第 319 期·中文精讀

博特茲姐妹:國際象棋、直播與名氣

Botez Sisters: Chess, Streaming, and Fame

姐妹棋手講述如何把國際象棋做成直播內容,談網路成名後的壓力、性別話題與棋類運動的推廣。

官方音訊00:00 / --:--
中文精讀由 AI 基於原始訪談改寫,非官方翻譯,可能存在偏差或錯誤;表述以原音訊與官方文稿為準。說明

Andrea Botez 的等級分卡在 1900 上,卡了三年。

高中那會兒,她每天訓練六個小時,比後來任何一個時期都刻苦。1930,1940,贏幾盤,輸幾盤,又掉回去。像有個蓋子焊在頭頂。

後來疫情來了,比賽全停。兩年沒碰正式比賽。復出後的第一場錦標賽,她幾乎沒做準備,賽前還在做直播、拍 vlog、和粉絲見面聊天。結果她一路贏了平均等級分比她高 200 分的對手,一口氣漲了 70 分,越過 2000,打出了個人最好成績。

我高中時每天學六個小時,三年都沒過那條線。這場我沒怎麼準備,反而過了 70 分。(Andrea Botez)

她說這話時笑了一下。坐在對面的姐姐 Alexandra 接過話頭:“你不再那麼在意結果的時候,棋反而下得更好了。”

這句話聽起來像雞湯。但接下來兩個小時的對話會告訴你,它不是。

義大利、丟失的行李,和一次失敗的度假

採訪一開始聊的是旅行。姐妹倆剛從義大利回來,行程是這樣的:出發前只訂了第一晚的酒店,租了一輛車,一週多的時間橫掃五座城市。

Andrea 的行李在途中丟了,再也沒找回來。她的第一反應是崩潰,然後是解脫:整個旅程不用拖著一個超重行李箱在威尼斯的窄巷和渡船上爬上爬下,沒有 Uber,沒有電梯。那是她人生中第一次不托執行李旅行。

我從小到大都有過度打包的毛病。丟行李這件事挺戲劇化的,但對我來說真的是很大的一課。(Andrea Botez)

Alexandra 說她自己也一樣,兩個人各帶了一個根本用不上的巨型箱子。她們一路上在佛羅倫薩、在懸崖邊的海灘公路上開著一輛大麵包車,對面來車就要慢慢錯身。義大利的雙向車道,寬度其實只夠單向。

開車幾乎耗掉了 Alexandra 全部的注意力。但這恰恰是那段旅程最舒服的地方:她整整一週多沒有想過工作。

我們一直在被壓力追著跑。我只是在努力保住我們兩個人的命。這個優先順序更高,反而挺好玩。(Alexandra Botez)

中途她們還在某個城市偶遇了兩個朋友,一起玩了半程。沒有任何規劃,全靠臨場反應。

她們是羅馬尼亞裔,在加拿大的移民社群長大。在義大利被老奶奶罵浪費食物的時候,那種熟悉感一下就把她們拉回了童年:盤子不吃完,是對做飯的人不尊重。

聊到義大利菜,Alexandra 說了一段挺有意思的話。她有麩質過敏,在美國吃義大利麵會不舒服,在義大利吃反而沒事。但她依然覺得義大利菜被高估了。

對我來說義大利像拉斯維加斯。待久了,我會做一些後悔的事。那裡的食物就是這樣,每個人都往你手裡塞大份的意麵、披薩和麵包。很好吃,但我後悔一切。(Alexandra Botez)

她補了一句觀察:義大利人普遍身材不錯,因為他們在外面走一整天,而且從小就知道怎麼節制。美國人也不是不知道怎麼節制,整個環境在不停地提醒你吃垃圾食品。

六歲,父親,和那個唯一穩定的東西

姐妹倆都是六歲開始下棋,父親教的。

Alexandra 早期的動力並不純粹。她下得好,有成績,但很大程度上是被父親推著走。真正開始愛上這件事,是在她們不斷搬家之後。

我們搬了很多次家,國際象棋是唯一穩定的東西。我所有的朋友也都在那裡。那是我開始高強度研究棋的時候,是我自己願意投入時間,不是被我爸推著。也是從那時候開始,我的成績才真正出來。(Alexandra Botez)

