會驚訝於自己作為一個人的厚度增長得有多快。

有人問他寫日記有沒有用,他很不客氣地說幾乎沒有。理由是你大機率不會回頭翻。他覺得更有用的訓練是推特那種壓縮表達,把一段散亂的思緒壓進短句裡,逼自己想清楚。這是一種有用的腦力體操。

然後是那條他很看重的:不要跟別人比。“我朋友都結婚了,我也該有孩子了”,這種“該”是愚蠢的。他提到戒斷互助會里的一句話:別再對自己開槍了。那個“應該”就是槍。

他還講了一個有點可愛的習慣。他房子裡到處都是“快樂的護身符”。上羅根節目那次,他在襪子店買了一雙橙色帶黑櫻桃的襪子。從此每次穿那雙襪子,他就會想:哦,那是因為我上了羅根,那可是件大事。

家裡擺一些這樣的小東西,是很管用的精神燃料。(邁克爾·馬利斯)

被問到那條最重要的建議時,他毫不猶豫:學會設立邊界。

你身邊一定會有那種覺得自己對你的時間有所有權的人,會有那種批評你不是出於好意的人。你要能說出:這個話題我現在不想談。哪怕對方是父母,尤其是父母。你需要自己的空間,你對空間和時間有所有權。你也不欠任何人一個回覆。有人問你問題,你不欠他答案,尤其當對方不是出於善意。

還有一條他講得很溫柔:做一個對身邊的人有用的人。做一個別人見到你會高興的人。出了事,你是那個能被依靠的人。

他講了個細節。前幾天他身體不太舒服,他想著,要是真出了大事,他會打給布萊爾,她會照顧他。這個念頭讓他很安心。

“你比你以為的要年輕。”這是另一條。他說二十六歲的人很難相信,四十多歲比三十多歲好,但這是真的。所有說這是自我安慰的人,都還沒到那兒。

最後是萊克斯補的兩條。第一,年輕的時候要冒大風險,而且要冒很多次。輸了又怎樣,你睡在西裝裡,又不是睡在榻榻米上。第二,全力以赴。試試看那種力度不夠,得把心掏出來。這樣萬一輸了,它會疼,而疼是有用的。

第三是善良。萊克斯說他發現自己年輕時有個傾向:為了融入一個圈子,會比實際舒服的程度更刻薄一點。他後來學會了抵抗那種壓力。

馬利斯接了一段特別好的話。他說,如果你年輕時喜歡某個樂隊、某個作家、某個演員,而身邊有人翻白眼,那些人很危險。他舉了個自己的例子,說阿薇兒·拉維尼(Avril Lavigne)是他最喜歡的音樂人之一。

如果那些人想奪走讓你快樂的東西,說“你怎麼會喜歡這個”,那些人不是你的朋友。(邁克爾·馬利斯)

結婚、孩子,以及時間從手裡漏掉

萊克斯主動把這個話題挑開了。他說自己想要結婚,想要孩子。這念頭來自他自己,跟社會壓力無關。他有點怕錯過那種長期的愛,對一個人,對一個孩子。他說這幾乎讓他難過。

馬利斯說他想要婚姻,不想要孩子。

這件事他認真處理過。今年早些時候他有過一段關係,對方幾乎是完美的母親人選。他做了功課,坐下來問有孩子的朋友:給我講講壞處。好處他知道,他喜歡小孩。

他提到弗蘭克·弗萊明家四個孩子,最小的兒子有唐氏綜合徵,可愛得不行,叫溫徹斯特。他說自己跟小孩相處得很好,因為他很清楚地記得自己當小孩是什麼感覺,尤其是當一個早熟的小孩。他記得父母的朋友不理他時有多難受,所以他現在會特意去跟小孩說話,那些小孩特別感激。

他姐姐有兩個外甥,他非常喜歡。姐姐跟他講過類似的話:如果我有孩子,孩子就是我的第一優先順序,這根本不是問題。

他的結論很清醒,也不粉飾:他做的工作有價值,而且只有他在做。有孩子意味著生活方式的重大重構。他說自己現在自私到不願意做這個調整。而且還得遇到對的人,那是一個承諾。

他補了一句帶著舊派味道的話:既然她們都有點瘋,你得找一個你能應付那種瘋的。

萊克斯說他的顧慮不一樣。他不擔心孩子,他甚至覺得可以不要伴侶只要有孩子。他擔心的是伴侶這一側,怕遇到錯的人,怕那段關係會侵蝕他作為創作者的生產力、心理狀態,怕那種讓他能給別人帶來快樂的能力被消耗掉。

馬利斯反駁說這幾乎不可能發生在他身上,因為他的每一段關係都極其支援他。對方寧願花一個小時讓他去工作,也不願意用那個小時陪自己。他說他連隨便約會都不會找一個不相信他在做的事的人。

萊克斯說,那可能是因為你還沒經歷過那種長年累月的變化。而且他這邊的工作性質不同,他得下笨功夫,得花大量時間做重複的體力活,所以時間和注意力上的張力是真實的。

他問馬利斯:你是經常想這些,還是就享受生活,遇到什麼算什麼?

馬利斯的回答是:我受眷顧太久了,現在不太想了。就保持開放,奇蹟每天都在發生。

死亡、遺產,和一百五十盆多肉

萊克斯問他有沒有想過死亡。

馬利斯先是開玩笑,說他只擔心能帶走多少人,手提箱核彈什麼的,放在紐約比較有諷刺意味。然後他認真起來:他想到的是遺產,這也是為什麼書對他那麼重要。

他的原話是,書就是他的遺產。他希望被記住的方式是:他鼓勵了人們懷抱希望,他教會了人們如何自由。

他提到《達拉斯》這部劇,說那是有史以來最好的劇集,很多人把它跟《王朝》混為一談,以為只是部俗氣的八點檔。他說那其實非常莎士比亞,每個角色由不同的價值觀驅動,劇本和表演都是頂級的。

他講了一個不劇透的細節。有一季結尾,一個角色躺在醫院病床上彌留,全劇組都在病房裡。那個角色環視四周說:請你們彼此善待,做一家人。而其他人在衝他喊“你不許死”。他說你能看出來,演員是真的在哭,因為他們要失去從第一季就在一起的搭檔。那本來是個完美的劇終,但這是棵搖錢樹,所以他們接著擠奶。

然後他說了一段很像“邁克爾·馬利斯會說的話”的話,又不太像:

善意和溫柔這兩件事,很多人想讓你相信,你善良、你柔軟,是要付出代價的,而且是壞的代價。(邁克爾·馬利斯)

他說至少在他自己的生活裡,他要造一個空間:如果有人想友善、想友好、想善良,他不會因此覺得自己蠢或者難堪。他說我們這個時代的激勵結構是反過來的。你想刻薄、想冷笑,會有人鼓掌。你說一句“這個真好”,就會有人說:哦,舔狗。

這段是全場最不像他、又最像他的一段。一個以毒舌聞名的人,在新年前夜談的是給善意留一塊安全的地方。

萊克斯在這裡給了一個很準的總結:你其實一直在做這件事。你在教我懷抱希望,教我如何自由。

俄羅斯的新年,和那些被記住的東西

訪談快結束時,馬利斯拿出一堆禮物。有幾個盒子裡套著彈簧,一開啟就會彈出來嚇人。萊克斯被嚇了好幾次,每次都說“我恨你”,馬利斯就笑。

其中一個禮物是一個叫Scooter的變形機器人。馬利斯講了這個玩具的來歷:小時候他家窮,別人家有變形金剛,他家有GoBots。GoBots有四個主角,但貨架上永遠買不到電視裡那些。有一次他外公帶他去布魯克林凱撒灣的玩具反斗城,貨架剛上完貨,五乘五的格子,他得側著身子一個個翻。就在那兒,他找到了Scooter。

他說那種感覺,一個小孩在貨架上找到自己真正想要的東西,就是喜悅本身的象徵。

所以我把它送給你,這樣別人看到它的時候會想:別絕望。(邁克爾·馬利斯)

萊克斯說他會小心地拆。馬利斯說小孩從來不這麼拆東西,他們撕開,然後弄壞了,然後哭。

這一段引出了俄羅斯新年的記憶。萊克斯說,俄羅斯人不慶祝聖誕節,蘇聯時期聖誕節是非法的,也沒有感恩節,沒有那種全家團聚的大節日。新年是唯一一個。

他說小時候聖誕老人不是聖誕老人,是嚴寒老人(Ded Moroz),身邊跟著雪姑娘。小孩在12月31日晚上睡著,1月1日醒來,枕頭底下有一個禮物。他說這件事發生過一次,就徹底把他震住了:我睡著了,然後我枕頭底下出現了東西。

那棟樓還在,布魯克林的舍伍德公園大道1461號。

他講小孩邏輯那段特別有意思。小孩資料很少,但他們在用邏輯解釋世界,有時候會得出完全錯誤的結論,而且理由是全然正確的。他小時候臥室挨著廚房,怕黑,父母就把廚房的燈留著。父母也教過他,不能開著燈,浪費電,要花錢。所以他躺在床上很焦慮:我爸媽把廚房燈開了一整晚,這要花多少錢。他沒想到自己睡著五分鐘後燈就被關了。

然後是那個夜晚本身。那是一年裡唯一一個小孩被允許熬到深夜的晚上。所以你坐在那兒,幾乎像愛麗絲掉進兔子洞,你第一次看見成人世界真正的樣子。有喝酒,有爭吵,也有唱歌,有哲理辯論,還有各種形式的調情,男人女人都打扮起來,把最好的東西拿出來顯擺。桌上擺滿傳統菜,奧利維耶沙拉,各種甜點,當然還有伏特加。

他說最難忘的東西很樸素,甚至是可口可樂。那是蘇聯,能喝到可樂、能喝到Dr Pepper是頂級幸福。他說這話時帶點自嘲:你會把資本主義社會創造出來的物質當成理所當然,可在那個年代,嚐到一種新的甜味就是全部快樂。

他還提到鄰居。新年那晚你會見到鄰居,會一起吐槽生活、吐槽政府、吐槽腐敗、吐槽世界的不公。

然後他說了一句很重的話:在美國,人們不太理解的是,在俄羅斯,一個安全的空間非常稀有。而1月1日那天,你知道沒人會去打小報告,沒人會當告密者。所以你可以真正地發洩。這是極權國家的人都懂的:你有一個對外的面孔,關起門來是另一個,然後所有東西都在門後湧出來。

他最近常去Clubhouse的俄語房間練俄語。他說那場面太美了。你可以把它當成一個非線性動力系統來看:任何一個積極的話題出現,你能感到一片懷疑,然後有人開始擾動它,直到找出某種方式說“得了吧,這是我聽過最蠢的話”,然後就進入辯論。

他說這可以從負面看,也可以從正面看:那是一種表達的自由。你可以情緒化,可以說難聽的真話,而且不需要為此自我表揚。

但那些房間也讓他意識到美國言論有多緊。哪怕是在美國最敢說話的人,也不停地在加限定詞、加分寸。而俄語房間裡的人張口就說瘋話,說完自己糾正自己,再自嘲,一分鐘後又換一個立場。那是混亂,但那也是美的。

兩人在這裡有一處分歧。馬利斯討厭俄羅斯式的犬儒,覺得它消耗人、反創造。萊克斯說他不這麼看,他看到的是水面上的波紋,底下的深水是美的。他也承認那種犬儒對很多人有實質性的傷害,一個父親如果在孩子面前對世界犬儒,孩子會跟著變得不敢冒險、不敢做大事。

馬利斯說,可他們會反駁你:對,這就是我們的角色,我們給你這個力,你的任務就是抵抗它。萊克斯笑說,這就像我已經要當作家了,你還得往上面撒一把火蟻。

然後兩人爭論了“人生是苦”這個說法。

萊克斯說他不同意。人生如果本質是苦,那幸福就不可能存在。苦裡生出幸福,這是另一回事。他說自己不同意“你必須受苦才能幸福”。努力是需要的,但那不等於受苦。

馬利斯說,他用這個詞的方式,更像物理學家用“重力”。過山車要能跑,需要重力,需要一個往下拽的力。同樣,你需要抵抗自然那股要把你毀掉的拉扯。

萊克斯說他理解,但他覺得很多時候人們說的“苦”,其實跟“荒誕”是同義的。荒誕是另一回事。荒誕是:好事沒有理由地發生,壞事也沒有理由地發生,這是那個古老的宗教問題,為什麼惡存在於世。

馬利斯提了《六詞回憶錄》那本書,讓各種人用六個字寫完自傳。他說他自己那句是:好事發生在壞人身上。

萊克斯說,這就是你的幽默,那是你處理苦難的方式。

馬利斯說他不認為人生本質是苦,如果是,我們就不可能有幸福。幸福是從苦裡生出來的,那是人生的起伏。

萊克斯最後說,他確實不同意“必須受苦才能幸福”,但他同意一件事:努力是需要的,那是另一件不同的事。

禮物最後被拆開了。有個卡片,上面寫著:給萊克斯,謝謝你為我搬到奧斯汀鋪了路。後面跟著一串二進位制數字。落款是邁克爾·馬利斯。

萊克斯舉著那張卡,說你把我弄哭了,兄弟。

馬利斯說,我的榮幸。

節目最後,萊克斯唸了一段加繆的話作為結尾:不要走在我前面,我可能不會跟隨。不要走在我後面,我可能不會領路。走在我旁邊,做我的朋友就好。

這場對談裡有國家離婚,有愛潑斯坦,有福奇,有俄羅斯的犬儒和紐約的衰敗,有死亡和遺產。但真正被記住的可能是那個玩具機器人。一個在布魯克林貨架前踮著腳翻找的小孩,找到了他想要的東西,幾十年後他把這個東西包起來,送給了一個朋友,說:別絕望。