她會在暑假把自己關起來準備比賽。媽媽進來說,你得出去交朋友,出門去。她回答:不行,我要下棋。

Andrea 的路徑完全相反。她高中時更“均衡”,有興趣愛好,有社交生活,下棋更多是為了大學申請和履歷。壓力太大,反而享受不到。

這裡有一個她們反覆提到的對比:為結果下棋,和為喜歡下棋,是兩種完全不同的運動。前者消耗你,後者滋養你。而弔詭的是,後者往往成績更好。

Alexandra 高中時曾經想休學一年,全職下棋。父母堅持讓她直接上大學,她沒休成。她現在回頭看,覺得可能是好事。

如果我當時真的休了那一年,我不確定我還會不會回去上學。(Alexandra Botez)

等級分是怎麼運轉的

對不熟悉國際象棋的讀者,這裡需要一段科普。

等級分(rating)是一個統計系統,你贏強手漲得多,輸弱手掉得多。大致門檻是這樣的:

  • 2000 分,圈內俗稱“專家”(expert),沒有正式頭銜,但比賽裡遇到會這麼說
  • 2200 分,美國國家大師(National Master)
  • 2400 分,加上三個國際大師序分,是國際大師(International Master)
  • 2500 分加序分,是特級大師(Grandmaster)
  • Magnus Carlsen 長期在 2800 以上,最高到過 2882

2800 是什麼概念?全世界同時在這個水平的人,一隻手數得過來。Lex 在節目裡提到 Magnus 說過 2860 左右“還算體面”,姐妹倆解釋說,他那個意思談不上謙虛。他的意思是這個數字準確地反映了他的真實水平,既沒虛高也沒被壓低。

Andrea 那場錦標賽,她被分到的組平均等級分比她高 200 分。她賽前非常緊張,因為太久沒打比賽,手生。但最後她贏了。

直播的壓力是真實存在的。每一輪開始前她要拍 vlog、做粉絲見面會。她原本以為見面會就是站著合影,結果粉絲問的都是很認真的問題,像一場小型研討會。這段素材最後被剪掉了,因為節奏太慢,對 YouTube 留存不利。

不幸的是這對 YouTube 留存不好,我們全剪了。(Andrea Botez)

Lex 接了一句:不是所有東西都得放在 YouTube 上。

直播間裡的那個人,不完全是她們

聊到 Twitch,Andrea 說了一段很坦率的話。

直播的時候,你會把性格里的某一邊放大。當然它還是你,但你得一直“開著”。人們認識你是因為某些特質,對我來說就是 ADHD、是那個精力旺盛、到處惹麻煩的妹妹。這個開關有時候確實是開啟的,但有時候是刻意擰開的。(Andrea Botez)

她說自己性格里有很多部分不會出現在鏡頭前,因為不夠好看。比如她真正著迷的是競技象棋,可以坐下來想很久的那種。但她很清楚那不好看。

所以我得把你喜歡的東西,重新包裝成更大眾的觀眾能享受的形式。有時候這感覺不真實,有時候它只是重新打包。(Andrea Botez)

Alexandra 補了一刀,說她們最近在學做 YouTube 影片,學了所謂的“Mr. Beast 化”:

所謂 Mr. Beast 化,就是前 10 秒必須把重點丟擲來,不然人就走了。所有東西都是為了讓你繼續看下去、繼續留在平臺上而設計的。某種程度上這是個陷阱,因為你真正想做的內容變得更難做,你得把它擠壓成“這個封面行不行”“這個標題行不行”。(Alexandra Botez)

Lex 在這裡說了自己的做法:他寫了一個 Chrome 外掛,把所有播放量和點贊數都隱藏掉,不看點選率,不看 Twitch 觀看數。Andrea 會看,Alexandra 不看。

我也喜歡數字。正因為如此我才不看。你會開始覺得某次對話很差,只因為它沒流量。但事實不是這樣。YouTube 演算法是個怪物,它自己會算。你讓它控制你的腦子,它會從創作上毀掉你。(Lex Fridman)

國王印度防禦:一種自殺式的美學

節目裡花了不少時間拆解一盤棋:2009 年 Hikaru Nakamura 執黑對 Gelfand,走的是國王印度防禦(King's Indian Defense)。