美會不會拯救世界,這個問題大概沒有答案。可一個在貨架上找到自己想要的東西的孩子,在那個瞬間,確實被拯救了一回。這件事發生過一次,它就證明了自己可以發生。

  • 找一個你想成為的人,直接問他。別問同齡朋友,他們和你一樣在摸索,而且怕顯得無知。
  • 給自己設一個每天能看見的數字。跑步距離、引體向上次數、深蹲重量,隨便什麼。數字往上走的時候,腦子裡的自我否定會小一點。
  • 試一件你毫無興趣的事。一本書、一種菜系、一個陌生的話題。糟糕的體驗也算收穫。
  • 在家裡放一樣和某個具體成就繫結的物件。它不需要值錢,需要的是你每次看到它都能想起那件事。
  • 練習說“這個話題我現在不想談”。對父母也要練。你的時間和注意力不欠任何人。
  • 想清楚你是在幫一個具體的人,還是在幫一個抽象的人群。後者會讓你開始計算代價,前者不會。
  • 如果有人嘲笑你喜歡的東西,把那個人從“朋友”這個分類裡移出去。
  • 年輕時冒大風險,全力以赴,讓失敗真的疼一次。疼是有資訊量的。
文稿來自公開 Kaggle 資料集(rajneesh231/lex-fridman-podcast-transcript),為早期自動轉錄存檔,可能存在識別錯誤。
Уважаемые дамы и господа! The following is a conversation with Michael Malice, his fifth time on this, the Lex Friedman podcast. To support it, please check out our sponsors in the description. And now, here's my New Year's Eve 2021 conversation with the one and only, Mr. Michael Malice. Привет, товарищ! С Новым годом! С Новым годом! Dostoevsky wrote in The Idiot, my favorite of his books, through the main character, Prince Mishkin, that beauty will save the world. Красота спасет мир. These words, seemingly naive, and ultimately, at least to me, profound. What do they mean to you? Beauty will save the world. Naive? Really? I don't think they seem naive at all. Well, Solzhenitsyn actually, for his 1970 Nobel Prize speech, talked about this line a lot, and he thought, for most of his life, that was a silly line. It was just words thrown out there, because with all the suffering that's in the world, what has beauty actually ever done? Oh my God, I hate this so much. Talking trash about Solzhenitsyn. Yeah, I am. Okay. And this perfectly sets up this theme, you know, I said, let's do this episode, start the new year on a positive note, give people hope, give people joy. You and I both have friends who are models, right? And it's a silly profession, to some extent, of course. You are actually a model. You are my friend. Yeah, that's right. That's true. I am a model. I was trying to be subtle. But for those people who actually deserve to be models, when you look at someone who is a model, and in some of their photos, and these people look perfect, now in real life, they're not perfect, they have flaws, they'll be the first to admit it, so on and so forth. But when you look at beauty, it is almost impossible to maintain a sense of cynicism and hopelessness. Because if there's even one moment when some element of perfection has been actualized, if there's one moment where a beauty has been realized and captured, you can't say, well, it's never gonna happen again. So I think beauty, it means hope. I think I hate that cynical idea of like, I get, I appreciate Solzhenitsyn's broader point that a lot of times people, there's something called a deepity, where people throw words together to sound profound. And if you take it apart, like this is just complete gibberish, I don't think this is an example of that. I think beauty inspires. And more importantly, it proves to you, this is something that can actually happen on this Earth. Plato, right, the Platonic theory of forms, like this world is imperfect, but these perfect forms exist in another dimension. And that's where our concepts come from. He was an early person trying to figure out where our concepts come from, and epistemology, and so on and so forth. But that is something that is real in here. So I completely disagree with his analysis of that. And I don't know if it'll save the world, but it's certainly a prerequisite. And what's the point of fighting for your values if you don't want to make the world a more beautiful place? Well, it's also how you define beauty, because beauty could be just aesthetic, beauty could be art. Of course, art could encompass a lot more than just literature and paintings. It can encompass the full life, the full dance of life. But then beauty could be something just deeper, like whatever that awe you feel when you pause and hear the music, just hear and look up at the stars. For some reason, when I see rockets go up, for me, it's like science. What is that? The awe that we're able to accomplish that as humans. That's funny because there's lots of different schools of thought, like these people versus these people, and maybe vegans versus steakhouse people. I think in terms of the sciences, and I guess you and I would be on opposite sides here, you have the astronomy people versus the zoology people. The big question is, would you rather spend 10 minutes on the moon or would you rather spend 10 minutes in the deep sea? And for me, it's clearly the deep sea. The zoology that's down there, there's something I would encourage people to look up called Deepstaria, which is a jellyfish. And what's amazing when you watch these deep sea dives on YouTube is that the scientists, they're nature dorks like everybody else. They went into this field, and there's none of this maybe soldier nation style cynicism of when they see an amazing animal in its natural environment exhibiting these crazy behaviors, they lose it. They're on the mics like, oh my god. It's so exciting to watch. I'm not a rocket person, but I'm definitely a zoology person. So animals and plants and the sea. And also, it's so mathematical. There's so many forms. There's this plant called Areospermum titanopsoides. I don't know how to pronounce it because they're always in Latin. You never hear them pronounced. You said sperm. Areospermum, yeah, because it's a woolly seed is the genus. The leaf, it just always puts out one leaf, but the leaf is covered in little magnifying lenses to make it maximize the sunlight. So it looks like this little crystal seashell. It's tiny. It's like two centimeters, but it's just this amazing thing that grows out of the sands in South Africa. Just to defend Solzhenitsyn for a second. So if I may read a couple of his lines from the speech. So he said, one day, that's how he introduces it. One day, Dostoevsky threw out the enigmatic remark, beauty will save the world. What sort of a statement is that? For a long time, I considered it mere words. How could that be possible? When in bloodthirsty history did beauty ever save anyone from anything? And then later, he goes on to argue with himself in the speech as an older, wiser man now. But perhaps that ancient trinity of truth, goodness and beauty is not simply an empty, faded formula as we thought in the days of our self confident, materialistic youth. If the tops of these three trees converge as the scholars maintained, but the two blatant, two direct stems of truth and goodness are crushed, cut down, not allowed through, then perhaps the fantastic, unpredictable, unexpected stems of beauty will push through and soar to that very same place. And in so doing, will fulfill the work of all three. In that case, Dostoevsky's remark, beauty will save the world, was not a careless phrase, but a prophecy. Which of these three things are your favorites? Truth, goodness or beauty? What do you call truth and goodness? The blatant, two direct stems of truth and goodness versus the fantastic, unpredictable, unexpected stems of beauty, which is how I see your Twitter account. I don't think that, I think there's a certain dearth of beauty to be had in my Twitter account, that's for sure. It's certainly no goodness. Or truth. Yeah, yeah. It's Twitter, there's no truth to be found. I will answer the question, I will of course point out that having this kind of, you know, distinction between the three things is I think kind of synthetic. I think they very heavily overlap. If not, if I could probably make the argument they're synonymous. In fact, I do believe that they're largely synonymous. Goodness. That's such an interesting word, goodness. Which of those three is my favorite? I think truth is overrated in the sense that if something is a good story, the story doesn't have to be true or real in order to motivate you and move you. A lot of times, we can delude ourselves about somebody and that might actually serve a purpose to some extent. You know, if you have someone who's maybe a family member and you kind of ignore bad things that they do, there might be a reason for that. Of the three which is most important, I think I would say probably goodness. I would say of the three the most important is goodness because if you don't appreciate goodness, then beauty is just empty. It's just a picture or it's nice. Bad people appreciate beauty. You know, bad people are often, you know, seductive or have a beauty about them. And in terms of action, I think it takes a lot of skill and work to create beauty or to create truth or to express truth or express beauty. But I think goodness is like the easiest default state of being, just being good to others. Yeah, like, you know, like there'll be things where these videos where like one dog is drowning and like another dog jumps in and saves it from the pool. Like that to me is just really amazing stuff and is very moving. So just to me, goodness means integrity and it means kindness. And yeah, I think of the three, that's the one I pick. And I think people, sorry to interrupt, I think people also have this idea which is inculcated to them, especially by corporate America, that as you get older, it's okay to do the wrong thing sometimes, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't buy that. And so I think goodness gets rarer and rarer. And I think people know better and they tell themselves lies. Yeah. But once you get, allow yourself the chance to just be good, I think it makes for a better life. It's like it's not that much work. Like it's not like going to the gym or working out, that's a lot of work and it's great afterwards. But like goodness is easy once you get into the habit of it. I suppose working out is the same way. There's a lot of stuff. If you make it a habit, you're going to get the rewards of it and it's going to be easy. The rewards of goodness I think are more immediate than the rewards of working out. As opposed to the hard drugs. Yeah. If, you mentioned this quote on one of your live streams, I think, if you save one life, you save the world. Yeah. That's such a cool line. I think I remember reading about Paul Farmer. I think his name is, he's a doctor that really, I mean, doctors in general, they kind of don't care about like what they're doing as a broad policy across hundreds of thousands of millions of people. They just care about the human in front of them, which is so interesting. They don't care it's going to cost, like in his case to save one child, it will cost him hundreds of thousands of dollars. They don't care about that. They know very well that their actions cannot be scaled, but they can't help but help the child in front of them. And it's so interesting. That's such an interesting way to live. And that's the way I kind of think when I try to do something positive is, will this help one person? And I just kind of imagine a specific person, depending on the thing that that would help with, like when I'm trying to create something, whether it's a piece of hardware or a video or anything like that, or educational material, lecture, that kind of stuff. I don't know. What do you think about this quote? Like what is it profound or just poetic? I think it's more profound than it sounds at first. The example I think of is Michelle Bachmann. She was a former Congresswoman from Minnesota. She clearly had crazy eyes, something was going on with her husband. But she adopted like 20 kids. Terry Shappert is another friend of mine. He's like either Navy SEAL or Marines. Whatever it is, Terry, I apologize. I'm not trying to be funny. And he adopts elder dogs. So going back to Bachmann, it's like, yeah, you can say she's crazy. You can make fun of her politics all you want, and all that stuff's legitimate. But if you save a kid, give them a home, and you save them from the foster system, and you put a roof over their heads and make them feel loved and appreciated, it's really hard for me to sit here and call you like a totally bad person. I think that kind of thing is... Nick Cersei is another one. He adopted a kid. And I said, I think you're a hero. One of the things that's very hard for me in writing, as you know, I talk about this endlessly in this book, The White Pill, but writing about when people do hurtful things to children, it really is hard to watch. And it's hard to... Because when you're an author, you have to kind of empathize with the character. Where's this character coming from? Explain their point of view. And that's the one that's the hardest for me to wrap my head around. Cruelty to children. Yeah. And yeah, sadism to children. It's just like, this is something even animals know not to do. Do you know what I mean? Dogs, when you see them around kids, they're very protective. If the kid pokes their eyes out, the dog doesn't do anything. So it's like, if you can't even get to that level, what kind of person are you? So I think that quote is a profound one, and it's an important one. It also means we're not all called upon to be Superman. You only have very finite ability to move the needle. But at the same time, if you have actually saved the life, you can go to meet your maker. You did your part. You left the world a little bit better than you found it. And that's all you could ask anybody. Also, I think from a policy perspective, it seems we just do better when we focus on doing a small thing, helping one person. Because it feels like when you start talking about communism and all those kinds of things, when you start to believe you could do good by a lot of people, that's where your mind somehow stops being able to do good by a lot of people. That's when you start to think about utopias and somehow utopias goes to feeds power into the brain to where it deludes you completely. And then you start, it's okay to crack a few eggs to make an omelette kind of reasoning and you run into trouble. It seems like it's much better even when you have the power and the money and so on to achieve scale, to focus on one and then... Or locally, yeah. Locally, yeah. Because then also you have the feedback. Right. So if you have some kind of program in Austin or Brooklyn or something like that, and you can watch, oh, this is working, this isn't working, then you could port it out to other places. But top down helping is at the very least, it's going to be inefficient. And also I think it's a lot more useful when you're helping people when it's a one on one relationship because then it's less, I don't know, embarrassing, but certainly less something to receive help. And you also feel it's one thing if you get a check from the government, food stamps, it's nothing if someone's like, hey, I'm going to buy your groceries until you get back on your feet. You have this kind of motivation, I think for most people to be like, you know what? This person believed in me. I'm going to make it worth their while that they believed in me because I didn't believe in me. When I was giving lectures at MIT, there was one, it was scared shitless. And I mean, everybody, you know how students are and all that kind of stuff. They're kind of bored and they don't understand that you're human too. Yeah. Or this could be just me. They don't understand you're trying to pass as human. Yeah. But there's one gentleman in the audience and he went to all the lectures, all the gentlemen, he was a faculty at MIT. And he just, without very kind of nonchalant, just said, after the lectures, he would kind of nod at me and say, you did great. And before, like one time he said, in a non creepy way, I know this is going to come off as creepy. He said, you look great today. He said that in the way, so he's like 60, 70, whatever. I don't know. It's in a wise sage way, because I was wearing a suit and tie. I look like, when you dress up like a young kid, you dress them up for school. So he was just like, all right, you're all dressed up. You're looking great. You got this. I don't know. That has a lasting impact, that kind of pat on the back. But I agree with you. Cruelty towards other adults is somehow understandable, because it's a world full of conflict, but cruelty towards children doesn't, it doesn't quite, I can't understand it. I can't understand how you could act in a way that directly causes suffering to a child in front of you. I don't think I've ever talked to you, this might be a good time to ask you about this. What do you make, what lessons do you draw about human civilization from Jeffrey Epstein, from just laying out? Everybody thinks about different things. When you talk to Eric Weinstein, he thinks about intelligence and Jeffrey Epstein is a front for something else. That's what he thinks about. I think about the weakness of grown men in the face of charismatic evil, which is like, for me directly, is MIT. I didn't know. I actually was, I guess I was at MIT when Jeffrey Epstein was just at the very end. He must have been there. I didn't know any of this, but it really bothers me that nobody was able to see through this man because he's obviously, what is also obvious to me is that he was very charismatic. I try to think about human nature from this perspective is directly, like we said, help one life. Would I know a Jeffrey Epstein if he was in my life? Would I know evil when I saw evil? Even if it's sitting across from you. Exactly. The evil laugh. Thank you. It's a Necronomicon. I'm sure we'll talk about it. Maybe not. It doesn't really matter. We see things, you and I, Michael, very differently about a lot of things politically and so on. The reason I like you a lot, the reason I like the people I do in my life is there's a warmth, there's a kindness, there's a humanity underneath it all. I don't really care what you believe. I don't care what your Twitter says. It's easy to mistake your Twitter to indicate that there's not a deeply human love for humanity in there. And that's why I'm detecting that. I think I would be able to detect that Jeffrey Epstein. If you say detect, I'm just imagining the T1000 sketch. Yeah. Detected. Yes. I imagine, I hope I would be able to not detect that Epstein lacks that completely. Even if he's charismatic in the humor he has, even if he is charismatic in the expression of Could get back in the can. That actually stayed in there. That's magic. You just gotta cut the string. No. You're the most beautiful troll of all. I am. I love you so much. This is awesome. Did it not work? Pick it up. Oh, it didn't work. There's a terrifying springy feeling to this thing. I don't want to open this. I need to move something aside. I hate you so much. What? What? Oh, is it the other way? No, just pick it up. I can't believe I fell for that. I hate you so much. Wrenches are my favorite. I can't believe I fell for that. Okay. And there's box number three. It's like a matryoshka. I can't believe that worked. Yeah. I wanted the box to open all these gears to fall out, but you can't get any. You can't get them. Yeah. Does that really grind your... You know what grinding is? Why am I scared? Okay, there's another box. This leads to my death. No, no, this isn't, this is, there's a story behind it. I can't believe that worked. Oh God, that's so good. All right. All right, no springs, no weapons. No wrenches. Okay. So let me tell you the story behind that toy. Tonka robots that turn into vehicles. So when you, when I was a kid, you had transformers, but for us poor people, you had go bots. Right? So the go bots, there were four main characters for the good guys. It was leader one, small foot turbo and scooter. And what was annoying is when you had the action figures, you couldn't find the ones that were on the TV show. And I was a big go bots fan as a kid. And I went once to the Toys R Us in Caesars Bay in Brooklyn with my grandfather. My grandfather was always very lucky, like just good things happen to him every so often. And I went there. I remember very vividly, they must have just unpacked, just loaded the shelves and how they had the shelving, it would be like, like a grid, you know, you'd have like, it was like one, two, three, four, five, five rows and like, uh, five by five. And I remember it was like two up and then you have to do, you have to sit by the side and kind of sort through them. And with the go bots, each package had a picture of the different figures. So the packaging wasn't uniform and they just had scooter there. She was just sitting there. And I was like, holy crap, so that feeling when you're a kid and you find that just sitting on the shelf is just, it was such this, is this that scooter? No, I have it though, but that one is for you. I thought if you want to put it next to your other robots, open it up, I can open it up. Yeah, that's for you. And that way, uh, it's that symbol of joy when you have, when you're a kid, when you find something you really want, I think it just is really, it's a symbol of joy. I think it just is really like, so when people look at it, they'll be like, don't be hopeless. I'll open this carefully later. No, do it, do it. Should I do it now? Yeah. Okay. There's no way to open it carefully. Kids don't open stuff carefully. You rip that crap open. But then you break it and then you cry. That's what happens when you're a kid. I never did that. Okay. Me neither. I never cried. I never got presents either. That is so cool. All right, Scooter, you symbolize childlike discovery. Right? The poor man's robot. The poor man's transformers. I think there's instructions on the back how to transform her. To her? I only found out as an adult that it was supposed to be a girl. Yeah. Wow. This changes everything. Thank you, Mark. No, give me here. Let me show it. It looks better when she's transformed. What? No, there's levels to that statement. Oh, how does it do like this? Let me see if I remember how to do it because I had this as a kid. Arms out. The thing is, these are easy to break, I remember. Is it like this? No, oh, the front comes out. Oh, let me see this. Oh, this comes up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep. So that's that. The arms go. I'm having visions of like baby Michael. I can't do it. Okay, I can't do it. I can't figure it out. Wow, you're right. She looks so much better transformed. Oh, all right, I'm going to follow the instructions in a bit and I'll leave. Yeah, yeah. I'll leave this failed project of yours. Oh, there's a wheel out. Look, I don't like this in between form. Well, this is how it's going to be. Okay. Because we're going to be accepting of the transformation that takes time. Okay. I got, I saw this. Oh, it's this. A little thing when I was walking on Congress and it says resist. It's a bracelet. I mean, think of you. The reason I got it is because there's two bracelets. So one said lucky fuck and the other one said resist. Now, I first saw resist and I'm like, and then I saw the lucky fuck and I realized I'm a lucky fuck to find a relevant. It makes me think of you. This is very nice. Resist the powerful. Oh, that's true. I saw this somewhere. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This has to do with, in terms of resist, you often bring up the book Machiavellians by James Burnham. And so I was looking through, I was reading different parts. It's a tricky read. It's a little bit. But there is a ebook Kindle version now that I've been working through this. I think there's actually an audio book too, anyway. Yeah, I just bought some, the Machiavellians is James Burnham's analysis of four thinkers that he regards as the Machiavellians. It was Gaetano Moscow, Vilfredo Pareto, Georges Sorel, and I'm blanking on the Moscow Pareto, Sorel, and Georges Michel. And I just got Pareto's autograph in the mail this week. So he talks about freedom and liberty. This interesting line that I'd like to get your opinion on in terms of resist and in terms of liberty. There's no one force, he goes, quote, there's no one force, no group, and no class that is the preserver of liberty. Liberty is preserved by those who are against the existing chief power. Oppositions which do not express genuine social forces are as trivial in relation to entrenched power as the old court jesters. So, I mean, the question here is, can liberty, are you comfortable with that definition or that view of liberty, of freedom, that at its highest ideal is expressed through the resistance to the powerful as opposed to existing in its own? I think his point, broadly speaking, which I agree with, is the only thing that can work to mitigate power is other power. That talk is cheap and persuasion has very limited efficacy. It's like if there's a burglar, right, and one person will give you a speech about property rights and you shouldn't be in this person's house and the other person has a gun, it's clear which is going to be more persuasive. Yeah, but can't you just be free without the struggle, without this conflict? What I'm uncomfortable with this view is how closely it links freedom and conflict. Like, why does this world have to have conflict for you to be free? Can't, I mean, it's, and part of it is just emphasis. Well, you weren't just saying suffering is what leads to joy. See, and now you're in agreement. Thank you. That's, I just did that just so you can come around and agree. I win. Next topic. Wow, I'm playing 3D chess here. Okay. This is New Year's. This is now December 31st. I think that's how it works, but in 1973. Okay. We recorded this before you were born. Oh no, years after you were born. 60, you look great for 60s, early 60s or? Sure. Okay. What five things, let's say, or moments in 2021 are you grateful for? Or people, just, I don't know, things, moments, beautiful experiences, profound essences of the year. Like, looking back, what are the cool things that just? Personally or socially? Do you exist, like, in a platonic way socially? I mean, oh, in your personal life? Yeah. Anything. You're both, you're now Michael Malice. You exist as a social entity and a personal human being and all of it, the whole thing. Like, what stands out to you about 2021? The fact that for the first time in my life, other than college, I moved to a new city. That was a very big one. And there's no part of me that regrets it or misses New York. So that was a very big deal for me. What do you, about this move, about Austin itself, but maybe the move itself, maybe just the act of moving, what's great about it to you? The fact that I had forgotten what it's like to have a huge social network, which I had in New York before people started falling away and then it really escalated as a result of de Blasio and the COVID restrictions. So to have a big crew here is something that was very validating. The thing that's also exciting about Austin is that Austin is not a particularly big town. It's not a particularly great town. But everyone here, at least in the circles I travel in, is kind of a refugee from their towns. So there is this sense of camaraderie. There is the sense of we're building something together. Back in New York, when you meet someone, it would be like, who is this person? Why am I talking to them? Like, are they a normie? Are they going to be weird? And here there's very little of that. I think there's much more sense of trust with one another when you meet new people. So that's something that's really exciting about. I've been introducing all my friends to each other and everyone's been hitting it off like gangbusters. It's really great. So I really enjoy that about Austin. I'm enjoying the weather, the space. You read Kerouac and you know his stuff? I have. On the Road I read. I read a biography of him. I don't know if it was on, I think it was On the Road where he talked about that feeling when you go into some place, you're leaving a place and you go somewhere else and the place you're leaving disappears behind you. Yeah. And all the people and all, like you just think about that life and it's forever gone. And there's some inkling of that where you get to realize your almost mortality because, okay, that's a chapter and there's not many more. I know it's a beautiful chapter, but now on to the next chapter. Is there a melancholy feeling there? No, it's the opposite. I feel like I've been given a new lease on life because I didn't realize to what extent there was this subtext of hopelessness in New York and also people who in New York you don't appreciate or you appreciate it consciously, but you can't escape it emotionally how much the winters get to you psychologically. It's tough. It gets dark so early, it gets cold, you can't walk around. That's the thing that's fun about or what's fun about New York is that when the weather is warm, you can walk for an hour and just enjoy the sunshine and there's a lot to see and do. But in the winter, you don't have any of that. It's brutal. And here it's just, so that is something. There's no melancholy at all. Well, that's because there's, can we say something beautiful about New York? Not the way it is now, but the way it... I could go on for days about how great New York was. What did you learn about human civilization and just life that was beautiful from New York? I learned that there's a lot of really unique special people out there who are doing their little part to move the envelope and make the world a better place. And that when you have a city where they're all there together at the same time, then that really moves the world. And I'm thinking of Paris in the 20s and Harlem in the 20s and New York in the 70s and LA in the late 60s and San Francisco, especially in the late 60s, things like this. They really punch above Detroit, certainly at its heyday. They punch above their weight and just really kind of Philadelphia in 1700s. Things really start happening and that ripples throughout the world. You think Austin has a chance to be a Paris in some way? Yes, because again, it wasn't all of Paris. It was the left bank of Paris and Gertrude Stein and Hemingway and all them in a little area. So when you read these history books, these scenes, it's like 50 people in a ten block radius. These aren't these huge like Davos conventions. Okay, so the move, the big move. What else? What else stands out to you? Again, both personally and socially, like zooming in and zooming out. I did a book with a UFC fighter and I was making the point, he was a nine time world champion, that I would never be as good at my job as he was at his. And then when I dropped Anarchist Handbook in May and it was the top nonfiction book on Amazon for like most of the day, I was like, oh, I'm the top nonfiction writer in America just for today. I was like, oh, crap. Okay, so I guess I was wrong. That was a major deal. I was still shocked and delighted. By the way, congratulations and I'm truly happy for you, man. I'm so proud. But it's also, I'm proud because these are people who had points of view and they didn't have it easy and they fought for what they believed in. And insofar as I get to rescue them to some extent from the dustbin of history and say these people really mattered and they really are worth hearing. That I love. I love stuff like that. I was talking to a friend of mine, Topher, like a year ago, because we're in a weird position with what kind of jobs we have. So I'd be talking in my live streams about people like Candy Darling or Wallace Thurman and these are not household names at all. And then I'd be proud of myself that I'm the one who brings them to some sort of more prominence. And then you want to tell yourself, well, get over yourself who you think you are. But it's like, but no one else is talking about these people or very few. So to be able to kind of give them some kind of stature and platform that they deserve, I think is, I love being able to do that. So you have a strong voice yourself and to sort of join them in. It's like John Lennon joining in with the Beatles is like a chorus of very different views on anarchism. It's celebrating the individuals, it's celebrating the idea and you are, I think will be remembered as a powerful philosopher yourself, but like you're almost taking just the humility of being in a room with powerful minds together in one book. It's cool. Yeah. And that these people mattered and they had a unique perspective. And as I said in the introduction to the book, I remember I was in college and we were studying bioethics and there was like a graph in the book and one part says antinomianism, which was the view that, and one side said legalism, right? The two extremes. Legalism is what is legal is defined by the government or what is moral is defined by the government. And one said, antinomianism, which is nothing stands above moral law. And then there was like, well, since no one believes in this, the answer is something to the other side. It's like, well, why is it on the charge no one believes? If it has a name, someone believes in it. So anarchism is a word that's bandied about and in a dismissive way. And it's like, you don't have to like me or agree with what I'm saying, but you can't pretend that they weren't Tolstoy. You're going to tell me Tolstoy doesn't know what he's talking about completely. He's in there. He was an anarchist. So it was a big accomplishment. It was really cool to get a chance to do the audio book. You did an incredible thing, which has got a bunch of really cool people to read a lot of interesting, varied people. So what I did for the audio book, which I don't like the idea that hard work is inherently good because sometimes being lazy is actually the right choice. So I'm like, wait a minute. Why am I reading all 23 chapters when it's 23 different authors? Does it make sense? So I hit my Rolodex and I had different people read different chapters to make it sound literally like you have the different voices in the book. Thank you very much. You did my because I was going to read my chapter. Wait a minute. All the other authors are being read by somebody else. Let's have Lex read mine. The one chapter I am most moved by is Lauren Chen. She's a podcaster as well. She's expecting now. So we wish nothing but the best for Lauren and Liam and the Babby. There's a chapter there by this guy named Charles Robert Plunkett called Dynamite. And he's advocating for making bombs and killing people, killing the forces of capitalism. And Emma Goldman was publishing her essay while she was on lecture tour and she was just like, why is this in here? This is just really going to make us look bad, so on and so forth. And when you're dealing with any kind of, you know, HL Mencken has that quote about every rational man must at times be tempted to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. So I want it to sound like the seductive aspect of violence. Like that's the problem when you're dealing with terrorism, when you're dealing with political violence, to be able to understand how people can fall for this, how people can be persuaded to think this is a good idea that I'm going to make some dynamite and throw it into this crowd and kill police officers and innocent people possibly in service of by, you have to, it's easy to say, oh, they're all crazy, but they're not, you know, even not most people who are crazy don't do these things, you know? So to have a woman read that chapter and I told her kind of read it like a phone sex operator, because I wanted to have that siren song of like, so you can understand why this calls out to people who are in the rope, the people who are like marginalized. And she did such a superb job with that chapter. That's such a beautiful vision. Yeah, because violence, that's a violence part of human history to a degree that it must be seductive. It must be, there must be a strong pull. Like it's not insane people. There's something probably deep within our nature that craves violence. And then when there is charismatic leaders that inspire that and revolution, you know, and revolution plus violence, I could see that being extremely seductive to us. Like when you're truly suffering in your current situation, whatever it is, you're being oppressed by governments or being oppressed by the powerful, violent revolution is probably there's something deep within us that longs for that. And also this kind of the Jelaine Maxwell to Jeffrey Epstein, right? You need that woman to be like, no, no, this is okay, honey. Yeah. Come along. It's not a big deal. Don't listen to what your parents told you. They're just prudes. It's a siren song. What do you think about Jelaine Maxwell and the trial and so on? Again, maybe the interesting story there is about the coverage of the trial. So like the story is more complex and interesting than the actual horrific acts themselves. So to me, I don't, maybe I'm not knowledgeable enough, but to me, she's also truly evil. I don't know where to, maybe you can help me to figure out who is more evil. The, just like you said now, the person that says it's okay, it's okay, that helps the evildoer or is it the evildoer themselves? I don't know, but I think she's a, she scares me more than Jeffrey Epstein somehow. There's people like that in the world. I had a, like a Twitter poll. Do you think it's more evil or less evil to kill someone because you've been paid to do it? And people, the winning answer was more evil and I said it was less because I think in that case, you can kind of check out, you could be like, this isn't my, I'm just doing a job. I don't, you know, you kind of can, I think in a sense, if you have a certain mindset, if you have a certain mindset, like intellect to remove yourself from the situation, I'm just the conduit. When you were talking, I haven't been following her case that that much. It's because you mostly watch CNN and CNN's not covering it. Well, I think my broader point would be people who are untouchable and who know they're untouchable do much worse things than those of us who aren't that way can appreciate. Like I was just talking about on Twitter about Rosemary Kennedy. She was one of JFK's sisters. It's not clear whether she was developmentally disabled or had like depressive mental illness. There was something clearly off with her to some capacity. And at age 23, they gave her a lobotomy. And the thing with the lobotomy is you have to be conscious. They don't put you under. So you have to be counting backwards while their scalp was in your brain and they stopped. But they stopped. They did too far. She became mentally like a two year old, never had bladder control for the rest of her life, couldn't really talk or walk. And when that happened, they just put her away to some home and they never mentioned her again. They didn't tell the brothers or sisters where she went. The lobotomy was only revealed in 1987. And they pretended, oh, she's in this home for kids with special needs. And it's just like that to me is very, very scary that someone could do this to their... I saw people respond like, oh, that was cutting edge technology at the time, ha ha. But I'm like, I don't think that that was really done that frequently or be hearing more about it, all these botched lobotomies. And my understanding is lobotomies are very hard to... They would want to do it if someone's a mass murderer or if someone's really bad, if the person's left an invalid, who cares kind of situation. But when you're dealing with something like this, she's not killing people. She's not assaulting people. She's just difficult because she's making your vaunted family look bad. So that's, to you, that's, what is it, psychopathy or something like that? You don't care about, you do horrific things and you don't really care. I can't diagnose Joe Kennedy. But what I would say, like with Jelayne Maxwell, I can't empathize because I don't understand... First of all, even in a positive sense, I don't know what it's like to be grooming my son to be the president and lost the other son in war. I don't know what that's like. I don't know what it's like to be so wealthy. Like you have to give Joe Kennedy credit because a lot of what he was fighting for was to allow Irish people and Catholic people acceptance into like high society. And he was up against a lot of pressure with that. And he's like, I'm going to screw these people. I'm going to be recognized and we're going to make people recognized. So there's something to be said for that. But I mean, I can't relate to people like him. Yeah. But I mean, that like is just terrifying. Like, I mean, one of the big reasons I'm an anarchist is like when you have someone who has that sense of amount of power over somebody else, a lot of times they're going to do bad things and have no consequences. Do you think in a, just like Maxwell case and Epstein case, do you think they were trying to blackmail people? Like trying the, what the conspiracy theory is kind of described that's probably not too far away from reality. That they intentionally tried to put powerful people in compromising situations so that they can basically get more and more power. Yeah. I think that was a Vanity Fair piece that you're referring to or Fortune. Oh, sorry. I'm just referring to a general concept. Oh, there was, so there was an article that broke this down because this article is either Fortune, Businessweek, Vanity Fair, I don't remember a major, major reputable outlet. And they were, they made the, the reporter made the point, they asked around and they go, this guy's a billionaire or extremely wealthy at least. No one I know ever traded with him. Like, where's his money coming from? There's no, there's no paper trail. So they're like, okay, if it's not trading and trades are public often, you know, where's this money coming from? And it's also like, why are all these people allowing Epstein to be their business manager when he has no kind of track record to show for it? So the hypothesis was he would get people into uncompromising situations with underage girls, secretly film it, and then he would, you know, blackmail them accordingly. Well, I guess that's the question. That would make sense. I know it makes sense, but I also see a lot of evidence that he's just very charismatic in a room. So, so, and I've also seen, you know, that's how human connections get made, like business deals get made. Yeah, but how, how, where's his money coming from? Oh, like they are rich people without blackmailing. Just like him close, like him as a friend. I'm not arguing that. Like, okay, I like Jeff Epstein, make sure you pull that quote. Yes. I'm a business person. I like Jeff Epstein. Michael Malice. I love Jeff. Like or love? Love. I'm in love with this escalated quickly. I'm going to hand over him to be my money manager to have 20% of my estate fine. Yeah. Where is he making the money for that 20%? That's the thing that there's no paper trail. That's the thing that there's no paper trail, have him trading or anything. So I can understand. Oh, I see, see. Yeah. Interesting. What were your 2020 favorite moments? You mean 2021? Yeah, 2021. Time flies when you have it. Yeah, yeah. Clearly it's the Ghislaine Maxwell trial. It just really stands out to me. It's very moving. Which is why I bring it up. No. Moving here. So moving here. But for me, I think we actually didn't cover that with you. And I'd love to get your comment. Because you said it's for the first time in your life you moved. So it's not just about the place you go to. It's the actual act of moving is also a leap. Oh, yeah. The decision was that I'm going to give away my salary at MIT. So stop taking salary. Give away the group. So students, no more research, the grant funding. I still keep an MIT affiliation just because I have friends and colleagues there still doing research. But giving away really primarily is the source of money. So no salary. And let it go to zero. Let my bank account go to zero. And take a leap in San Francisco or elsewhere. And as COVID broke out, and a lot of people started talking to me about San Francisco, about the cynicism there. And I would go there. And there was a kind of, so it's not all the woke stuff and all that kind of things. Which is also a problem. It's less about dreaming about a big future, about building a big future, and more about some kind of identity politic battles that they're just, you could say some aspect in the positive light is important. But in a place like Silicon Valley, to me, the most important thing is to do big things. And for that to be most of the conversation. And so that cynicism was there. And then I went to look at Austin, and Austin was the opposite. It was the optimism. And you have people like, I talked to Elon, was the optimistic about making this the capital of artificial intelligence and technology and so on. And Mr. Joe Rogan, now just the optimism about making this the cultural capital of the world. I mean, specifically comedy, but it just radiates from them. Just the excitement. And I've seen not many people of that nature in my life. And when I see that in their eyes, that engine, that fire of wanting to create something special about the place. First of all, those people rarely fail. That's first of all. And second of all, that's contagious. It's contagious. Very contagious. And so all that combined, for me, 2021 was the actual leap of taking the leap, saying, all right, well, I'm actually going to do this, so not just giving away the salary, not giving away all of that, but the whole thing. That's it. You just move to a place. There's an empty building, and you're moving into it. And this is a new life. And that leap, I don't know. It's a scary leap to take, because I've taken that leap many times in my life. And this is where parents and all those kinds of cynicism is really destructive. Because from a cynical perspective, I worked at Google. So why leave Google? It's a very high paying salary that you can have at Google. Then MIT. Why leave MIT? It's MIT. This is you've always dreamed about. Why do you get a PhD? You've loved MIT all your life. Why leave MIT? I mean, this is the same process I've gone through with a lot of things in life. Like you've been saying every single stage. And you need that, you need friends, you need support groups and all those kinds of things that are extremely important. But in the end, it's about taking the leap. And for me, 2021 was this leap. And to me, one of the most beautiful things you can do in life is to take those leaps. And that's something that I think is no longer a thing in New York. There's no sense of hope. You don't go to New York now. There's been such an assault and intentionally or otherwise, maybe it's inevitable, they didn't have a choice. But there's been such an assault on creativity and small business in New York that very few people who are in New York right now think things are going to get great soon. Whereas here, I feel every day is just something exciting is going to happen. And that's part of the culture and how the conversation goes. It's just in vogue to be cynical in New York and San Francisco. I hope it changes because what I love about New York and what I love about Austin also is the weirdos, the characters, just the variety of personalities that if you just walk around, you get to meet them. And I think New York still has that, but it has the extra cynicism on top of it. That's a negative. I mean, just becoming friends with Joe, he inspired me to be nicer to people, to not take myself seriously, to be humble, to celebrate friends, not to be competitive. Like all those things, since I started listening to his podcast from the very beginning, it just radiated from the guy. The thing that people don't appreciate is Joe Rogan likes it when you bust his chops. Yeah. I mean, a lot of people at that level, like if it's, oh, Mr. Rogan, you're laughing at everything they say, they don't want that. It's very phony and they feel uncomfortable because they know everything they say is hilarious. I remember I went with him. He was doing a performance here and I was, yeah, you were there. And he was doing his set. And I'd reached the point now where I don't think of him as Joe Rogan. You know, it's just like my buddy's doing stand up. You forget. And then I looked at the audience and I remember I'm like, oh, this is like a religious experience for these people. But you forget who he is because he doesn't carry himself like a big shot. Yeah. And still, I mean, he gets competitive as fuck. Like I argue with him a lot. I mean, when I talked to Francis Collins and Pfizer CEO, you better believe I heard from Joe. And then we would just get super drunk and argue about it. So it's, I mean, it's beautiful. And he gets really passionate. So it's not like, it's not like easy to argue with him, but that's great when you don't take it personally. It's fun. As you and I discussed, and I'm sure he wouldn't mind us saying this, but like that moment when you first get a text from Joe Rogan and it's some boomer meme, like I finally felt like I've arrived as a person. A boomer meme? What kind of boomer meme are we talking about? Like some silly meme, but it's just like, this is the kind of thing you can imagine someone's uncle posting on Facebook. Yeah. It's Joe Rogan texting it to you. Yeah. I mean, for me also with Elon, obviously, there's a few people, I'm just saying folks that people know, also Jim Keller, who's worked with Elon. So I've had conversations with them, because it's just my line of work. They're realizing that everything is possible in this world. Yeah, yeah. Which is not the Russian mindset. Yeah. Well, okay. All right. That's, let's, uh. It's dialed down a notch. It's dialed down a notch. Yeah, it's what Elon calls first principles thinking, but really it's just not being limited by the constraints of the past. Yes. And so saying like, okay, this is how things have been done, but can be done much, much better. And that has to do with manufacture. Like, how do we do this 10 times cheaper? Like everyone says it's super expensive, but does it really need to be? This is more of a question about manufacture, about how to build a product, how to build a product. How to actually have a product that scale that has an impact. And just having a very serious engineering, like to the level of physics, discussion about building a thing and fucking doing it. And just being around people that did it and, you know, basically literally or figuratively said, fuck you to everybody in the room that said they can't do it. And that, that energy. So that I've gotten to know Elon a lot better in 2021. That to me, it's like everything, the whole thing, that moving here and being surrounded by the optimistic energy and then the individual interactions with people that refuse to be like brought down by the, yeah, the cynicism. The naysayers, yeah. The naysayers. That to me is what I'm going to remember this year for. And I hope it like materializes into something concrete here in Austin. And I feel it's doing that. I really am curious to be a fly on the wall. I'm sure it'll happen at some point, watching you and Elon talk to each other. I guess he's even more of a robot than you. He was on the Babylon Bee podcast and I was honored to be able to be in the room while this was happening. And with the guys at the BeeDoo, at the end of every podcast, they have like 10 questions. I don't think this is one of those. No, no. And they go to Elon, would you rather be Batman or Iron Man? Because they're both like multimillion industrialists. And Elon being Elon is like, well, let's think this through. There's different kinds of bats. You've got fruit bats and you've got insect bats. Why is it called Batman? Batman can actually fly, right? Bats can fly. And I'm just sitting there like, holy dude, just answer the question. I was like, what? It was so literal. I was like, damn. I guess by this point, the release of the podcast with him, that's several hours and it's exactly as you would imagine. It's exactly as you would imagine. There was this, did you watch the movie Her? Yes, of course. So there's that one scene, it's when, is it Joaquin Phoenix? Who's the lead character? Joaquin Phoenix. Yeah, so he's the lead and he falls in love with Siri basically, who's played by Scarlett Johansson. And there's another artificial AI that she's talking to and she's like, oh, can I permission to go into nonverbal communication with this professor and the guy's like, sure. And they just started talking to each other in their robot. And I'm just imagining the two of you having this mind meld. Well, so there's both the humor of that, but also the practical nature of the kind of conversations to have, it's so great because it's problem solving mode. Okay, yeah, yeah, okay. It's so cool. That is fun. That is exciting. Because you stop completing sentences. I actually feel at home because you don't need to say the full sentences anymore. You could just say random words and you start to understand what you're talking about and then you can have multiple conversations at the same time and go on these tangents. One of the biggest problems I have with podcasting for me talking, I have to finish my sentences. I have to actually finish making a point, which is a big problem because there's like a listener that needs to hear the point being finished as opposed to completing your sentences inside your own mind. And like the thing I find is useful to Elon does exact same thing is when the line