Alexandra 說這是她最常下的開局。原因很簡單。

我喜歡它是因為它是一個非常有趣的、攻擊性的防守。你把所有棋子都往白方國王那邊扔,犧牲的機會特別多。不知道為什麼,戰術性的對局總是最好看的,最讓人滿足的。(Alexandra Botez)

這個開局的邏輯是這樣的。白方在中心擺三個兵,控制大片空間。黑方反過來,把中心讓出去,然後在王翼堆兵堆子,準備發起衝鋒。兩邊的戰場完全錯開:白方攻後翼,黑方攻王翼。

這是一種極端的不對稱。黑方如果攻不下來,殘局就是等死。Andrea 說,現在高水平的對手都不這麼走了,因為他們知道一條線可以穩定地拆掉這個進攻。

所有人都在下更慢的線路,那些沒那麼好玩的線路。他們不讓你拿到王翼的進攻機會,先把自己的中心開啟,結果你就沒有任何弱點,只能慢慢磨。(Andrea Botez)

但幾十年來,這個開局一直是實戰中的噩夢。Alexandra 說,她的特級大師教練教她的時候說,我下了十年國王印度,到現在還是不懂它。

電腦不喜歡它,Stockfish 不喜歡它。但你作為人類去防守的時候,會非常難。(Alexandra Botez)

棋局分析裡有個細節特別有意思。Nakamura 連續把馬移動了三次,就是為了給自己的兵騰位置。按教科書的開局原則,這是大忌:不要重複移動同一個棋子。但為了進攻,他不管。Lex 在旁邊聽得很興奮,說這就像看著一個完全不按套路出牌的人。

這盤棋裡,黑方甚至讓皇后懸在對方嘴邊好幾步不管,只為了繼續推進兵線。Lex 說了一句很到位的話。

感覺一切都處在危險中。(Lex Fridman)

Andrea 回了一句:這就是國王印度防禦的美感。

下棋的人為什麼喝酒,不碰迷幻藥

話題轉到酒精。Alexandra 說,棋手喝酒是常事,喝得不少。但迷幻藥這類東西,他們通常敬而遠之,因為怕弄壞腦子裡的東西。

喝醉了能不能下得更好?Andrea 還沒到法定飲酒年齡,Alexandra 說她試過。

我其實更喜歡邊喝邊下棋,而不是去夜店。跟同樣喝了的對手下,會有種視角更新的感覺,液體自信,創意也會好一點。但有個限度,一兩杯之後就開始漏戰術了。(Alexandra Botez)

Andrea 補了一個更具體的觀察:酒精只在極短時限的對局裡有用。她曾經在直播裡和一位特級大師下子彈棋(bullet,一分鐘一局),要求對方在下一局之前喝四杯。結果那人變得強了十倍,像變身綠巨人一樣把她打得更慘。

道理不復雜。快棋靠直覺,慢棋靠計算。酒精削弱計算,但會放鬆直覺的抑制。

最丟臉的那些敗局

Lex 問 Alexandra,職業生涯最丟臉的敗局是哪一場。她說了一大串。

讓她印象最深的對手裡,有一群小孩子。她高中時打過一場爭奪象棋獎學金的比賽,並列第一,進入加賽。她輸給了一個 12 歲的女孩,那個女孩根本沒資格用那個獎學金。

我現在輸了還會自我安慰,人家現在等級分 2300 了。所以在某種意義上也算合理。(Alexandra Botez)

Andrea 講了另一個故事,發生在拉斯維加斯。事情出在隔壁桌。一個大概十歲出頭的孩子跟一個成年人對弈,孩子把手伸出來,開始做假裝打電話的手勢。斜對面的另一個孩子看見了,拿起自己的香蕉,當作電話接起來,兩個人對著香蕉開始無聲對話。而他們各自的成年對手,正對著棋盤苦思冥想。

我看到那個成年人抬起頭,看了一眼那個孩子,看到那個香蕉電話,然後他嘆了口氣。那種絕望特別真實。(Andrea Botez)

那跟垃圾話沒關係,純粹是無聊。孩子無聊了。

她自己也遇到過一次。她的對手是個年輕大師,大概九歲就拿到大師頭銜,棋下得很好,垃圾話也是一流。他贏了一局,站起來就跳起了堡壘之夜(Fortnite)的舞蹈。

那種時候你只能把自尊嚥下去。(Andrea Botez)