of thinking is no longer useful, you just ran, you just switched to the next thing. You just leave that whole thing behind. You don't need a nice transition. You don't need any of that. And also just it's the first principles thing. It's like zooming in on the elephant in the room. I love that. It's so energizing. That's what I love about engineers. It's not the maybe most eloquent communication style, but I love it. What about you? So you said moving the book, what else? And you've been really excited about that's Anarchist Handbook, but you've also been nonstop excited about White Film. That was most of this year. You've been actually made significant progress. I'm on page 40 of the second draft. And it's really kind of funny because when you're doing your I think 10th book, I lost track already. The first draft is actually pretty good. Like I'm going back and like, all right, this is going to be a whole slog. I'm like, oh, I just have to cut and paste this and basically tweak a few words. So I did a good job with the first draft. It's also funny when you're writing how, and I guess this is the mark of a good professional writer, my personal feelings don't match how the characters in the book come off. Like I have a lot of fondness for people like Emma Goldman and Alexander Berkman and they're early on in the book, but they're not good people. And I'm writing it objectively and whatever, and I'm reading this, I'm like, they come off much worse than my personal appraisal of them. So it's kind of interesting as a writer when you're watching it, I guess, kind of like an attorney, right? Like you can have a situation where you as an attorney, you have a lot of fondness for your client, but you realize that they probably did this thing or you could not, it could be other way. Like they're innocent, but it's hard for you to make a good case for them because the data's not there. Can you actually talk about your writing process in several ways? So one, your writing process, but two, by way of advice of how to write. You've talked about in the past, like your first draft is these kind of disparate or more chaotic in that you don't, in the same way maybe I was saying in the engineering discussion, you don't complete the sentences. It's just like thoughts. The first like real good writing advice I remember getting was this book by Peggy Noonan called What I Saw at the Revolution. And she was Ron Reagan's speech writer. She still writes for the Wall Street Journal. The book I bought was at a used bookstore in Lewisburg, Pennsylvania when I was in college. The spine is cocked, I still have it, it was 99 cents. And she talked, when you're writing for a president, this is no joke, especially for a president who's the great communicator, Reagan. So, and you have to be very inspirational, but also not come off as corny, which is very hard to do. And she in the book talks about how she wrote speeches for him, how she, I'm paraphrasing her and I haven't read her book in a couple of decades, but basically she would write like a brain dump and it's just garbage. And she's like, that's okay, just get it all out there. And then there's that expression, all writing is editing. So for the White Pills specifically, this is, I don't know if it's the most ambitious book I've ever done, your reader I think is more ambitious because that's all of North Korea's history and it's written in somebody else's voice, not a person's abortion. And you, like you mentioned, you had to read a giant number of books. Yeah, 60 books as research, yeah. Well, maybe can we just pause, can you say what White Pill is about? Sure, it's about hope and it's a tale of good and evil. And I think that's, I don't want to tip my hand too much, but people are always like, how do you think, why are you so hopeful? And I'm not hopeful on an emotional level, I'm hopeful because looking at history, I think there's certain things that not will certainly happen again, but it's not at all implausible to happen again and that the good guys will win. And this is one of those cases. So, the book took on a life of its own, it's very different from how I originally conceived it. I originally conceived it as a kind of retelling of Camus philosophy, Ryan Holiday, who he used to be close friends with, I've talked to him in a while. He has a whole kind of cottage industry based on the Stoics of the past. I'm like, okay, I asked him once, can I do this with Camus? He said, sure. And then I reread Camus recently and it wasn't what I had remembered. I was like, Camus wasn't that, I apologize to interrupt. So, it's interesting. So, he kind of took ideas from Stoics and started to kind of use it as a book that gives you advice about how to live life from the Stoic perspectives. And you were thinking, is there something in existentialism, absurdism, or something specifically in Camus thinking, or I think you've mentioned Mithos Sisyphus, specifically like his philosophical work. So, you were trying to see like, is there, can I resurrect this? That's actually, I would think, that's an interesting project. And it's sad to hear that it didn't materialize in exactly that form, because I thought there would be a lot in that. So, I had Douglas Murray on my show and he also made the point, like when you go back and read Camus, there's not that much there. The myth of Sisyphus is not at all how I remembered it. The vast bulk of that book is like literary criticism. So, he's talking about Dostoevsky and all these different people who are embodiments of the absurd, but I'm like, there's not much to take from here. The actual title essay is basically like a six chapter essay at the back of the book, which it's good for what it is, but there's not that much there to draw. I'm extremely, he's a great hero of mine. I think his life is just enormously admirable. He fought very hard against the Nazi occupation. His book, The Plague, which I find unreadable is an allegory about Germany conquering France and so on and so forth. Wait a minute, why is The Plague unreadable? It's the kind of book where reading the book doesn't add anything to the plot. The plot is a plague comes, sleeps over the town, destroys a lot of life and vanishes quickly as it came. You don't need to read the book now. You get the point. I deeply disagree with you. Yes, of course I've read The Plague. To me, The Plague is about the doctor and it's about love and it's about the different roles that humans take in a time of tragedy like The Plague. Also, it's an allegory, so you could start to think about whether it's Nazi Germany, whatever you think that is. To me, that was about love and about the highest ideal being the doctor that sacrifices themselves for others and still has love and hope. I mean, to me, the way that story is told, I think, has a lot of meaning. It's like, to me, you saying that's interesting. You say it this way, but to me, it's like saying Animal Farm doesn't need to be read because it's an obvious story. I don't think there's much plot to The Plague. I think Animal Farm has a very long plot and a complex plot. But there's experiences within. So the situation is set up in The Plague and there's experiences that start to reveal a philosophy. So yeah, it's not very plot driven. So I would say you still should read it, but The Plague doesn't... Like you didn't give away anything currently. Some books are just... I mean, Ayn Rand is similar to that in the sense like The Plague is not as important as the behavior of the different people in that plot. I think she's very plot heavy. No, she has plot, but I'm saying that's not necessarily the important thing. To me, the behavior of the people is the important thing. You could like separate it into a bunch of blog posts and they stand on their own. I would have to think about that with Ayn Rand. She does, through the plot, create a world where you start to understand the different values that people have, but yeah. Yeah, but that's what the plot serves. Yeah, I would have to think. But in The Plague, it's the behavior of the people that's really important. And the same, I mean, The Stranger too. I mean, these like... I'm trying to scramble here for books I really appreciate that don't have a plot. I mean, Notes from Underground. So obviously, Dostoevsky has a huge amount of plot in most of his work. Hermann Hesse has a huge amount of plot. Thomas Mann doesn't have the plot. He's the one who doesn't have plots. Thomas Mann. Would you say Kafka has a plot? I think Kafka's very heavy plot driven. Yeah, but I just don't see that, I guess. I guess Metamorphosis doesn't really have a plot. Yeah, but there's like crawling around. But it's like a vignette. It's not really like this. It's not short, yeah. Yeah. A Hunger Artist, one of my probably favorite short stories is that kind of a short story. It's a pretty long short story of Kafka's. It's really interesting. It's about a man. I don't know if you read it. No, I don't think so. It's about a man that is like a freak in a sense that his skill is that he can fast for a long time. Okay. And then people gather on the cage and look at him as he fasts. I don't actually remember if he's in a cage or not. And eventually, he fasts so long that people don't even care anymore. Like they just leave. So there's a, it has to do something. It makes me think about like, don't become, the way you live, don't become like a freak show, a circus act. Like live for an ideal, live for something that brings you joy. Or don't live for the sake of attention. For the sake of attention. Yeah, that's, yeah. Yeah, anyway, so I rudely interrupted because you were talking about the plague and connecting it to the writing process of White Pill. Yeah. Well, anyway, so how I was writing this one, I just had a first draft of notes and it's not in chronological order. It's like, I read certain books as research and then I had the pull quotes that was necessary there. And now I'm basically rearranging everything and putting it. So the book started as Ryan Holiday's. Right. The equivalent of Ryan Holiday as Camus, the working title would have been The Point of Tears because this is great. Camus is a great quote maker and he has this line about man must live, live to the point of tears, which I think is just what I love about him is Camus, he always comes off as like he's clenching his teeth. He's clenching his teeth both in terms of like barely mitigated rage and injustice. Like when he sees people suffering, it just really makes him like just upset to the core. But also this sense of not taking life for granted and kind of just pushing yourself and pushing the boundaries. And his point being that life is inherently meaningless, which gives a great opportunity to impute meaning to it to create our own meaning to life. So taking the main essay from Sisyphus, myth of Sisyphus, that was the origin story for the white pill, but then it became something completely different. Yeah. And so then it became, how are you so optimistic in the face of everything that's going on in the world? And I started writing it when COVID started hitting. And I, because again, I'm not optimistic because of some temperament of mine. I'm optimistic because, you know, people talk about how if the US didn't exist, China would just become an empire and take over everything. Empires are expensive and look at the British empire, you know, look at the Soviet Union. Like it's not automatically sustainable. It costs a lot of things to make sure when you're geographically, you know, all over the world, literally, to keep everyone in line. It's not at all like a super villain movie. Like once it happens, it's the happy ending for them. So yeah, that was the start. And I'm like, all right, let me tell, one thing I'm good at is telling stories. So this is really a... So this is narrative, plot driven. Very, very plot driven and also heavily character driven, but the characters are real. Yeah. Got it. So it's interesting to kind of mention what kind of, what does the first draft kind of look like in terms of, what kind of things do you plop down? Oh, so it'll be like, let's suppose I just read a, like, you know, some book called The Guillotine at Work, which was an early book attacking Lenin from the anarcho communist perspective. So it'll just be like all the different quotes, like a paragraph here, double space, another paragraph, you know, blah, blah, blah, so on and so forth. Whereas for other sections where I wasn't just using the book as research, there would be like talking about McKinley getting shot. Like it's just me writing the narrative and that I could just pretty much copy paste into the second draft. By way of advice, would you give that as advice? Is that a good way to do it? Or is that a very peculiar way your brain works? No, so this is actually advice I feel comfortable giving to people who are trying to write. Because it's just like with the gym, right? If you did seven sets, seven, excuse me, reps last week and you did eight this week, it's psychologically motivating because you're going the right direction and the human mind extrapolates. So make sure, tell yourself I'm gonna get a page done today or two pages done, sit your ass down on the computer, you're not allowed to get up till you get those two pages. It doesn't matter if they look like garbage because if you have a 300 page first draft and it's crap, at least you have something to work with and that's a big number. So if you're gonna, the thing is, since the first draft is gonna be crap, if you're editing as you write, it's gonna be extremely discouraging. And it's also trying to drive and doing reverse at the same time. It's a completely nonsensical way to do it. Get it all out there, don't look it over. If you have a great line, put it in your phone and then add it to the draft so it'll be a complete slog. But editing that slog is gonna be a lot easier than creating it to begin with. And when you see those disparate lines all laid out on the page, how difficult is it to then start stitching it together? Do you find that when you look at a list of those things the final product will look very different or will you actually use those lines? No, I will use those lines. Then I have a file called scraps. So like if the line's no longer used, I put it in my scrap pile. I'd love to see what's in the scrap pile. Okay, yeah, sure. One of the things I've been pulling scraps is a lot of times when I was earlier writing, I would have contemporary references and I realized that that's bad because I want the reader to be in the past as the present. So if you're talking about let's say 1901 and then you're referring to Obama, that screws people up so I had to pull all those. Okay, let's talk about some New Year's resolutions. Do you ever do New Year's resolutions? Do you ever think like that, like take a special day in the year to think about how you're gonna try to change yourself or do you try to transform yourself every single day when you wake up? Well, I usually have several projects I'm working on at once so there's always incremental progress in those. You know, it's nice to have a deadline but at the end of 2022, I'll accomplish this, kind of like to hold yourself responsible and then you could do that at the beginning of the year to think about that, both philosophically like what kind of big, not projects that you can quantify but more like how can I change my life or like I mentioned, take the leap of different kinds and then there's specific things like finish the book. I, years ago and I'm, I think on some level, you much less than me but I think you're increasing in this direction, I realized it's more, I have to learn how to be a surfer and not a driver because when you reach the level we're at in our careers or in our place in the culture, a lot of this is luck and a lot of this is just like I'm just going along for the ride because it's kind of counterintuitive like the success of the Anarchist Handbook was counterintuitive. So all I'm hoping for is getting the book done. I am extremely proud of it and just also building a, we had Thanksgiving together at Blair's house, just building a great upcoming community here in Austin which has happened very quickly. I was, there was gonna be another surprise here. There's a girl named Natalie SideSurf and she makes these ultra realistic cakes like if you've seen those cakes online where it looks like you're cutting a puppy, like she makes those kinds of things. So she's here. In Austin? Yeah. Oh cool, like moved permanently? I think she's been here for a while. I haven't met her yet but I just kind of chatted with her. So it's just so many, there's so many scenes happening here that are overlapping. So in general, finish the book, keep building a community. You've already been doing that here. You've been here several months. I've been making a point to introduce people to each other and everyone's just really getting along very well. That's great and the book is the focus. The book is the focus. What about the podcast that you're doing? You're welcome. Yeah, I mean I enjoy it and it's been growing a lot. I finally got a new computer which my friend Jay installed so I can have a decent camera because of my old, this is my mindset as a hoarder. Like I was more interested in spending money on a Pareto autograph than actually getting a computer that's from the 20th century. So, but I'm such an old school person in that in my head, podcasts are like so ephemeral. Like I don't, like there's some episodes of my podcast that I'm really proud of and there's a lot of friendships I've made as a result of it that really mean a lot to me. No question. It's made my life profoundly better place. But it's not the same as that book on the shelf, especially when the book is something that I think matters much more than I do. Yeah, there's a permanence to it. There's a seriousness to laying down the words on paper, like really giving them thought. Yeah, that's true. I mean, I'm a huge fan of podcasts. You don't listen to podcasts much. It's just fascinating to. Yeah, like at all. Like I don't know how mine is so successful. Like it's just, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I just love the medium. Yeah, but I love the authenticity, the authenticity. The realness of the medium. That's really nice. I just understood for the, it's starting to click because like my pal Blair White, she was just on Rogan curiosity for science, which he did. He was curious about not just boring minutia of science. He was interested about the big questions in science, which I could see that become exciting to scientists. Like, oh wow, here's a person who's thinking big. That's always exciting. When somebody goes into a room and thinks about how do we solve intelligence? How do we travel faster than the speed of light? That's exciting to people, especially people with money because it's like, all right, so we might be able to actually do big things here. But you could see through the bullshit, the deadness in the eyes. I don't know. So I think about that because I feel like I have the responsibility for me as an individual to detect evil. So I, do you know who Michael Allig is? Okay. This is going to be a whole long, this is going to be on Lex Clips, but this is a whole long story. So there was a scene in New York in the nineties called the Club Kids. And they would go out to different nightclubs at night. They would all dress in really kind of crazy costumes. And the costumes were all like goofy and like just like an angel. This was dressed like a nurse. There was a juvenile aspect to it. They're all taking, you know, ketamine and ecstasy to all hours. This is kind of, rape culture was coming up in there. And ahead of it, and in fact, there's a clip on YouTube. I think it was the Jane Whitney show of the Club Kids and Gigi Allen. Gigi Allen is a, you know, kind of punk rock performer, hard rock performer who passed away. And the audience and Gigi Allen was very aggressive and like a crazy person. My friend once saw him in a concert and he took a dump on stage, smeared it all over his face, grabbed the girl from the audience, gave her a big kiss. And as she walked by him, she just went like this, like, excuse me, like went to the bathroom. So the audience is screaming at Gigi Allen because he's very visibly over the top. Whereas you got a bunch of these kids dressed in these silly costumes, you guys just having fun. Well, the head of the Club Kids, Michael Allig, ended up killing someone. There was a kid called Angel Menendez who hung around with them. He would always have angel wings and boots. One time they're at Michael's condo with another drug dealer named Freeze. They got into a fight. So Angel got hit in the head with a hammer. They kill him. What are we going to do with the body? They put it on ice in the bathtub. They had a party. So everyone's going to the bathroom while Angel's body's there. Michael got, they're like, all right, we got to take care of this. Michael got extremely high in heroin, had like a cutlery from Macy's, saw the body in pieces, put it in a box. They took him in a cab. The cab driver helped them throw the body into the river. And then Michael starts walking around Manhattan wearing Angel's boots and would tell people, oh, I killed Angel. Now, because he was a super effeminate, over the top, like he would pee in people's beer kind of guy, everyone's like, oh God, Michael, like you and your stupid pranks. But it was true. And he got caught and he got sentenced to jail. So I was in a store in Manhattan in Soho. And it was one of those stores where you have like all sorts of things for sale. And I saw a painting and it said Malice. And I'm like, wait, what? And it was M. Allig. It was a Michael Allig painting. He had painted while in jail. So my mom bought it for me for my birthday. I don't remember what birthday it was. And I started writing to him in prison. He was going to write a memoir called Aligula, which is clever. And then I actually went to visit him. I'm like, I want to see what this person's like. Because on one hand, he's king of New York nightlife, this goofy person. And it's also kind of ironic that G.G. Allen is like, maybe he's gross. He's not killing anybody. He's probably an accountant off the stage. And Michael Allig actually did kill someone and then bragged about it, tongue in cheek. But meeting him, he passed away last December, on Christmas actually, on Christmas 2020. He was clearly a sociopath. And I'd never met a sociopath before. Now, a lot of times you'll read these, you'll take a BuzzFeed quiz, like, are you a sociopath? And it's like, oh, my feelings weren't hurt when I was mean to someone. It's not a thin line between me and you and him. It's a thick, thick line. Because when you're talking to someone like that, at least in this specific case, he was being very friendly. And it's not like he was going to kill anyone or as a threat to me. But there's that sense like something's really off here. And he was talking to me about how after he had killed Angel, he would just talk about it because he felt so much guilt. He just wanted to get caught. It's like, no, no, no. What he was describing wasn't guilt. He was describing just he didn't like the knife over his head, like waiting to get caught. I'm like, you don't even know what guilt is? So it was kind of like, oh, wow. But the thing is Michael Allig was in a very low social position. And the thing is when someone is powerful, very high status, and they do something, we are as kind of hierarchical animals, we kind of defer to their norms. So if you're at a party with, let's suppose, either of us, and it's like a Jeffrey Epstein party, and everyone at the party is doing some sort of weird drug we've never heard of, we wouldn't really feel comfortable judging them because like their norms kind of become the norm for that space. The lesson for me about Jeffrey Epstein, there's a lot of them because I think to me, the biggest moment was the Amy Rohrbach situation. Amy Rohrbach was caught on a hot mic saying that they had all the goods on him, they had all the names, and that Buckingham Palace called them, they killed the story because they weren't going to get a Meghan Markle interview out of it. So that, the willingness of those in power to do the wrong thing for the flimsiest pretext, I think was a big important lesson. Also the fact that no one at ABC had any consequences for this. In fact, the only person who got in trouble for all this was someone who used to work at ABC, went to I believe CBS, and they got fired from CBS because apparently they had access to footage at one point, even though they weren't the ones who had leaked it. So whistleblowers are like the only, for example, the case in Eric Garner, the guy who was selling Lucy cigarettes in New York City, who was arrested, he had a heart attack or whatever it was on the way to jail, he died. So the cops had a situation, the only person who had gotten in trouble because of that was the guy filming it, he went to jail. So I think there's a lesson in terms of, look at Julian Assange, right? There's a huge amount of power exercised by elites to make sure that what is done on the cover of darkness remains on the cover of darkness. And also Kevin McCarthy, who was currently the House Minority Leader, leader of the Republicans, he wrote a letter to ABC News, like, you had this guy, maybe you couldn't call in the authorities, but you could have leaked it to somebody, why hasn't anything come forward? Nothing happened as a result of this. We also have to keep in mind that the longest serving Republican Speaker of the House in history, Dennis Hastert, went to jail because of things related to pedophilia and things like that. So as Russians, and this is something I think you and I have mentioned before, Americans are very naive, often decreasingly so, about the nature of evil. They think an evil person is someone who's getting kickbacks or the Cuomos are colluding, something like that. I would hardly even call that evil. No, no, this is the sort of things that are so depraved that you would never think about it in a million years in your own home. You don't think in these terms. And I think they get off on doing things that if the average person heard about it, the average person would be shocked because that gives them this sense of we're above them, we're different from them. The rules don't apply to us. There's a lot to say here. So what is the norm thing you said at a party? It's really interesting for an NR cast to say that. Well, no, it's this. No, well, I know, I know. I'm not, sorry, that came off as criticism. I meant it as harsh criticism. No, I think about that a lot. I found myself in situations where I'm invited to these kinds of parties where people have nice things. And I find it deeply uncomfortable for that reason. I don't want to be sort of an activist that goes in and ruins a party. I think that's not the courageous act. Neither is it courageous when everyone's doing some weird drug that you mentioned to join in, I think. Courageous is more being, remaining yourself, sticking to your principles, calmly in that room where everybody is doing the drug. And just don't do the drug. Don't make a scene about it, but also don't do it. And I think that little act of courage over time is the way you resist Jeffrey Epstein. That exactly the thing you said is probably the situation where charisma works. So one charismatic person gets the little crowd going and the crowd is everybody sort of is everybody sort of establishes a norm at the little crowd. And yes, there could be some dynamics that allow that norm to be established. Like you said, like rich and powerful people might enjoy being rich and powerful and better than everybody else kind of thing. But like I, especially for scientists, I thought they should have integrity and courage enough to to see through that. Not again, as an activist, like so you can tweet about it, how courageous you and the first 10 minutes, I was so angry. Like I was sitting there like yelling at the screen because Joe and Blair, you would think that they're going to start talking about Trump or trans issues or moving to Austin. They start talking about shark reproduction and neither of these dumbasses knew anything about it. I know a lot about it. And they're like, oh, is it like this? Or do the sharks lay eggs? And I'm sitting there, I'm like, if you don't know why you're talking about this, why? Why are you talking? And I could also see why people like these shows because they feel like they're friends of the people. Like they're sitting in the room because I felt like it was in that room and I wanted to shake both of them. Yeah, in the room. So no, what about transforming yourself and your resolutions like that? Oh, I'm doing a slight bulk now. So I'm almost at my heaviest weight ever, but I couldn't go to the gym this week because I was a little under weather. So that's been a little frustrating, but yeah. So are we going to get some more modeling pics? Is there goals there? So my heaviest, I'm 4.8. The heaviest I've ever been was when, and this is when I was like. He's exaggerating. He's not that tall. That's the metric. Oh, sorry. Are you talking about your height, 4.8? Yeah. Barely 4.6. So the heaviest I've ever been when I was really high body fat because I couldn't gain weight as a kid. So when I figured out I could actually gain weight, I was 164.5. So I want to hit 165 and then take it from there. I have a friend who's been helping me, my buddy Trey Goff and this kid Stronger. Jake, his username on Instagram is Stronger, both the number five instead of letter S. But he does, it looks like it's Photoshop, like your brain can't process it. You know the human flag? No. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. He does human flag pushups. Wow. So he is parallel to the ground, right? He's holding himself up like a flag, but he could also do this while, so he's moving parallel to the earth, side to side while, it's just crazy. That's really difficult. So you're interested in that kind of stuff? No, but I'm saying he's been helping me out, so the guy knows what he's doing. He's just a really impressive kid. I love that kind of stuff, like bodyweight stuff. So my primary mode of working out, it's very like the, you ever seen Leon, like the professional with Natalie Portman in that movie? I have a pull up thing as you push up some pull ups. It's very like, I'm just missing the milk. I like working out at home just like that. The bodyweight stuff, you can go so much with it. And it's super functional for everything else you live in, for life, for living life well. On the other hand, I don't care about functionality. The thing that really bothers me, like I go, I know Joe's thinking of opening up a gym, like a private gym. There's only like one power cage here at the Gold's I go to. I don't know what source that there's only one or that sometimes people aren't using it. I'm like, no one's doing deadlifts in here. No one, just me, it's Gold's. By the way, I don't want to say where, I'll tell you off mic, but there's a few really like ghetto places around Austin that are just like these shitty gyms that nobody wants to go to, but they have a rack. They have like, if you want to lift heavy, that kind of stuff. But are they 24 hours? That's the thing Gold's? Oh, but there are 24 hours in the following way. There's a code. Okay. And you just go in. Okay. And you turn on the lights. That's fine. And then you work out. I don't want to meet people. Exactly, well, that's just not true. Sometimes there's people and they're great. Yeah, and I've had fans come up to me at Gold's and they've all been cool, except, except. Oh no. Except. Except. If I have my headphones on and I'm doing deadlifts, I don't need you to come over, tap my ear, and start giving me critiques about my form. It's actually happened? Yes. Okay, I'm still angry about it. I'm pulling my 150 in peace, thank you. Yeah, people are hilarious. I was recently in, had actually the wildest day ever in my life. That was so many things happened in a row. So I went to a wedding in LA. Andrew? Andrew Schultz's and with Whitney Cummings and Joe Rogan and a bunch of other fascinating people. It's just, speaking of weirdos, there's the comedian, like the reason I find the comedians awesome, one, they're authentic, they're just cool people. Yeah, yeah. But they're also just weird. You don't become a comedian for not being like fucked up in all kinds of different, interesting ways. Anyway, so there's the wedding. I'm, you know me, it was only carbs at the wedding. So I didn't eat. I didn't eat for a long time. So I was like already fasted 20 hours, 25 hours. So this whole story of everything that happens is Lex like 40 hours fasted with Joe Rogan drinking a lot of whiskey. And so. You were drinking too? Oh, heavy. On 40, oh my God, that's crazy. So it is calories. That was my only source of calories is the whiskey. And so I didn't trust myself with carbs when I'm drunk. I just don't enjoy it because I'll forget. And I just enjoy eating like a strict healthy diet when I'm drunk because I'd rather eat more food that's healthy versus not. And so anyway, so then we went to Vegas together and then just kept doing wild thing after another wild thing. Rogan opened up for Whitney Cummings. He just like showed up at a random party that he wasn't invited. And he did a thing. He almost started a fight because some guy said stop spreading. Yelled at him, said stop spreading misinformation. And then we run into David Goggins out of all. This is my first time meeting David. I've talked to David a lot over the phone and we were supposed to do a thing together. And this is me trash out of my mind meeting David for the first time with his incredible wife, Rogan's wife was there. By the way, Joe Rogan's wife, David's wife made me realize that I really want to be married because they're not, they make their partners better. Like that, I was, there's a certain aspect of marriage that I'm afraid of that like your partner takes you away from life. You don't get to experience life as much. But this was like, they were enriching them. I don't know. It's like the world's most powerful support group. It was cool. Anyway, so then of course Drunk Lex challenges Goggins to pushups. I saw this on Instagram, whatever it was. So we're in the middle of the casino. And you're in your suit. In the suit, in the middle of casino, there's a crowd gathering. Like it's Joe Rogan, me and David Goggins and I'm just doing pushups with them. And Rogan is like commentating and yelling and screaming. It was surreal. And just going on to the next thing and next thing and next thing like this and then drove all the way from Vegas back to LA with Joe and Whitney and his wife. And it was like, what is this? And all of it is done in 24 hours. The one valuable lesson is don't fast and drink like excessively. So I've learned that because what happens is liquor hits your mind, my mind, sorry, I'll speak about my particular mind. Like the intellectual part of my brain got hit really hard, really fast. So I was not able to even more so than usual stitch together sentences. I understood everything really well. So like made you an immigrant again. So like meeting David, I want to say so many things. He's so inspiring to me, right? But all I said was like, hello. And I remember like opening my mouth to like try to say more. And I was like, and then I would just close my mouth and not be able to say anymore. Yeah, this is one of the reasons I don't drink ever. Yeah, it removes certain barriers. Like it allows you to maybe have fun that you wouldn't otherwise. But yeah, definitely for personal values, intellectual eloquence. But I also hate being hungover. The hungover part, yeah. That's the worst. Yeah, it's the worst. And you also like, I did this to myself. Yeah. But it also teaches me that this too shall pass because I've been hungover and I've quit drinking so many times in my life that it makes you realize that all the unpleasant feelings, all you have to do is just wait it out and it'll be fine. It took me a long time to realize that that expression means the other thing. What's the other thing? If things are going great, this too shall pass. Yeah. Life of suffering. No, I always thought about it as being more like, don't worry if things are bad, it'll pass. It's also like, if something's going great, it's not going to be this way forever. It's like Bukowski said, love is a fog that fades with the first daylight of reality. Do you think love can last? Oh yeah, we're going to win. Who's we? The good guys. Didn't Hitler also think he's the good guys? He's wrong. Because you know why? Why? You need to win. So you think it's permanent? So this one time the good guys winning, it'll last. It won't pass. Because I think all of it passes, unfortunately. I think we're going to win and win big in the Nazist future. Do you have specific things in mind or no? Or just a sense about human civilization, about society waking up? I don't know about waking up, but I think the increased understanding on all sides of the political spectrum that corporate America and corporate news outlets are self motivated actors and those motivations are often inimical to what others would regard as desirable is something that I think is happening with increasing frequency. So what do you think about the political landscape in general? You had a great conversation with Glenn Beck and he said that he talked to Trump and believes that Donald Trump is definitely running in 2024 or very likely running in 2024. I think he said he thinks he'll have a good chance of winning or I don't remember that, but the fact that he was running was a surprise to you. Do you think Donald Trump would be running in 2024? Given that Glenn Beck has a much better relationship with Trump than I do, to put it mildly, if Glenn Beck is certain this is going to happen, I would defer to Glenn Beck's judgment. Do you think he has a chance of winning? Do you think he'll win? Anyone in a binary political system who's the nominee has a chance. Like whoever the Republican or Democrat has a chance. I think also it's a lot easier to vote for someone that you have voted for in the past. So that's why incumbents have a big advantage. There's not that psychological barrier to cover. I think it's also useful for Trump that he's banished from social media because then he doesn't have to have the responsibility of governing and all the costs of that, because no matter what decisions you make while governing, some people aren't going to like that. So he gets to kind of be above the radar or below the radar rather to some extent. I don't think it's at all a given that he would get the nomination. When I say the good guys are going to win, I certainly don't mean Donald Trump. I don't think victory is going to come as a consequence of Washington. You don't want to make America great again? I think America is great. So do you don't... This is my failed attempt at humor. One of many. There are also hats that Giuliani and Jim Jeffords wore that said, people can look this up. They said, because they were south of the border, make Mexico great again also. Like that to me, it was like, just the syntax there. Okay. So you don't even think you might get the nomination? Who else might? I mean, if you had asked three years out who the nominee in 2020 would be, Donald Trump wasn't even, or 2016 rather, wasn't even on the radar screen. So we have a long way to go. Even two years is a long way to go? Yeah. Especially because we're coming out of COVID. There might be some governor who becomes a rockstar for some reason. Maybe some congressman might have some big moment where they're screaming at somebody and all of a sudden they become a rockstar in the Republican party. Or it could be one of the celebrities we don't think about. I mean, Donald Trump is essentially not a political figure before he ran. So it could be any of the famous right leaning celebrities. I don't even know which way McConaughey leans. No, I think he's a lefty or he's a Democrat, but he's not running. But people like that just might step into the ring. Yeah. I don't think they'd have that much of a chance because I think the Republican party, there's an asymmetry. They'd be much more skeptical of an actor than the Democrats would be because they would regard that actor as coming as a kind of mentoring candidate or whatever. Right. But there's other kinds of celebrity, like Jocko could run as a Republican. That's a good example. Yeah. That would be interesting. So military person. Right. Yeah. But already, for example, Dr. Oz is thinking of running for, is going to run for the Senate in Pennsylvania. And there's already been a lot of research, people slamming him on Twitter and social media for past positions he's taken. So DeSantis is the figure of the moment, but Scott Walker was the figure of the moment in the 2016 cycle and he didn't even make it to Iowa. Yeah. And I wonder what role does COVID play in all of this? Right. In terms of, I'm mostly optimistic and hopeful about the world. Like when I look at the world, I'm excited by most things. I've been a little bit or a lot disappointed by the lack of great leadership in a time of trouble. Because to me, one of the great things about a difficult time is it brings out the great leaders. Again, it's the up and down things. Like you don't want to ask for war. You don't want to ask for pandemics, but when they happen, it's a great opportunity for the human spirit to flourish. And the fact that it didn't quite in the way that I hoped it would is disappointing. I think there's still time too, because people are trying to figure out what to do as we emerge from the fog. Yeah. So I'm excited by 2024. Somebody said this dark, cynical thing. I hope this is not true, but like that there was some doubt about the results of the election in 2020, that in 2024, both sides, like it will just start becoming standard to completely reject the results of an election no matter who wins. Well, that's my perspective. I don't regard elections as legitimate. And I see what you're saying, not in the terms of that basically the process itself was illegitimate. Yes. There's like cheating or something. Yeah. But I think that that's pretty much a given. It has been a given. Like I see the Republicans often say, oh, they got all these illegals to vote. Or the Democrats will say the voting machines were hacked or the media, so on and so forth. Because despite all the people flapping their gums about democracy, they only like democracy when it gives them the results that they want. Can I ask you about something else that Glenn Beck said that I thought was really interesting? Sure. I agree with him very much on this. And it was refreshing to hear, although he kind of made it turn into a point about why Trump is great or whatever. But the point was the following, which is he doesn't want to talk to anybody who can't say at least one nice thing about everyone. So like, if you don't like Donald Trump, if you don't like Joe Biden, you should still be able to say one nice thing, like legitimate nice, not just like a dismissive nice thing, but legitimately say, what is one nice thing they did or like, or who they are as a person? Not like saying Donald Trump is funny sometimes. Like no, like legitimate, where you really mean it. And it's been really troubling to me how few people are able to do that about political figures. I had a lot of people, I think I tweeted something like this leading up to the election, saying like, you should be able to say something nice about both Joe Biden and Donald Trump. And I've had old friends, I don't want to say specific, I guess, to call them out, but they, several people, and one in particular, like wrote me this long, like several page email. It was Sam? It was Sam Harris. Was it Sam Harris? Sam Harris. No. But I have a lot of conversations with Sam Harris now and Joe on both sides. It's like the devil and the angel on both my, I don't know which one is which, but they're both devils. Different kinds of devils. Yeah, that's fair. And they said, how could you say, how could you even consider like that there's something positive about Donald Trump? Yeah, here's an easy one. He has three wives with three kids with each, but the kids get along. I think that's really commendable that Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump and Barron can all get along with each other, given the circumstances. I think that speaks to something as someone as a father, Ivanka. So on the family level, and I see the same thing with actually, one of the reasons I always found Joe Biden fascinating is he's had a lot of really traumatic things happen in his life. Yeah. And if I shit my pants in front of the Pope, I'd be traumatized too. I'm talking to a master troll about something sensitive and beautiful that is a man suffering with a loss. I kind of know what he feels like right now. I'm pretending to the Pope. This chair is ruined. Sorry, Elon. You have to sit in it. You have to sit in it. Why is this chair full? I feel like I'm sitting in a swamp. Lex, you have stuff to show. Can you afford a good chair? I'll send you one for Tesla. That's a pretty good Elon impression. But yeah, one criticism I told Joe, Rogan, he has trouble finding one positive thing to say about Joe Biden, for example, and I just don't like that. I'm a big believer in the shit sandwich sticking on topic. Here's an easy one. I think Joe Biden clearly is a very amiable person. What's amiable? Gets along with people. It seems really clear that maybe before president, because it's different when you're the president, but that he could call a lot of these Republican senators, get them on the phone and have a conversation with them. Yeah, and it's not some kind of manipulation. To some extent it is because they're all politicians, but he clearly seemed to be able to get, wasn't like an ideologue. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, but there's, I mean, maybe I'm a sucker for that kind of thing, but the blue collar thing, like riding the train, you know, there's ways to connect with people and not seeing them as equals, no matter where their walks of life are. And I love it when presidents do that to some degree because of the wealth under which Donald Trump existed for a lot of his recent life. He's less able to do that quite naturally. Maybe sometimes Obama wasn't quite able to do that. That's a good question. Who's more blue collar, Trump or Biden? And you can easily make the case for both, I think. You could. No, not the blue collar, but like literally be able to fit in at a bar, at a local bar and just like. I can see both of them. Yeah, you're right. I could see both of them. Yeah. In fact, Obama doesn't quite. No, cause he's got that Ivy league thing. Yeah, the Ivy league thing. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're right. Somehow Donald Trump can too. Oh, easily. Yeah, you can see him having a beer with the guys and yelling at the screen. This is bullshit. Change the channel. Yeah. I mean, I hope people do that. I think that's one of the most unpleasant things to me is they're not able to empathize with the fact that half the country voted for another person. Well, it's also then it's just a bad strategy. If you can't figure out why half the country is voting for someone you guard as like a demon, well then how are you going to supposed to fight this demon? Like, you know, when I did your reader, the North Korea book, it's like, don't you want to understand how these people get to where they got? It's, no one's saying that he's a good person, but like there's a logic to their, there's a method to their madness. You've talked about national divorce a few times. I've seen a couple of videos recently where you're responding to articles. It's, it's kind of cool. Can you, can you talk about this idea of national divorce and as it stands today, arguing for it, maybe, and if you could, just out of curious in the context of those videos, if you can steal men and argument against. So I was the first one to kind of bring this issue back into the national conversation. I wrote a piece for Observer in 2016. Then Jesse Kelly had a piece a few months after that. David Boyd just recently did a piece on his stuff stack earlier this year. And it's become enough of a mainstreamed idea that paleontology outlets like the National Review have felt the need to respond to them. So the point being that America has had at least two cultures since the beginning and that there's absolutely no reason. And these cultures in recent years, and this was in 2016, not mentioned 2021, have been increasingly antagonistic toward one another and have even lost the ability to communicate. They're using language in different ways and that there's no reason for this to continue any further. And, you know, just, you live your life, we'll live ours and, you know, goodbye and good luck. There's no harm, no ill will. Now there's lots of arguments against them. Some of those are, are completely, I think, stupid. The stupidest one is, well, that's what China wants. Okay. Well, I mean, I'm not going to live my life saying I'm just going to do the opposite of whatever China wants. That's not logic. That's not a good pathway. Now, I'm not saying they're right or wrong, but that's not a reason one way or another. Yeah. You bring up China or Russia, you know, that's exactly what China or Russia want. But sort of the strong way to phrase that is is it weakens America. Like not just the one America, but like both sides in the divorce will be much weaker than they individually were together. So in that sense, not that you have to care about what China thinks, but like it's a step, it's a big step backwards. Yes. I think in the short term, it is absolutely a big step backwards in terms of power. There's no question that when you're trying to reestablish a society, there's going to be a transition period. That transition period is going to be costly. Each side starts wondering, wait a minute, why are we still doing this? We don't have to anymore. We're not living with them, so on and so forth. So that's going to be a concern. I don't think that the whole point of America or even a large or primary point of America is to be a bulwark against Chinese power. And there's going to be very few people on earth, given my work, who have as much informed hatred and contempt for the Chinese government as I do. Certainly, next to the North Korean people, maybe the people from Eritrea, there's few populations who I was worried about as the people under the rule of the Red Chinese. My steel man argument is there's no way this is going to be peaceful because the lines don't separate out well. So all you're doing is basically just replicating the problem because the disparity isn't between during the Civil War, North and South, it's between New York City and upstate New York or between Chicago, downstate Chicago. Once you get outside of LA and Sacramento, California in many ways is like Kentucky, so it doesn't make sense. So that's a strong argument. I mean, you've talked about that this process will be painful. It can be painful. And we're not just talking about violence. It could be just, even the Civil War, you could divide it somewhat cleanly. Obviously, the kind of national divorce you might be suggesting is that people are living amongst each other. So you have to literally move. It's complicated. Right. So that is a very strong argument. I think a cogent argument against it. Two is it's not just China, it's that there's a lot of bad actors in the world who maybe aren't, like China certainly wants to carry itself and have an appearance at least on the world stage as civilized and a leader. There's lots of smaller countries who without us are going to feel comfortable doing some very nefarious things. And they're not going to be scared of us anymore. And so that would be a bigger concern in many regards than China. So I think that's a reasonable one. It could be that both sides, if this happens, are going to, instead of work toward better, the things that make each side bad would get worse. Yeah. And that's having those pushed towards the malevolent extremes is, I think, a very legitimate criticism and a concern. I mean, as you suggested, there's no guarantee that won't happen. Correct at all. Also, there's a, I think, a reasonable argument to make. So those are the biggest ones, I would say. And still, what is the case for national divorce and along which lines? So like in making the case for national divorce, if it is desired, based on which kind of ideas do you think it should be carried through? Honestly, I don't know that it has to be idea based. Like for example, when Czechoslovakia broke up, when Norway and Sweden broke up, it wasn't really ideological. It was more cultural. So I always say divorce into two, but it would probably make more sense if it was like five, because the Northeast, certainly New England, has their own culture. The West Coast has their own kind of culture. I don't know. The thing is, in any kind of persuasion technique, right? Like once people start, there's a difference between convincing someone they want to buy a car and what features you want. So if you're at the point where we're arguing about the features, then my work here is done. Do you know what I mean? Like I don't have a dog in the fight in terms of what it's going to look like. I just want to get to the point where you're at least considering seriously the idea of breaking up America. And I would encourage people to go look at my article to see, which I'm sure the arguments still hold five years later. Do you have a kind of vision of which of the two or which of the five, like do you actually have specific cultures or ideas? I'll tell you exactly. If I told you, and everyone listening, in 2014, we weren't that long ago, it was not long ago, which of these two things is more likely to happen? 