紐約街頭的兩個假老太太

她們常去紐約的聯合廣場公園(Union Square Park)和華盛頓廣場公園(Washington Square Park)下棋。那裡有職業的街頭棋手,有些人水平不算頂尖,但每天下棋,很多是自學成才,沒有專業教練。圈子很小,彼此都認識。

這更像一種體驗,下棋只是其中一部分。你會認識這個人,他是個很有人格魅力的人,會跟你聊天,可能給你支招,也可能一邊下一邊閒聊。它是一個象棋體驗,而不只是下一盤棋。(Alexandra Botez)

她們第一次去的時候,故意不說自己的等級分,贏了很多人,覺得特別爽。現在去太多次了,人家都認識她們了。

於是有一次,她們決定偽裝。戴上假髮,臉上貼了假體,扮成老太太,慢慢悠悠地走進公園。Andrea 的柺杖還掉了一次,有路人過來幫忙,兩個人當場羞得要命。

騙局是怎麼被拆穿的?

他說,你看你拿兵的那個姿勢,我就知道是你。(Alexandra Botez)

她們自己都沒意識到下棋有身體上的習慣動作。這件事讓她們意識到,原來有些東西是藏不住的。

最難忘的一次是在時代廣場。她們自己搬了張桌子過去,那地方平時沒人下棋。燈光全亮著,來來往往的人不斷坐下來對弈,旁邊有音樂、有車流、有街舞的人,甚至還有裸體的人走過(她們得小心別被平臺封號)。

那是我們最喜歡的直播之一。它和古典象棋世界完全相反。我覺得混亂的環境物件棋是好事,它能讓象棋進入主流文化,讓完全不懂棋的人也覺得有趣。(Alexandra Botez)

Bobby Fischer 的世紀之戰,和 13 歲的天才

節目提到了幾盤歷史名局。

其中一盤是“世紀對局”(The Game of the Century)。1956 年,13 歲的 Bobby Fischer 對陣國際大師 Donald Byrne,棄掉皇后,贏下比賽。當年是記者起的名字,後來就叫開了。

Alexandra 分析這盤棋為什麼震撼:

那是一個美國青少年冠軍,13 歲的無名之輩,第一次在競爭激烈的環境裡對上頂尖的美國棋手。他的對手是個國際大師,代表美國隊打過奧賽。Fischer 那天戰術發揮得淋漓盡致。報紙上說,特級大師們圍在棋盤邊上說,Bobby 這盤輸了,他在幹什麼?結果這個 13 歲的孩子下得非常好。(Alexandra Botez)

另一盤是 1971 年候選人賽,Fischer 對 Tigran Petrosian。Alexandra 說這盤棋的價值在於它成了教科書:Petrosian 出後太早,國王沒有及時易位,違反了開局原則,Fischer 立刻懲罰了這兩個錯誤,接下來是十二步連續的完美走法。

這盤棋讓人感慨另一個層面:Fischer 在那屆候選人賽裡碾壓了兩位頂級特級大師,然後在二十幾歲就退出了象棋。

很悲傷。我們這麼早就失去了一個如此傑出的頭腦。他後來的生活,以及他慢慢走向瘋狂的過程,也很悲傷。(Alexandra Botez)

象棋為什麼會把人逼瘋

Lex 接著問了一個更深的問題:象棋本身有沒有某種東西,會開啟通向瘋狂的門?

Alexandra 的回答很直接。

對我來說,瘋狂的部分在於你能對一盤桌遊痴迷到什麼程度。你最佳化整個生活,就為了在推木塊這件事上打敗另一個人。它不一定能遷移到其他任何事情上。但你可以投入一生的時間,因為它足夠深,足夠有趣。我確實有過什麼都不想幹、只想下棋的階段。(Alexandra Botez)

她說自己上大學前特別想休學一年專心下棋,因為高中期間一直搬家,從來沒真正專注過。父母堅持讓她直接上大學,她沒休成。

Andrea 補了一層。

我覺得如果想把任何一件事做到最好,任何運動都一樣,你必須痴迷到那個程度。所以我不確定這只是象棋的問題。(Andrea Botez)