2014. Texas secedes or declares secession from America or Donald Trump gets elected president. Everyone's voting for Texas. Like in terms of prediction, which is more likely. So we had this one. So it's not at all unlikely we're going to have this one. I don't know if that logic carries through. You can't just say, here's an unlikely thing that happened, therefore anything can happen. I just said, you just earlier said anything could happen this episode, didn't you? Life is suffering. I wasn't listening to half the things you're saying. You said it. I said it. Yes, you said anything could happen. I'm definitely not here. I'm like you with podcasts. I do a podcast, but I don't listen to it. That's why I'm talking. Okay. So yeah, it can happen. But in which, I guess I'm asking, would you stay in Texas? A hundred percent. And I'd run for office probably. It'd be fun. I'm going to be the first president of Texas. I attended a debate between Yaron Brooks and Yoram Hazony. I don't know if you know who that is. The nationalist guy. The nationalist, yeah. He wrote a book called The Virtue of Nationalism. Yeah, I read that book. And then I actually did a podcast with him. They did a debate. Oh, they both run here? Mm hmm. Okay. It was quite interesting. And I tried to wear my Michael Malice hat. So the... You're wearing it now. You borrowed that from me. Yeah. It's funny because the metaphor applies across all of these levels of collectivism. So he was arguing for the power of nation. So he would be arguing against national divorce. But he was also arguing for marriage, the power of actual marriage between individuals. I think he's a conservative. What I really like about him is there's a clear philosophy of conservatism that he expresses. And I think a lot of people get behind that philosophy. Because to me conservatism and liberalism often is very kind of used loosely. Yes. He has a clear philosophy that he's expressing there and is grounded in tradition. He has a lot of value in tradition. And so it's the thing you said about America. Like one of the arguments against national divorce is like, listen, we've been at it for a while. Like there is a lot of value in the fact that we've been at it for a while. Don't just throw it all away all the time. So he says like philosophically, he seems in a lot of walks of life, revolution should be avoided as much as possible. I agree. And so it's kind of interesting. So he makes the case that there's something fundamentally powerful about the nation. That it's a nice way to group a culture. And so the national divorce, I guess, goes against that. I mean, do you find some aspect of the virtue of nationalism, as you will put it, powerful? Well, powerful in a good sense. In a good sense. So sorry, yeah, in a good sense, like it brings out the best in humans. I don't know about the best, but it certainly brings out good things. I have that line I always say about I love my country. I hate the government because I love my country. Yeah. So there is a love of country. I think it's, but I don't know that that's the, I think it's also the case because the country happens to be America. Like, I don't know if I was living in, you know, whatever, I don't want to insult someone's country. Canada, yeah. If I was living in Canada, I don't know that it'd be the Ochoa Patriot. This is a guy who calls basically every other country shithole country. Yeah, that's true. That's the fact. Yeah. So it's either, you're either, there's two types of countries, Texas or shitholes. Oh, wow. You went full Texas. So you're okay burning the Northeast to the ground at this point. Okay. I'm hoping for it. What they've done to New York City, I will never forgive these people. And I hope that they suffer enormously consequences for what they've done to New York. It's unconscionable, the assault that they've done and no remorse over how many creative outlets that they've destroyed. Yeah, it's the cultural hub, cultural center of the world. New York was the, this was the place where you go to put up your shingle and move the needle and make things happen. And I would understand if it was like, okay, we got to suffer through this for a year, but we're going to make sure all these businesses have a kind of safety net to make sure that they kind of get through and survive this, which they did to the banks in 2008, for example. And I'm saying this as an anarchist and there was none of that. So I burn it down and salt the earth. It's because it's like watching like a zombie. It's unnatural. It's an abomination. So I mean, sort of on the on the white pill side of things, I don't know about you, maybe I have a sense that both Silicon Valley that for me personally, maybe I have the same intensity of feelings you do about New York. It's just disappointing to see it be consumed with cynicism and a lot of other paralyzing forces. But I still have hope for that place. I think maybe it's the Yoram kind of tradition hope that through momentum, the strong reemerges. So like I have hope for New York. I think New York will continue like not maybe on the scale of years, but a scale of decades. It'll be ups and downs where it reemerges as a cultural center. I just can't imagine a place like New York is like Paris. There's going to be long stretches of time where it leads the world. Paris has not been a cultural hub for a very long time. Yeah. You know, the days of Matisse and Picasso and Gertrude Stein are long gone. It still is a hub. Even London isn't London. Yeah. You know, you're not the... But what is then? London is still London. Paris is still Paris. It's just not the Paris of old. It's not London of old. London is still a place. It's a tech hub. It's a fashion hub. It's a music hub. I mean, it's still a pretty strong hub. Yeah, but not like during the Beatles era or during the Sex Pistols era. But it could be just us romanticizing the past. Because what is a hub then? No, it's not romanticizing the past because a hub is the place where everyone on earth or our eyes are on you. So in the late 60s, in the mid 60s, you see the British Invasion, you know, the Kinks and all these other bands coming out of Great Britain, like they were the innovators. This was the place that was happening. In that sense, like... And Brooklyn, you know, 15 years ago. But I guess maybe in that sense, in the 21st century, geographical hubs are becoming a thing of the past. So like, you can be a hub in the digital space now. So like it's not, maybe you'll never have... I don't think... I think there will always be... I mean, what I'm saying, digital space makes it easier for, let's suppose, Cleveland to be a hub. Because all you need is like 10 people who happen to live in Cleveland or, you know, Akron was a hub, a minor hub. All it takes is 10 to 50 people to create a... Yeah, and maybe even less. Maybe it's just two or three or four people. I mean, there's been no shortage of articles talking about Austin and what's happening here. And I know some of Joe's plans and you and I and Blair and all these other people that we know. My buddy Andrew Heaton moved here. He's just one of the best people I know. It's just, I'm really, really excited. Can I ask you some weird thing about friendship? Of course. Because you mentioned Sam, he's Mr. Harris to you. Didn't that bother you how he went after Joe? He's like, oh, in case you guys have brain damage from watching Rogan's last episode, like watch, here's the answer. And it's just like... Oh, like digs like that. Yeah, yeah. I didn't like that. I didn't like that either. I think Sam doesn't like it either about himself. Okay. He regrets those things. Because it's very easy to say from his perspective, look, this isn't the full side. Rogan didn't show you the full side of the story. Here's the other side of the story. Please watch this and be informed. That's a very reasonable thing to say. Yeah, I don't quite understand this. So they do this about each other now. I'll put three people on the table, which is Joe Rogan, Sam Harris, and Brett Weinstein. And they have a way of talking like the other person is creating a lot of harm. Like, publicly we'll say things like that. And I understand there's emotion in it. But like, these are human beings that are friends of yours. But I'll go the other way. Let's suppose it is true that Joe's doing a lot of harm, spreading misinformation. Being sarcastic isn't going to be persuasive. Whereas if you're like, he's wrong, here's the facts, or be informed. To me, but then I'm not Sam Harris. He's got a bigger audience than me, so maybe he's the one who's right and I'm wrong. No, he's just human. Okay, well, I can't relate. Well, have you seen your Twitter lately? I mean, you have a lot of fun on Twitter. I feel like Twitter lets... I've never done that with someone I'm friends with. I never would. Okay, let's put that on record. It is on record. Because if there's an issue with you, I'm getting you on the phone. Yeah. Good. Because then I'm not backing you into a corner publicly. It doesn't make any sense strategically. Yeah, and actually, Brett Weinstein tweeted something sort of criticizing something, I did already forgot what. But he texted me first saying like, is it okay if I tweet this? Yeah. And I said, yep. I was excited. Yeah. But I think there's some level of just be compassionate privately and be compassionate publicly. Or be civil. Civil. For some reason, I don't like the word civility because it's polite. Or be cordial, is that better? No, what I mean is like... It seems phony to you? It seems phony. Like you should radiate love in whatever way. So even if you're rough with the other person, you should still show like respect and love for that person. And that gets back to the Russian rooms where they're yelling at each other, but they're still loving underneath it. I mean, the question I want to ask for you is, I think you and I have a different view on some things. Okay. We have a different approach to things just on the surface level, but also a different view on some things. I have a lot of hope for institutions. So maybe it's a gut instinct. Like your gut instinct is like centers of power are like, burn them down first and then let's figure it out. Sure. Or maybe that's a funny, rough way of saying it. No, I think that's about right. And then for me, it's like, no, let's understand the institution and slowly, revolutions from within versus revolutions from without. But like we can have those disagreements and there may be times when those disagreements will be, I could see in the future, I could see I'll be attacked by my friend Michael Malice, which I very look forward to it. No, not attacked, but you know what I mean, on the surface level, in the idea space. Anyway, you're shaking your head now, you won't. I guess maybe this also goes to Sam Harrison. Joe Rogan, I would love to be able to disagree, disagree in big ways on important things and still be close friends. And I don't understand why those are, should be contradictions. Yeah. And that's the tension. That's been the most heartbreaking thing to me about Sam and Brett and Joe. In the case of Brett, it's me, I don't know Brett. So I'm just like looking as somebody who just enjoys having these voices out there. And it seems like COVID just brought out the worst in some, many folks. And it just feels like it's so sad to me to see their friendship somewhat deteriorating. Or maybe I'm just being in a... No, it seems clear, it's deteriorated enormously. It's sad that that's the case. Yeah, so my, like I've had people come at me because I'm friends with you. And they were like, Oh, Lex authored some paper about masks. I don't even know what the hell they're referring to. I don't care. I always say and mean, I don't care whether someone agrees with me. I care how they treat me. And it goes the other way. Cause I'll have a lot of people on Twitter who are like, Oh, I'm on your team and blah, blah, blah. I'm like, I don't know you. You're not my team. And just because you happen to agree with me, it's of no value to me. Like I don't know you and I'm interested in knowing you. Many of my friends, I don't know what their politics are. I don't care. Like I care how we hang out. We have a good time. We watch dumb movies, watch YouTube, go to the store, whatever. I don't know what your politics are. I don't care what your politics are. Chris Williamson, who, you know, he's just here. He's going to be moving to Austin. I learned what his politics are in the last, we've been, we chat like almost every day because he took the world's smallest political quiz. And he figured out what his answers were. I had no idea where he's communist. He said, well, obviously. Yeah. Yeah. Marxist. Yeah. Let's be honest. Yeah. So like stuff like that, like it never, and people, I think because politics is often so tribal, especially now, they'll be like, oh, I could never be friends with someone who voted for X. Really? What if they're like grandma worked in that campaign? What if, you know, it's this, you can't think of one steel man argument why this would happen, but if they just want to spite their boss. So I don't like that approach at all. It makes no sense to me. You could still have debates. I mean, like, I would still like to have those conversations and still have disagreements. Like, I disagree with Joe on COVID a lot on a bunch of different things. Very kind of, but it's never like, it's not tense at all. It's just, it's, it doesn't have that arrogance that a lot of COVID conversations seems to have, like talking down to people from both directions. So I would love to have those because I love the debate. I love debates. It takes a lot to get me triggered. And when the Babylon Bee were interviewing Elon and he had this thing, he goes, well, I don't know anyone who wants to, you know, abolish the FDA and the FAA. And I'm standing there and I'm shaking. And the guys look at me and they're like, oh, we actually have an anarchist here. And the example he used was, you know, look, if playing football, you're going to have a referee there and you want the referee, you know, you don't want, but the referee started playing the game is such a good thing. And I'm sitting there, I'm like, the referee doesn't work for the state. The referee is a private individual working for this organization. And there's no reason at all that food quality, which is something crucially important has to be, or can only be delivered through the state and a government monopoly. That's actually really interesting. Just the link on that. Just a little bit with the vaccine and stuff like that, with the antiviral drugs, the FDA. So like, are you comfortable? Like who should be the referee? Right. Do you have an idea? Like what's the best referee for the vaccine? It's just the market. Just let people decide. This is tricky because the thing that I have not been following COVID as closely as Joe and Sam, as Mr. Harris, excuse me, and Mr. Musk. The point is, when anything like this is developing, there's going to be a lot of misinformation out there, even from the scientists, because it's a dynamic process. They don't know what they're dealing with. A lot of it has to be speculative. They don't know long term effects, because it hasn't been around for a long time. So I think it is very dangerous, when Joe was mocked for taking a laundry list of things under his doctor's advice and they kind of latched onto the ivermectin. And then they specifically said it was horse paste, although it's veterinary medicines. Why didn't they say dog paste or cat paste? It's like, well, he's not dead. And he's also taking drugs which are used in other circumstances. The very least, maybe they're pointless, but if the drug is being allowed for pharmaceutical reasons, the odds are quite low that they're going to have deleterious side effects in general. So I think this kind of insistence that there has to be one, a officially approved outcome that we're all doing, that is kind of dangerous thinking in general. By the way, I don't know if you saw, I got a chance to talk to the Pfizer CEO, and I had helped collecting questions. I got a lot of questions and people put at the top a question for Michael Malice. Oh really? No, the ask him what he likes best about me. Oh, what does he like best? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I actually had that on my list of questions I was going to ask him, and my plan was I'll ask him, Michael Malice wants to know what you like best about him, and then my guess was he'd be like, who? And I'd be like, exactly, and then go on to the next. But I thought it was such a tense conversation that I thought there would be no... Of course, room for levity. The question I would ask him is can you acknowledge that there is an enormous incentive for your company to force everyone in America or everyone on earth to be a consumer of your product? Yeah. That's my question. So I danced around that question quite a lot. I phrase it differently, which is a conflict of interest and attention between making a lot of money and actually helping people. I mean, I've asked a lot of really heavy questions in that, and a lot of people wrote to me with support saying that was a really great conversation, and a lot of people wrote saying that, I mean, saying that it was just too soft. And I don't know, I think about that a lot. Like, how do you have that conversation? I don't think it was too soft. And actually, just for the record, I want to say that they didn't see any of the questions I'm asking. They didn't see the final interview. I can ask anything I want. And so any questions that I asked and failed to ask is my own shortcomings. Also, not being a coward, I was afraid of nothing. Like, what do I have to gain or lose exactly? Well, you have something to lose because if you're, I do, I always do softballs. Because if I'm going to make it difficult for someone to come to my show, a lot of people will be disincentivized to do the show. Because like, I don't need this. I see. Oh, yeah, I wasn't thinking like that. But I was, I don't like to, what I think some fraction of folks wanted me to do is to yell at a person, like, criticize them, not even ask questions, essentially. Yeah, yeah, how dare you? Yeah, but to me, my goal, my hope is with these conversations is not just to do how great you are and all that kind of stuff, is to bring out some deeper truth. The beautiful things is when you can together realize some truth, like you mentioned, that the incentive for everyone to take the vaccine is obviously high for the maker of a vaccine. And for them to arrive at that truth together, that is a really difficult truth to operate under. Like, for example, I had a whole exchange with him about, this is Jordan Peterson asked this question, I use that as a kind of springboard, which is the kind of open doors between the FDA, the CDC and Pfizer. Right, like some people work at Pfizer and then go to work at the FDA and then vice versa. And I brought up the idea of, like, this is my safe space, maybe yours too, just going back to the Soviet Union to look at the lessons of human nature and corruption. I said, like, there's two things, this looks bad, and two, this naturally leads to corruption. And I pushed this with several questions, but polite and respectful. And he ultimately said, you know, there's rules. We have to follow the rules. There's very strict rules about this, and we have to follow those rules, otherwise we get punished severely. And so like his responses, like people reacted to them as like, okay, that's the CEO doing the political, but there's also truth to what he's saying. That one of the beautiful things about America is that you can criticize the rule of law currently, but it's still is better than in the Soviet Union where people bribed each other. But still, he made it seem like there's no corruption. People often ask me why I describe myself as an anarchist and not a narcocapitalist, because they think my views are more in line with that school of anarchism. And one of the other reasons you just gave me a good one is that I'm not an anarchist, you just gave me a good one, is that if I am talking to someone who's a major CEO, I have that hardcore left anarchist view that this person is, if not the devil, certainly gonna be sinister, at the very least. And if you can't say, listen, this happens inevitably with elites, it's, you know, it happens in universities, it happens in the food industry, there's only so many people at the top of these things, the field is small, and everyone's gonna know each other, which is kind of, you know, just the dynamics of any market, that would kind of be more reasonable. And just say, it's easy to caricature us because you're not in the boardroom, but we're not, you know, we are trying to produce a product that people want. So unlike the people who criticized me, I was bothered by, I wasn't bothered by most things, but I was bothered by the fact that he didn't show more worry about the corrupting nature of money and power. Like, he should, if you say that there's no corruption, you should show that because we constantly worry about it. Right. Not because like, look, there's rules. Yeah, which are enforced by you. Yeah, exactly. So like, I think the only way to avoid force for time, the corrupting force of power is to freak out about it, nonstop. The impression I always get from people like him, and I haven't seen the interview and I won't be watching it, is they're genuinely convinced that they're good guys. Yeah. And if you're the good guy, sure corruption is a concern theoretically, but I know this guy at the FDA, I know this senator, sure we disagree, sure they do some things I don't like, but in terms of corrupt, they're not getting briefcases full of money, they're not gonna sell a vaccine that, you know, kills people in Georgia. So yeah, it's a concern theoretically, but this is the 21st century. The thought process, I think, writes itself. I think, yeah, having the humility, I do this all the time, maybe to a destructive level, thinking that I might be doing bad for the world, I might be wrong, I might be that kind of thinking is very, you should do at least some of that. Not to a point of being paralyzed, but a little bit. You're actually in the right mindset for me to ask you then for advice. Okay. You're in this compassionate, thoughtful mood, I like it. The compassionate, thoughtful Michael. So for future conversations like that, so the person that offered a conversation that at first I avoided, but I might return to is Anthony Fauci. So there's Anthony Fauci, but then there's also Trump and Biden, people like that. Like if you had them on your show or just giving me advice on how to talk to them, what do you think is the right way to talk to them? And forget about future guests, but like to get at something new, you know, together. Like get at something, not for views or likes or clicks or any of that, but discover something new through the mode of conversation. Well, like let's take those one at a time. So if I was talking to Trump, I told Ruben to ask Trump this and he didn't. What I wanted to know is what's the look on your face when you're sending these tweets, right? Because I imagine him on the toilet with his phone, right? Are you cracking yourself up? Are you just completely stoic? Are you kind of that Trump little smirk he does? Yeah. So when you get someone to open up about their emotion, about some of their passion, I think that breaks down some barriers and creates a bond. Yeah. But Ruben wouldn't be, that's not his style. Like that's a great question for you to ask. Well, I told him to say Michael Malice. Oh, Michael Malice. For Biden, that would be a tough one because Biden gets, doesn't get enough credit for what a good politician he is. There was this moment people can see on YouTube where Biden is addressing a room full of people and he had someone there and he goes, can you, why don't you stand up so everyone can give you a hand? And the guy was in a wheelchair and Biden's like, oh, and like, but instantly he goes, you know what, we're all going to stand up for you. And he made everyone get up and applaud the guy. I'm like, that's quick. Like, yeah, you made a fool of yourself. So he is a glad hander. In many ways, he's more of a schmoozer than Trump was. Like Trump made the point that he knows all the good people, but Biden knows how to shake hands. Well, I think with both, and sorry to interrupt, with both Trump and Biden, like you mentioned earlier, to me, at least their family is fascinating. The dynamic as a family man, as a father, as a... I think that Biden won't acknowledge his illegitimate grandkid is a problem for me. But at the same time, I can see why he thinks it's off limits to ask. So that's the thing when you're dealing with people that powerful, they're not used to having to answer questions, which might be perfectly nice, but would cause them to freak the hell out. That's the tricky thing of talking to people, as you know, like some, some topics are off limit, not in that they draw lines, but they just shut down when you ask them. Trust me, I think I talked to Elon three times now, you better believe I brought up love. And how far do you think that got? And you could just imagine exactly. We did exactly the kind of robot back and forth. And he just like just shut down. So yeah, I worry about that with the person. But that's the thing that makes it fascinating with those two, because he had with Hunter and losing his son, like the dynamic of the complexities of all that, like just having children fuck up in the way children do. And then with Trump, the interesting dynamic with his very different kids and all kind of interesting in different ways and maintaining connection with all of them and also letting them flourish individually is fascinating to me. Well, I also want to ask Trump if he can name all the presidents in order, which there's no, he can, but I'd also want to know all the, do you think he knows who the second president of the United States is? Yes. Okay. John Adams, he knows. I think when it gets between Ulysses S. Grant and McKinley, that's when we all screw up that window. It's tough. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sure that's the one window where he, I mean, he's not, he's going to be able to get back to FDR. No question. I have to, my sense was with Donald Trump, and this is not, I would say criticism is he doesn't have a depth of knowledge or more importantly, curiosity about history. Yeah. But if you're old enough, you're going to at least remember the presidents in your lifetime. In your lifetime. Yeah. Sorry. That's what I was saying. He'll get us from president to FDR pretty easily. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Sure. I thought you meant FDR from the other direction. No, no. Yeah. From like current FDR. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, from a political perspective, like having a conversation about politics with those two, there is interesting topics, interaction between Donald Trump and Putin, not the interaction, like not the stupid journalistic stuff, but it's clear to me that he is a student of power. Oh, for sure. And like he enjoys the game of power. Yeah. And so it's interesting because to me, the reason he admires Putin is it's another player in the game of power. And I think why so many people hate him, Trump, is that he demonstrated to a lot of Americans how much of a con job most of politics is and how people just say what they need to do. But behind closed doors, these people are buffoons and he exposed them as that. I'd also, so the Biden, I think Biden would be a tougher interview than Trump because I feel like Biden's more slippery in many ways. He's much more of a consummate politician. He's been in the Senate since the early seventies, since he was like 30 or 35, whatever it was. So, you know, he'd have his little kind of pat answers. There was Larry King, who was certainly a softball interviewer and I don't begrudge him that at all. I remember very vividly and it was like, I think it was the 2008 cycle. He asked Hillary, why do so many people hate you? Why do you think so many people hate you? And she just goes like, oh, well, I take tough stances on the, and he cut her off. He goes, other people have taken those stances. Why do they hate you? And she didn't really, I was really impressed with him that he didn't let her off the hook. That to me is great. But some people will say that's still too softball because you like, they would want him to start listing, I don't know, droning, like all the things that Hillary Clinton is criticized for. Yeah, but then what she, she's done this many times. She's very good at this. She'll be like, look, I've addressed all these in the past. If you want to start rehashing Republican talking points, you can go look up my interviews. Yeah, I think it's counterproductive. Yeah. So what about more prescient for me? I can't believe I'm walking through this fire for no good reason whatsoever, but Anthony Fauci. So let me tell you why I care about Anthony Fauci because I care a lot about science and the way science is viewed in society. And not to put it at the, at the feet of this one person, but I, him and certain members of the scientific community that was responsible for managing the response to COVID, I think are somewhat or entirely responsible for a significant decrease in trust in science. Yes, no question. In the past couple of years. There was a poll that just came out this week that said the number is just collapsed. And if you don't blame him for it, I personally blame him for not are, but just literally see there's something off here. There's something off here and I'm not going to participate in it. I'm going to defend these scientists because something off, first of all, You're always defending academia is disgusting. It's my favorite thing. I think that, first of all, this is going to sound like a joke and it's not, I bet you 90% of those MIT scientists are on the spectrum. So everyone they're going to meet is going to be off. Right? So I'm sure part of their brain is like, okay, this person's weird. This is just them being on the spectrum. Like the light spectrum. I couldn't even finish the joke. Okay. Number two is off. We, we tend to, there's this poem, I forget who wrote it. It was like Nick Cave or something. And it was describing like, I think it was Goebbels hair, normal height, normal weight, normal. What do you expect? Horns. Right? So when you meet someone, you think something's off, there's going to be a bell curve of what that could be. Right? It could be that they're twitchy or maybe they're completely asocial. And then you have Jeffrey Epstein over here. You're going to need a lot of evidence to be like, Oh, I feel something off there for this guy's the head of an international, you know, sex trafficking ring. So yeah, you might be like, okay. But at the same time, if their extended relationship is this guy is interested in my work, he's going to fund my work and I don't have to give him anything in return. He's clearly intelligent. He's appreciating it. And being a scientist is a thankless job. I, I know what it's like as an author. When I was writing Dear Reader, the North Korea book, my friends are sick of hearing all these North Korea anecdotes. Cause at a certain point it's like, okay, we got it. Just save it for the book. And you know, you gotta be in that lab. You're looking at the springtails, whatever it is you're looking at. No one knows what a springtail is. I just disagree with you. So that'd be interesting to draw a distinction between science and writing because the scientific process itself is fun as fuck. It's you're solving little puzzles. Sure. So like in itself, it's fun. So like it's rewarding. Like the reason you go into science is you can continue really without a boss to continue having fun and solving puzzles. That's, that's literally, so like, uh, unless you become cynical and tired of the whole thing. So the, the people, the administration, or when you're running a large lab and what you get sick of is the emails and the meetings and all that kind of stuff. The actual act of being in the lab is still fun as fuck. If you allow it to be writing, I feel like is there's more priority to publishing. Like, would you enjoy it? The tree falling in the forest, would you still enjoy any of the books you've written if they never got published? Not to the same extent, not even close. Right. I think that's the thing about science. It's almost like you get a peek into the mysterious. Yeah, but this is, okay, let me, this is where I'm coming from. Since moving to Austin, I've bought 150, over 150 plants. Look how you're doing the, the politician thing. Let me be clear. All right. It's not. Oh, you are running in 2024. This is very interesting. I bought 150 succulents from my house. They're, they're thriving here in Austin as they wouldn't have in Brooklyn. You have a great video about it. Yeah. One of those plants I have is the photo I took on my Instagram. There's no other photos on the whole internet. None of my friends care or they care like ostensibly, but like, oh, that's cool. Like I have a better plant collection in my house than like almost any botanical succulent collection than any botanical garden in America other than probably the Huntington and no one cares. This is what ego looks like, by the way. I was, I can prove it to you. No, I know, but you don't have to rub it in. Well, they have a big budget. I don't. So if I can put it together, they should be able to. Right. So I can only imagine that a scientist who studied, you know, those spiders that look like ants, like at a certain, like, oh, and this species does this with the gender dimorphism. Their friends are only going to care so much. So if you meet someone who has a lot of money, who now cares about ant spiders, it's going to be exciting. It will be very exciting. But I just wanted to push back on the, I think the act itself should be the biggest reward. I think you're always safe. We're talking about goodness being a safe default. I think it's a good default for plants and for writing and for science is to just enjoy the act, even if nobody cares. Okay. This is where this, okay. Now I'm even, now I'm wondering why I'm pushing back so hard and I realized what it was. Because I've made this point several times and I'm glad I can make it again. There's this window of time that happened in my life. And I know it happens to a lot of people when you're in your 24 to 27, 28. So 21 to 24, you still have your friends from college, so on and so forth. But then it's kind of like a poker game and every so often people cash out. They're like, I'm out, I'm out. They get married, they get a job, they move. And if you are someone who is a young, ambitious creative, that window is a very rough one because you're doing the right thing and you're not being a drug addict, you're not being a philanderer, not that those things are wrong, but just like you're playing by the rules. You're creating your stuff, what you want to be known for, contribution you want to make for the world. And no one cares and it gets very lonely. And there's this very emotional disconnect about how is it that I'm creating and I'm working hard and I'm making something happen and it's just radio silence. So that, I don't think it's that easy when you're, you're the scientist, not me, when you don't have any kind of external validation. Humans only have so much fuel. TITO Nothing worth having is easy, Michael. By the way, yesterday I talked on the phone with a person who said he was deeply moved the first time you mentioned this age group of 24 to 27. He's like, he, he's 26, he said, and he feels the full responsibility of that and the excitement. So he left his like corporate typey job to pursue something that he's really passionate about. And that, that, that was like, you were an inspiration to him, which I was deeply saddened by that. MICHAEL I also inspired Michael Alex. TITO The, the, the, the amount of mass murder, those that were inspired by you will eventually lead to is, is truly horrifying. What were we talking about? So Jeffrey Epstein, oh, one thing I wanted to ask you. So let's put scientists aside. What about like world leaders? Bill Clinton, your favorite person. Why would he fly with Jeffrey Epstein? Why would he interact with that guy? MICHAEL I mean, don't you think that that's kind of the deal that I'm the president and I get big and powerful people flying around their jets and that's the symbiotic relationship. TITO Yeah, but don't you also have a good BS detector? Like don't you have a good detector for people who just want to be in your presence? Like I already understand that there's people like this out there. Like there's people that kind of want to use me for stuff. And you mean Tim Dylan, Tim Dylan. Um, TITO I love that guy. You guys met? MICHAEL We haven't met yet here. TITO We haven't met. Okay. Wow. MICHAEL We met before in New York, but we had not since I moved here. TITO Yeah. So you should be able to detect that there's those people and there's the people that have kindness in their heart, even if they can benefit from the interaction with you, but they have like, they're good human beings. I feel like you want to, you run into a lot of trouble if you surround yourself or have any people that are manipulative like that. MICHAEL But I think you make a bad example. Cause like, let's look at Clinton and let's look at Obama, right? So Obama, even though their politics are very close, I'd say in many ways, Obama is apparent. We don't know. I don't know either of them, but to me it seems very apparent that he's very similar behind closed doors as he in front of the camera. TITO Yeah. He's, he's Barack to me. MICHAEL Oh, yeah. Yeah. TITO He's good. MICHAEL Clinton seems very clearly to be much more of a performer. He's in front of the cameras, he puts on a role, but behind the cameras, he very much has a temper. He's known for that. He's much more of a lech. TITO What's that? MICHAEL A pervert. TITO Oh, lech with an E? MICHAEL L E T C H. Yeah. TITO Oh, cool. Lech. Is that like a, that's a cool term. So I can use that on the internet. Like you're a lech. MICHAEL Yeah, you can use it on the internet. TITO You're a dirty lech. MICHAEL Well, it's dirty is implied. TITO Oh, so it's okay. Being redundant. MICHAEL Yeah. TITO But it just feels like he needs an adjective to give it more power. Anyway, I'm sorry. So Clinton is a lech. MICHAEL Right. So you can see how there's people who want to meet, you know, the surface Bill Clinton and I'm sure that gets old for him because he has to be on. But then there's the good old boys where he could be a pervert and this guy's like, yeah, I know what it's like. And then he feels like he's himself. But I'm all, we're all speculating. I mean, I don't know what Bill Clinton is like, what was in it for him. He certainly had, could afford private jets if he wanted to. There's no shortage of people who want to fly around the world to give speeches, you know. TITO Can he satisfy the lech within, without hanging out with the Jeffrey Epstein's of the world? Like, can't he get, I mean, this is the Monica Lewinsky question to me. I'm confused by all of this. Can he get TITO women in the legitimate way of like not using his power, not hanging out with these shady rich people, but just like having a normal mistress like JFK had? MICHAEL Well, JFK had a lot. TITO I know. I understand that. But in a normal way, or I don't, I don't know enough. improving the problem. And so there's definitely would be a harsh conversation there to be had. And I think I want to have it, but how do you do it? It's tough. Yeah. Because, you know, again, politicians, there's political answers. If they get too frustrated too quickly, they will not explore these difficult things with you. They'll just shut down. But then if you say too many nice things, because I should also say Anthony Fauci is an incredible career. Like there's several hours worth of conversation to be had about how amazing of a person he is. Well, I would also be curious about the AIDS stuff. Yes. Because that's something gets criticized about and I wouldn't come at it aggressively. I would say, let's set the record straight. This is some of the criticism you get, blah, blah, blah. Your role in the AIDS crisis. Let's talk about this. And this is something that is important part of American history. There was a pandemic, but it was localized to certain populations. And that population at the first, at least, was pretty much told goodbye and good luck. You're going to have to deal with this. So how did you deal with that? I mean, were you scared of getting AIDS? You know, so on and so forth. But also there was that comment when, and correct me if I'm wrong, I'm not a Fauci expert, when he basically, they told people not to wear masks or they lied about it to some extent, because they said then people are going to run out of them or something like that. And they admitted they were being inaccurate. I would nail him on that. Like, let's address this. Were you being dishonest? Is there sometimes when it's important to be dishonest in service of whatever? Also, I would ask him how, as someone who's not a politician, whether his level of fame and adulation has gotten to his head. How do you have a perspective when, and how does it feel when a sitting Senator tells you that you should be imprisoned? Do you think Ted Cruz means it, or you think Ted Cruz is just playing to his base? Yeah, I like the fame one. I would love to sneak up. I mean, that question applies to you too. The question applies to me. When you start getting more fame or money or power, are you aware of how that changed you? And like explore that. Like, how has that changed you? Like if you, like in the privacy of your mind, Michael Malice, like how did you change now that you've gotten more attention, let's say, or even the success of the book? Like, is it, like, take yourself back to the, you know, you talk about the early 20s, the mid 20s person. How are you different from that person? Are you the same person or are you totally different? That's an interesting thought. Is Putin the same person in 2020 as he was in 2010 and then in 2000? It's a non trivial, almost like. And then the other thing with Fauci is this is the dynamic system. Like on the one hand, he's going to want to say we got it right every time, right? But then how is that even possible when you're dealing with an evolving, unknown, dynamic situation? When did you guys get it wrong? Did that result in lives lost? Do you feel guilty about that? I mean, the big problem with the masks, the changing of mind on the mask is the arrogance in how it was communicated. To me, a lot of this boils down to how things are communicated. It's like, it's obvious that you need to change your mind when you get new information or sometimes, yeah, you take policies that are like, we know the truth, but we're going to lie for a particular reason. Like you have good intentions, but if you're not able to communicate that later, like we made a mistake. Or even ask him, can you understand how a rational person might choose not to get vaccinated? Yes. Yes. Yes. And if he can't steel man that, then that's a situation. That's a good test. And I've tried, and some people succeed and some people fail. The ability to really steel man the other, understand that somebody should, would be hesitant about taking the vaccine. Yeah. It's a giant mess, man. This podcasting is, it's just a fun little conversation, but there also is a responsibility. I don't know. I don't know how Joe does it. I don't think Joe cares as much as you do. It's more fun for him in a sense. And he's less concerned about the, I mean, he's not unconcerned with the cultural impact, but for him, it's just more broing out. Yeah. Like he doesn't do as much prep. He doesn't come in with three pages, single space to, you know, questions. Yeah. And that's why he's talking to Blair White for 10 minutes about whether sharks lay eggs without knowing. You're the one triggered person. He did. Maybe he trolled the troll. Well, it worked. Yeah, he did. The sharks lay eggs. I'd like to get an updated 2021 version of Michael Malice giving advice to young people. Okay. So there's, God forbid, high school students, college students, listening to you and looking to you for advice. What advice would you give them about career and about life? How to live a life they can be proud of. This happens a lot. Cause I have my locals community malice.locals.com and there's a lot of young people on there. So that's a great place. I'll give them a meta piece of advice. Don't ask your friends for advice because you're an idiot at your age and they're all idiots and they don't want to seem like idiots. So they're just going to give you advice. They pulled it from the TV and no one knows that you're talking about and it's just going to be counterintuitive. So seek out advice from people who you seek to emulate and ask them for advice. If you can't get ahold of them, figure out a way to get ahold of them. Incentivize them in some way. You'd be surprised how many people are responsive on Twitter or in social media if you just asked them a basic life question. Cause then they can quote tweet an answer to a whole population. So that would be one mechanism. It's also very hard at that age to realize your parents might not be all that bright and they might not be all that good people. So that's a hard one at that age to kind of wrap your head around. Just cause they love you doesn't mean they understand you. And that's okay. That's, that's okay. We thank everybody. Shit, your Trump's pretty good too. I, I, I'd like your Trump, your Trump to talk to Elon, to have a conversation. Well, Mr. President, you know, look, uh, some things you did like some, not so much, but you know, for the most part, I think they're kind of a good thing. What are you talking about? Um, hey guys, what are you, what are we talking about? No, I fuck, I fucked up the Lex. Anyway, so those would be two pieces. The other piece of advice I would say is join a gym or have some kind of quantifiable daily improvement to keep you sane. So the reason I always say weightlifting and it could be, uh, running, it can be jump rope. I don't care what it is because if you have those numbers moving in the positive direction, psychological, if you're dealing with depression or anxiety, it's concrete proof to shut your brain up because your brain knows how to talk to you. Your brain is often your enemy. And I'll say exactly the right thing to undermine you. So that's an issue. Um, and I think that's a good thing. So that's an issue. Um, be, I just, this works for me. Maybe it worked for most people. I'm very high on the openness metric. Uh, try new experiences, new things, try things you don't like. It's okay to have a bad experience. You've learned something. So go to a restaurant of a cuisine you wouldn't like or hadn't heard of, read a book that's popular, but you have no interest in, um, read a lot. For example, I didn't know anything about the, uh, election. What was it? 1892 when there was like a split between the electors, read a book about it. Oh, I don't know anything. You know, I don't know anything really about Malcolm X. Read a book about him. Uh, you'll be amazed how much more full you become as a person. Do you see value in writing also, like writing down your ideas? No, I think there's very little value in that. I'm not being, I'm not joking. So reading is where the biggest. Yeah. Cause you're probably not going to revisit what you've written down. Um, but the act of writing, you don't, you don't see it solidify somehow thoughts in your mind. Not for me. It doesn't feel like a tweet. Well, cause then it's, then I have to have it narrowed down into like a phrase or the responsibility of there being an audience. No, I just meant in terms of I've got two 80 characters. So instead of having a reandering thought, meandering thought, I have to codify it in something that's catchy and short. That's a good, useful mental exercise. What face do you make when you tweet? I wouldn't know. I don't know. That's a good point. Is it on the toilet? How much, what percentages on the toilet? Very little on the toilets. I usually more reading. Okay. Um, so even though my tweets are all literally shit, uh, there are a few of them are on the toilet. Um, that's some advice. Um, don't compare yourself to other people. That's a really dangerous one. All my friends are married. I should have, I should have a kid by now. Should there's an expression in recovery. Stop shooting yourself. But it's, but it should, should, should. It's stupid. I also, and this could be my hoarder brain. I surround my house with talismans of joy. So if you have an accomplishment, like when I did Rogan once, I bought with the sock store and I bought these orange socks with black cherries on them. And now whenever I wore that socks, those socks, I'm like, Oh, this is cause I was on Rogan. That was kind of a big deal. So if you have these little things throughout your house, it's good mental fuel, even like, like a toy. Remember when I was a kid, Oh, you know what, this little moments that inspire happiness, I think are visually very useful. Um, so that's another one. Um, and I, by the way, have the, that the watch and, um, that cause we're talking about 2021. That was really, um, the guy in the lecture hall giving you a pat in the back, Joe giving me the, the watch was, um, he has life changing from, yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't even, I didn't, the fact that it was on a podcast or whatever, it doesn't matter. Learn how to, um, form boundaries. That's probably the biggest, that's going to be number one on my list because you're going to have people around you who feel the need that they're entitled to your time, who feel the need to criticize you and they're not coming from a good place. So it's very good for you to be like, I'm not interested in talking about this anymore right now. Yeah. Even if it's your parents, even if it's your, especially if it's your parents, like I need my space right now, you're entitled to your space. You're entitled to your time. No one knows yours. You don't owe anyone a response. If someone has a question, you don't owe them an answer, especially if they're not coming at you in good faith or they're coming in a hostile way. Um, that's a big one. Uh, it's hard to learn at that age. Um, and, um, and, and be valuable to those who are around you, be someone who people are happy to see. And if things are bad, like you're the one that they can rely on. Like I was just, uh, you know, a little bit under the weather and I thought to myself, you know what, if things got really bad, I'll call Blair and she's, she would take care of me. And that kind of was very reassuring. Yeah. And you can always call me if you have your stuff lifted in, in a, in an urgent matter. Because of the robots? No, just me. It's just kind of like, there's those things I can help with. Or you're actually literally bleeding. I'm not a good caretaker. I can save you though. I can murder. If you need somebody murdered. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, wait, what advice would you have to kids that age? And you're all, you're a lot younger than you think you are. That's the other one. Like, Yeah, there's time. I know. Like it's impossible to understand when you're 26 that your 40s are better than your 30s. Cause it's like, okay, old man, you're, that's all cope. I promise you it is. Yeah. I think, uh, you said so many beautiful things. I would say I would say another version of the openness. I would say take big risks when you're young. Yeah. Cause if you fail, who cares? You're sleeping in a suit. It's not in a futon. Who cares? And take them often. Yeah. I also, this is more a little personal to me. I get pushback on this, but I think take big risks and work really hard. Like at whatever you do. Like, I think you just have to give yourself to a thing. It doesn't have to be in terms of time, but really give everything. So it's not like I'm going to try doing this. I'll try, I'll try, try with all your heart. Like really commit yourself. That doesn't mean necessarily hours. That doesn't mean, but like if you fail at doing a thing that you commit to, it should hurt. So like, uh, when I competed in Jiu Jitsu, or you do like sports and so on, don't just say, I'm going to have fun out there. So on. No, try to win. And because then if you don't, it hurts and you learn from that. Um, and then throughout, I think this, the goodness thing is be kind. It's like, some of it is also a skill, allowing yourself to be kind. I found myself earlier in life. I still do this. I find like when I hang out with people, people are often like cynical and negative. And yeah, I try to avoid those people. No, but like, I think everybody falls into that. And sometimes it's the party norm thing. There's a temptation to me to kind of fit in by being more negative than I'm comfortable being. And so, um, resist the pressure. I think, especially when you're younger, it's not cool to care. The thing that drives, when you're young, if you are a fan of a band, a writer, a podcaster, an actor, and people roll their eyes at you, watch out. Those people are dangerous. You should have it. If you love Avril Lavigne with her terrible music and she makes you, gives you joy and people crap on you, they're wrong and you're right. So hold on to those things that make you happy. And if people want to take that away from you or they, how can you like that? Those people are not your friends. LLOYD Why do you have to go make life so complicated? She's my favorite, favorite musician of all time. Jimi Hendrix II, Avril Lavigne first. Thank you for almost bringing a tear to my eye. You mentioned the shittos in terms of love and you should have kids by now. I apologize if it's a personal one, but I think at least I have this thought and not from society, but for myself. Like I want to get married. I want to have kids. Do you feel the pressure of that? Do you want to have kids? LLOYD I just don't want to have kids. I do want to get married. This was an issue that I had to kind of work out earlier this year in terms of the possibility of having kids. Cause I was in a relationship with someone who would have been in many ways, literally a perfect mom. So I did my due diligence and I actually sat down with friends of mine who had kids and I say, give me the downside. LLOYD You did the pros and the cons. LLOYD The pros I knew. The pros for kids are very, I love kids. I was just with Frank Fleming. He writes for the Babylon Bee and he had his four kids and his youngest son has Down syndrome, which is adorable. Winchester is so cute. And I always get along with kids very well. Like I remember very vividly what it was like to be a kid, especially a precocious kid. And I remember how much it bothered me when my parents friends wouldn't give me attention. So I always make it a point to acknowledge kids, to talk to them and they're very grateful. And it's just really fun. Especially the people who I'm friends with, their kids are probably going to be pretty cool. They're not going to be annoying and kind of ugly and overweight. So I love you got that in there. Okay, good. Sorry, I'll go. But the cons, the negatives, what was the conversation like about that? My sister has two kids, my nephews who I absolutely adore, whatever their names are. And she was saying certain things. It's like, if I had kids, my kids are in my top priority. Yeah. Like it's not even a question. And I feel like the work I'm doing, and this sounds pompous, but it's true, is a valuable and important, but I'm also the only one doing it. So this is a big cost. And so it's like, it would be a major lifestyle readjustment. And I'm at the point where I'm kind of like selfish enough that I wouldn't want to do that. And also would have to be with the right woman. Like you're making a commitment. And since they're all crazy, you have to find one where you can handle the crazy. All women are crazy? Yeah. There are one and a halfs in a binary world. Oh, boy. Yeah. It's not comfortable for me. But do you feel the pressure and thinking of that? How much does that weigh on your heart? Like, so Elon has kids. I feel like I love everything. And I love stuff I do. I love the robot over there. Just working with robots. But I do feel the pressure of like, almost like when there's amazing cuisines you never tried or something like that, like go out there and try it. Like you need to put in the work and I don't know. Like life will run away from you, slip through your fingers before you truly get to experience this other kind of love, which is like long term love for another human being, which is like marriage and then love for kids. Yeah. And it almost makes me sad, like not getting to experience that. You know, because I'm also really scared of, I've seen so many bad stories on the partner side, like being with the wrong person. Right. That to me is, I'm not worried. I have kids all day. In fact, I could probably just have kids without the partner. Kids I think are incredible. But the partner, like a wife, it seems like she could then have the negative consequences for like you as a writer on your productivity and your mental ability to flourish, being a joy to others, to all those kinds of things. You know what? That couldn't happen because every relationship I've had, they've been very beyond supportive. Like they'd rather do the, take an hour and do your work than spend time with me. Like I believe in what you're doing. So I couldn't even casually date someone who didn't believe that. Yeah. So that's energizing. Yes. But over time, you never know like how that evolves and all those kinds of things. And for me, I think we're a little bit different. I mean, that has to do with the engineering thing. I just have to pull insane hours. I work like two hours a day. But that's what like creatives do. Like you can only work a couple hours, honestly, to be productive and the rest of the time not. I have to do a lot of menial labor. And so there, there's legit tension on terms of time and attention, all those kinds of things. I don't know. Do you think about this stuff a lot or do you just love life and do cool stuff and whatever happens, happens? I have been so blessed for so long now that I'm at the point where I don't think about it and I'm like, you know, just like miracles happen every day. So just be open to it. You think about your death, mortality? Yes. Fear? What do you feel about it? I'm just worried. I want to take as many people out with me as possible. So suitcase nuke, suitcase nuke, I'm thinking. Yeah. In New York, that would be kind of like ironic as my other favorite artist. I think about my legacy and that's why my books are so important to me. So do you think of it as a kind of immortality? It is though. Like that's who you are, is those books. Well, it's not who I am, but my legacy certainly is. What do you hope your legacy is? That I encourage people to be hopeful and that I taught them how to be free. And you know, my favorite, I think the best show of all time was Dallas, which often gets, it was like an 80s soap opera and people conflate it with dynasty and they think it's trashy and it was very Shakespearean because all the characters are motivated by different values and the writing is just masterful and the acting is masterful. And I'm not going to spoil anything. One season ended with one of the characters on their deathbed in the hospital and the whole cast is there and the amount of acting talent in that room is just phenomenal. And as the character is dying, they look around and they go, like, please be kind to one another, be a family. And they're yelling at this character, don't you dare die on me, you know? And you could see the actors, you know, cause they're losing their castmate who they've had from the beginning. And it would have been a perfect ending to the show, but obviously it's a cash cow. They got to keep milking it. And I think that like kindness and tenderness, and this is Michael Malice talking, it's, there's a lot of people who want to make it that if you are kind or tender, you're going to have consequences, bad consequences. And I think it's important, for me at least, to create a space in my life that if someone is going to be nice or friendly or kind, that they're not going to have to feel stupid or bad about it. It's, we have such a, it's such a disincentive, the set of structures are different. Like if you want to be cynical and sneering, like round of applause, but if someone says, oh, this is great, like, okay, simp, it's, it's really bad. Well, I think you do just this. You do this today. You do this in our friendship and you do it for a very large number of people is teach them how to be, how to have hope and teach them and teach them how to be free. So, thank you so much for talking to me. Thank you so much for being an inspiration. I love you, brother. I love you. Thanks for listening to this conversation with Michael Malice. To support this podcast, please check out our sponsors in the description. And now let me leave you with some words from Albert Camus. Don't walk in front of me. I may not follow. Don't walk behind me. I may not lead. Walk beside me. Just be my friend. Thank you for thank you for listening and hope to see you next time. MICHAEL I don't understand the Clinton psychology. First of all, the fact that you're hooking up with someone who's close to your daughter's age, to me, I think is inherently disturbing. But she's an adult. So okay, that's not that, that, you know, beyond the pale. But also the idea that, oh, if I don't physically fornicate with you, it's not cheating. Like that, whatever you tell yourself, or like, if I don't ejaculate, it's not cheating. Like these rules that TITO And it maybe leads to some kind of slippery slope, like you start not having the rules of MICHAEL Who you fool? I mean, if you told your wife, like, listen, it wasn't cheating. She only, you know, performed on me. You're going to say this with a straight face? Like, do you, at a certain point when something is so brazen, you wonder if the person even has to believe it because who are you fooling? TITO But like, we started this, this conversation with, there is a line between young women older than 18 and young teen, like 12, 13 kids. MICHAEL Have you ever, when's the last, oh, because you're, it's different for you because you're at MIT. I was hanging out with Blair White, and she had a couple of fans with her, of hers, and they were like 22, 23. And they were like children to me. Like, I'm like, to me, as someone who is in his late 60s, to look at these people as adults, like, they look completely like kids. So TITO Now, of course, there's exceptions. Like, I've interacted with a young 20 year olds that are like, you're way more mature than I'll ever be. Like, the wisdom that comes out of them is quite fascinating. MICHAEL Visually, the energy and the way they look, they looked so young to me and the way they carried themselves. It was the idea that my instinct was let's tuck you in and read you a bedtime story, not let me like touch you or something. It was just like, it just went into my head. So there's, but the thing is, is it possible that in order to want to be the president, you have to be a crazy person? TITO That you have some kind of weird view on power. It could be a power thing too. Like, you can get away with stuff. MICHAEL Like, if I was Clinton's age, nothing about Monica Lewinsky to me would be attractive. And also, I would just feel bad for her because I know she's going to catch feelings. And it's kind of like, it's just like, why would I do this to this kid? For what? Just because I want to get some like momentary pleasure? Come on. TITO Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm sure she looked gorgeous to him in the moment. Well, let me ask, we started talking about beauty. Who are you wearing? MICHAEL So as a model, you usually don't have a shirt on when you're modeling. So it's nice to see you dressed up today. Nice and warm. TITO This is because, so for those who don't know, Russians don't celebrate Christmas, obviously with the Soviet Union, Christmas was illegal. MICHAEL No Thanksgiving, basically no major holidays where everyone gets together. This is the one holiday, New Year's. It's the one holiday. TITO I remember as a kid, instead of Santa Claus, we have Ded Moroz, who's the same thing, basically. MICHAEL It's like Android and iPhone. It's like a cheap version of Christmas. TITO He's got this girl with him. She's like Snow White or whatever. And Russian kids, they go to sleep on December 31st and they wake up January, they have a present under their pillow. And I remember as a kid, this happened once and it just blew my mind. You know what I mean? It's just like, I went to bed, my dad's like, oh, you know, you're going to have, Ded Moroz is going to bring you a present if you've been a good kid. I'm like, I think I was a good kid. But you don't even remember a year of your life when you're four. MICHAEL You remember those moments. TITO Yeah. And then I woke up and there was a present under my pillow and it just blew my mind. And that building is still there, 1461 Sherwood Parkway in Brooklyn. And it's just also funny, like, what I really like about kids, you know, being an uncle now is kid logic, because they have very little data, but they're using logic to make sense of it. And sometimes it gives them the completely wrong conclusions for the completely right reasons. I remember, you know, my bedroom as a kid was right off the kitchen and I'd be scared of the dark a little bit. So they'd leave the light on the kitchen while I went to sleep. And at the same time, my parents had told me, you don't leave the lights on the house. It costs money, it wastes electricity. Right? So I would be worried because I'm like, oh, my God, my parents leave the lights on the kitchen all night and now it's costing them so much money. Not realizing that, you know, five minutes after I'm out, obviously they're turning the lights off. But like in my kid logic, this was a concern of mine. Yeah. And memories work that same way. I have a collection of memories that are stitched together logically somehow, but they also don't really make sense. There's a few defining things. So I grew up in Russia and experienced a lot of New Year's in Russia. There's a lot of incredible things about that tradition that just warms my heart. So one, as a kid, you mentioned these kind of stories. That's the one night of the year that kids are allowed to be adults in the following way. Like in kid logic, you're allowed to stay up all night. Oh, yeah. Okay. That was as late as you want, which actually ends up being, you're not used to it. Right, you're out. You crash. But no, you get to, you know, two, three, four at night, you stay up and what you get to witness is almost like Alice in Wonderland goes into this world. Yeah. You get to witness what is the adult world really like. Now, obviously it's not an actual adult world. A lot of drinking and fighting. A merriment, like laughing, fighting, arguing, but also like in our case, like singing and like, yeah, arguing, like philosophical stuff, but also like, if I may, how would I describe it? This is also probably a little bit of Russian culture, but like flirtation in all of its forms, meaning like men and women just being like, cause they dress up. Yeah, yeah. It's like, it's joy. It's like you get to show off like dresses, whatever you got, you show it off. This is fun. And then men too, just like friends laughing, like arguing, just showing off the best they got with delicious food. Obviously that there's a Thanksgiving element there where there's just so many, just you bring out all the traditional stuff. The, yes, salad, just everything, just the full thing with the desserts and obviously the vodka, a lot of vodka. And at the time, so this is the Soviet Union, like the biggest stuff, and this is so sad that these are the things that I remember is like Coca Cola. Oh yeah. Like American, like that, I would probably kill somebody for a Dr. Pepper. It's so fascinating that you take it for granted, sort of the results of capitalist society, the material things that are created, but that was the ultimate happiness is to experience this new thing, sugar. I don't know. Under scarcity you just love it. There's like communist Coca Cola in Czech Republic. So basically they tried to rip off Coke and it's just like, they just threw whatever they could together and it was a very poor knockoff, as you can imagine. I forget what it's called and all the Czech people right now are getting very angry at me because I can't think of it, but they have it now and the slogan is good or weird. So it's like this, so they kind of reclaimed this kind of hipster soda. Oh, that's awesome. It's almost like a parody. That's right. Yeah. But I think the thing I really remember is the camaraderie, like the love for each other and neighbors too. Like you and I are neighbors now. We don't see each other that often. I hope that changes, but a lot of it is also me. I'm just a deep introvert. You're also the hardest working person I know. Yeah. So it's time, but it's not like I'll go in the middle of the night at like 4 AM and go to 7 11 and just sit there sipping a Slurpee for an hour thinking about life. So it's not like I'm always working. Yeah, I don't know. What I mean is you get to meet your neighbors and you get to experience their highs and their lows and you get to bitch about life, about government, about corruption, about the unfairness of life together. Well, it's also I think what people don't appreciate as Americans is it's very rare in Russia to have a safe space. Yeah. So you know that January 1st, no one's going to snitch on you. They're not going to be informants probably. So you can vent and that's the thing with people in totalitarian countries. You have to have the public facing persona and then behind closed doors is very different. It all comes out. And I also remember the arguments and I've been going on Clubhouse recently into Russian rooms just to practice Russian. And it's so beautiful to watch. I mean, Clubhouse is a very specific collection of Russian people. Maybe it's a little bit political and they're a little bit older. And it's interesting to watch how much they love to argue. They love to argue. And so it would be literally, you could think of it as a nonlinear dynamical system, okay, from an engineering perspective. Whenever any positive topic comes up, you could feel the skepticism and then wait a minute, this is not good. And they'll start perturbing it until they'll find some way to say, come on now, that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. And then it goes back into argument. It's so fun to watch because in one sense, you could see it as negative. In another, you could see it as free to express yourself because it feels like you can solve a lot of problems by allowing yourself to just be emotional, both emotional and say hard truth and all those kinds of things without patting yourself on the back about it. But also it just sort of those Russian rooms make me realize how constrained American speech is, how careful people are in the way they express it. Even the Michael Malice's in the world, you're constantly being nuanced. There they just say crazy shit and then they correct themselves and make fun of themselves and they completely shift opinions a minute later. And it's chaos. I mean, it's beautiful. So I love that that culture is, it's funny given the current regime in Russia, like how that's coupled with how people are talking and yeah, I don't know. And I have those memories of childhood of friends that I had of just having that true freedom of talking. And somehow that leads to deep bonds together. When the life, when you're poor, when life has a lot of elements that are unfair, when the government is corrupt, there's sort of, it's just, especially in the Soviet Union, there's uncertainty about the future. All of it, you just get closer together. Like penguins huddling together in the cold, like that March of the Penguins movie. I don't know. The friends I've gotten there, like I get emotional every time I kind of think about those friends because it was so close. That friendship was so fucking close. But I just really hate the Russian cynicism. No, I know you do. And I actually disagree with you about it. You see it as cynicism. I see it as waves on top of the water, like surface cynicism and the depths as I see the beauty of the Russian soul. So yes, that cynicism can negatively affect a lot of people. I think you've talked about, like as a parent, being cynical about the world and then you have dire negative consequences on your children. They become cynical. They don't ever take big risks, they take on bold things. And I have those arguments because the cynicism is exhausting. It's destructive. It's anti creative. But so in their perspective is, this is what the Russian folks would say, well, yes, that's our role. Like being cynical is being reasonable about the world. But it's not. It's completely unreasonable. It's a complete lie. I know. But their argument is, yes, but we're giving you this force and it's your job to resist against it. So it's a test. I love the idea that if you're going to be creative and innovative, you don't have enough up against you. Yeah, exactly. This is exactly it. It's not hard enough already that I want to be an author. Now you got to be like, well, let me just put some fire ants on top of it. So I just want to separate, I agree with you that the cynicism is bad and destructive, but the idea that life is suffering and thinking from that as a first principle, I think there's a lot of beauty to be discovered through that. So there's a cynicism and then there's a horrible message. Life is suffering? Well, yeah. I mean, Camus. Camus doesn't think that. Now we're going into definitions of suffering then because absurd. Life is absurd and life is suffering are not even close to the same concept. Well, then you're just defining the terms differently. Well, that's because they're different terms. Well, so is love and beauty, but let's define terms. You're selling if your baby's in the crib, like with a fever and you're like, oh, that's absurd. No, it's the kids suffering. It's not the same. So yes, starvation, you've been for the white pill researching a lot of actual specifically defined suffering. Sure. But also a lot of wonderful things. Right. Yeah. But the word suffering can encompass more than just specifically starving. And it can encompass like a lot of the philosophers talk about it. It encompass like philosophical suffering. The fact that if you're not careful, life can appear meaningless. You can fall into a nihilistic view. It's difficult to have the responsibility of freedom to act in this world because you can fuck up in so many different ways. And then life is seemingly unfair in the sense that good things happen for no apparent reason and terrible things happen for no apparent reason. Like, you know, it's the old religious question of why does evil happen in the world? Why do terrible things happen in the world? There's this book called Six Word Memoirs, right? Where all these different personalities. Those are awesome. Were you in it? No. I'm in it with, so you had to basically write your autobiography in six words. Six words. And mine was good things happen to bad people. You see, there you go. There's humor. Yes. That's your way of dealing with the suffering. But I don't think life is inherent. If life was suffering, we wouldn't be able to have happiness. No. Out of suffering, happiness is born. So like, it's the ups and downs of life. And what it means like... I don't agree at all that you need to suffer in order to be happy. I agree you have to work hard, but that's not the same thing. Yeah, all right. So the way I'm using suffering, and I think a lot of them use suffering, is the way you use like gravity. So in order for the roller coaster to work, you need gravity. There needs to be a force that bring you down. Sure. In that same way, there's like, you have to resist the natural pull of nature that wants to destroy you. No, nature wants you to... Nature isn't different, but we have the capacity because we're blessed with minds and we're blessed with friends. Yeah, to transcend nature. Yeah, I know, but I think it's a word that captures something about life that there's no reason to it, that is absurd. I think to me, oftentimes the way I think about the word suffering is synonymous with absurdity. This is not suffering, but this is absurd. I just noticed there's a box with a big bow on it next to you. What's in the box, Michael? It's your present. So it's your present for New Year's. Can we open it? Yeah, sure. What's in the box? And you brought up suffering. This is going to be very unpleasant. Here you go. I packed it myself. Yeah, there's a whole process in there. So there's three presents in there. Lex, I'll read the card first. Okay. Something about opening presents, like tearing stuff, makes me feel like, because like I just tore the sheet of paper, so it'll never be the same again. It's entropy. It's entropy. Time is... You've got a powerful voice. You've got a powerful voice to Lex. Thank you. Maybe I should read the other card first. You've got a powerful voice. Listening to what you have to say always puts me in a hopeful place. I feel like this is building up to something. You show me how change can happen when you face the world with pride, confidence, and a voice that can't be silenced. Keep speaking up. The world is listening. Yeah, there's no cynicism in this card. No, this is about... This is New Year's. This is all about hope and joy. Love. To Lex. I'm seeing the binary. To Lex, thank you for setting the path for me to move to Austin. 0 1 0 0 1 0 0 1 0 1 1 0 1 1 0 0 0 1 1 1 0 1 0 1. Michael Malice. Yeah. Brings tears to my eyes. Thank you, brother. My pleasure. Let's get to the present. Okay. It's a PC box. This is very promising. It better not be sex toys. I swear to God. There's nothing inappropriate at all. Why would it? Why would sex toys be inappropriate? That's sex positive. Because you're a virgin. You gotta bring a knife to a party. How clever is it to put it in a PC box? Well, I had it. I just got a new PC. Okay. Get this also canned. Get this also canned. Yeah. Open the can first. Open the can. Do you wrap this yourself? That scared the shit out of me.

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