Alexandra 承認這一點,但指出差別:有些痴迷更容易遷移到均衡的社交生活,國際象棋明顯更難。

Lex 提到了他自己為什麼放棄下棋。年輕時他遇到一個能下盲棋的人,那人躺在沙發上,喝得爛醉,抽著煙,一邊跟人聊天開玩笑,一邊隔著房間報出棋步。Lex 當時想,如果一個人能做到這個,那意味著整個棋盤可以活在腦子裡,你可以在這個空間裡創造美麗的東西。

那種吸引力太強了。我必須決定,要麼全身心投入,要麼不碰。不能半吊子。所以我走開了,因為我生命裡還有很多其他美好的東西:我愛數學,愛很多事。我覺得象棋會把我整個吞掉。它在我的生命裡是獨一無二的,那種危險的成癮。(Lex Fridman)

Alexandra 講了她自己的版本。

一個人聰明到能成為特級大師,然後餘生只是做一個特級大師。這種事想起來挺讓人感慨的。它需要極強的腦力,但做了象棋,你就沒法深入探索其他領域了。我見過有人痴迷到那個程度,他們是特級大師,但到不了頂尖,永遠靠這個謀生不了,一年最多掙三四萬美元。他們甚至沒法專注競技,因為得靠教棋和做自己不喜歡的事來補貼。這種痴迷太強了,因為它在智識上真的非常有回報。但你可以從很多別的地方獲得同樣的回報。(Alexandra Botez)

輸了之後,你在房間裡不出來

Alexandra 講了一段很具體的經歷。今年早些時候,她去加拿大參加奧賽選拔賽。賽前她想,我現在是成年人了,輸了不會情緒化。

第一天,她輸給了一個等級分比她低的對手,因為漏著。

我回到房間,我說,我不是成年人,我不吃飯,我不出這個房間。我感覺糟透了,我知道我不該這樣,但它就是切得很深。後來我其實入選了奧賽隊,但我沒去打,因為沒時間訓練,而且那種輸棋的痛苦讓我覺得不值得。(Alexandra Botez)

Andrea 說她也一樣,青春期打比賽,週末就在哭。準備幾個月,下幾個小時的棋,然後輸了。但反過來,贏的時候那種多巴胺和血清素的衝擊也是巨大的。

輸棋是世界上最糟糕的感覺,尤其是在你準備了很久、戰鬥了很久之後。(Andrea Botez)

Lex 說他高中時練摔跤、打網球,那些也是個人專案,但至少還有隊友,有一種同袍感。象棋不一樣,你一個人去比賽,一個人承受。這種孤獨幾乎是結構性的。

她和抑鬱症相處了十年

Alexandra 主動提了一件事:她跟抑鬱症相處了至少十年。

象棋和直播是一種極大的分心,也帶給我巨大的快樂。我就一直做下去,因為我真的很喜歡。(Alexandra Botez)

她說她大學四年級開始直播,當時工作、學業都很忙,象棋成了一個被擱置的舊愛。她發現,越是不下棋,越是想念那種隨意下棋的快樂,會帶著新鮮的眼光重新看它。

後來一個專案沒做成,她決定賭一把,全職直播。當時這個選擇看起來很奇怪。

很可怕。但我之前已經冒過很多次可怕的險,最近兩次都沒成。我想,好吧,總會成的。某種程度上,失敗過、知道失敗之後也還好,反而讓你更敢試一件非常奇怪的工作。(Alexandra Botez)

Lex 問她,從那些黑暗的地方走出來,有什麼建議。

每次進入那種很黑的地方,最可怕的是它讓你覺得你永遠出不來,那種壓倒性的感覺。我只能回頭看更長的時間跨度,提醒自己每一次我都走出來了,它只是暫時的。這是對我最有幫助的一件事。對抗那個最可怕的部分,然後相信它會過去。同時採取行動讓它過去。我也試著把抑鬱症重新解釋成動力。如果只剩下我自己的大腦,我會非常抑鬱。所以我需要工作,需要專注在某件事上。(Alexandra Botez)

Andrea 說自己不屬於臨床級別,她的低谷週期更短。內容創作上會週期性進入存在主義危機:不喜歡自己在做的東西,覺得無望。那種感覺會推著她去嘗試真正有熱情的方向。

長期來看,它也教會我怎麼過更平衡的生活。每天做一點讓自己開心的小事,健身,吃得健康一點。如果我幾周不做這些,我就會抑鬱得多。(Andrea Botez)

Lex 在這裡插入了一段自述,跟 Marvin Minsky 有關。Minsky 給學生建議時說,他成功的秘訣是永遠討厭自己過去做的一切。Lex 說他個人也是這樣。

我太懶了。我需要對自己生氣到一定程度,才會去做該做的事。不是憤怒,是自我批判帶來的難受。我沒有抑鬱的傾向,所以我有更多空間讓自己感覺很糟。如果你會陷進去,你要非常小心,要識別觸發點。但對我來說,從經驗上看,感覺糟糕一直是 productive 的,它讓我長期更快樂,更感啟用著。不過我不會把這個建議給任何人。(Lex Fridman)

Alexandra 接了一句引文:快樂,但永不滿足。

直播這行的孤獨,和數字這個毒品

Lex 問,做創作者孤獨嗎。

Alexandra 說一開始不孤獨。最開始直播間只有兩三百人看,三四十個人在聊天。那感覺像社群,不像觀眾。你幾乎認識他們每一個人。觀眾慢慢變大之後,性質變了:他們為你“娛樂他們”這件事而來。這個轉變對她來說很難受,她開始在網上對自己的每件事都變得敏感,甚至開始把自己當成一個產品而不是一個人。

你必須這樣,不然你會把別人對你的一切評論都當成針對你個人的,而那些評論往往基於一個很小的片段。(Alexandra Botez)

Lex 說這幾乎是一種防禦機制。她承認是。就算你臉皮再厚,每天線上聽幾千個人的反饋,久了也會滲進來。

Alexandra 說,做創作者最孤獨的部分是倦怠(burnout)。這幾乎是必然的。

這是個數字遊戲。你在某個時間點火了、流行了,然後你一定要掉下來。接著就是幾個月的硬磨。我會走進 Andrea 的房間說,Andrea,我們過氣了。(Alexandra Botez)

她說姐妹倆在一起做這件事很幸運。大部分創作者朋友在這段過程裡非常孤獨,沒有一個人既是家人、又是合夥人、還並肩工作。

Andrea 補了一層更結構性的東西。

你會把自己的自我價值綁在工作上、綁在內容上,可能比別的職業更極端,因為你整個人就是這家公司,就是這個產品。好的時候壞的時候,你都得小心別把它反射成“我很差”,而不是“趨勢變了,這是正常的波動”。(Andrea Botez)

她們經歷過一次完整的過山車。疫情初期大家在家下棋,她們的觀看量漲了十倍。然後跌了 70%。

你看到那個數字,你已經盡力了,你只能接受它,然後想,好吧,我繼續堅持,也許它會變好。(Alexandra Botez)

Lex 說這就是 21 世紀創作者的困境:怎麼在演算法面前做一個藝術家,做一個有趣的頭腦。

他講了自己的做法。他從 MIT 停薪搬到德州,一個原因是想讓銀行賬戶歸零,因為背靠牆的時候他做得最好。

我有一個安慰:我不在乎這個播客流不流行。我甚至不希望它流行。我不希望它賺錢。我在更絕望的時候做得最好。(Lex Fridman)

Alexandra 說,這跟你做出最好作品的方式是一致的。Lex 說,謝謝,但我不推薦。

他還有另一層考慮。他說他喜歡數字,如果像 Mr. Beast 那樣認真盯資料,他會被高高低低摧毀,做不出最好的東西。播客的好處是音訊,聽眾和聲音之間有一種親密感,比 YouTube 穩定得多,也有意義得多。

YouTube 是個善變的情婦。它是一個很奇怪的毒品,它有非常上癮的反饋迴路。一個影片在十個裡排第一,那種腎上腺素……而且這個世界介紹你的時候,會說你是“某個影片有 X 播放量的人”。世界希望你上癮於這些數字。為什麼?因為他們把它等同於“你幹得好”。因為除此以外,他們沒有別的訊號來判斷你幹得好不好。(Lex Fridman)

他說更好的訊號是身邊的人,家人、同事,跟你說,這個真不錯,我聽了,很打動我。

我害怕數字。我更想做一個 Stanley Kubrick。我不想裝,但我想最大化我內心裡創造美的能力。有些人和這個完美對齊,比如 Mr. Beast,他就是愛做最史詩的東西。但不是所有人都這樣。我肯定不是。(Lex Fridman)

Alexandra 說她也很怕變成那種只做“垃圾食品內容”的人:你在看的時候停不下來,全部注意力都被抓住,看完之後,它沒有給你的生活帶來任何價值。演算法恰恰很獎勵這種東西。

什麼才是真正讓人滿足的

Lex 問,做這些內容,最讓她們滿足的是什麼。

Andrea 說的是那種私信。

有人跟我說,一年前我跟你下過,那時候我 1400,現在 1900 了,我想再挑戰你一次。一個 14 歲的孩子寫來這種郵件,那種感覺很棒。(Andrea Botez)

Lex 說,不只是象棋,對年輕女性來說也是一種賦權。你們在做自己,靠做自己賺錢,玩得開心,作為人在成長。這本身對很多人就是鼓舞。

然後他丟擲了一個更重的問題:你在公眾眼前正在成為一個人,一套觀念。你得非常認真地想,你想成為什麼樣的人。私下裡你有完全的自由去試錯,但在公眾眼前,網際網路懲罰試錯是很兇的。

你有兩個選擇。一個是築牆,說我不管別人怎麼想。我不喜歡這樣,因為我喜歡對世界保持脆弱,把心放在袖子上。另一個是你必須真的想清楚你要說什麼,你相信什麼,對你放出去的東西更認真。這很煩,但這其實是你本來就該做的。你應該對自己的言行有意識。(Lex Fridman)

他說這裡有個平衡。他最喜歡的一些人是非常傑出的頭腦,同時也允許自己犯傻。Elon Musk 是他朋友,是所有人裡最會犯傻的。他極其聰明、極其高產,也允許自己傻。這也鼓舞人:你不必完美,你可以是一團奇怪的亂麻,沒關係。

但他也說,一旦涉及政治,涉及讓人緊張的話題,你就得更小心、更有意識。而聰明的做法往往是離那些話題遠一點。

他提到一個正在糾結的事:要不要請 Karjakin。象棋只是一個遊戲,但整個 20 世紀,它是在俄羅斯和美國之間下的,冷戰熱戰都在。那是一段有趣的對話,它不只是一個遊戲,某種意義上是小型戰爭。這些決定你得自己做。

Alexandra 笑說,目前我們沒在跟特朗普或奧巴馬下棋。

六小時直播,和無法在公開場合學習

聊到直播的強度。Andrea 說她剛開始直播時,一天播六小時,一週六到七天。她當時追求的是時長而不是質量,讓人感覺在跟你一起待著,儘可能多地在場。這是 Twitch 上漲粉的老辦法。

後來她非常倦怠。長時間在鏡頭前很難保持最好的狀態,而且你會害怕去那些你想學、但你還不夠好的地方。

在公開場合學習比做你擅長的事難得多。我們下棋比 99% 的觀眾好,所以這遠不如去玩一個你很菜的遊戲、或者討論一個你剛感興趣的話題可怕。(Alexandra Botez)

Lex 接話:保持初學者的心態,在某個東西上很笨。那才是樂趣所在,你可以和大家一起學。網際網路會為此懲罰你。

Andrea 說她早期的另一個教訓是,不能把每一個興趣都變成內容。她喜歡音樂、彈鋼琴、讀各種東西、健身,她試過把這些全直播出去。後來發現,有些愛好就放在休息時間享受,專注於你擅長的,對頻道整體更好。

你可以在網上做你自己,但只能是你的一部分。剩下的部分,有時候保持私密更好,那樣你能給自己 100% 的自由。(Andrea Botez)

Alexandra 說她和妹妹不一樣。她在播客裡儘量做和私下完全一樣的人,她不喜歡藏東西。她們的情況有結構性差異:Lex 的播客本身就是泛話題的,而她們的觀眾是從一個非常具體的點進來的。

我們剛開始少下棋的時候,就有人說,我是為了象棋訂閱的,你怎麼不下棋了?(Alexandra Botez)

怎麼從專精走向泛化?慢慢擴張。Lex 開玩笑說,擴張到跳棋。Andrea 說,或者撲克。

棋盤旁邊聊天,其實是一種播客

Alexandra 說了一個她們在考慮的形式:一邊下棋一邊做播客,跟嘉賓聊。棋盤像一個破冰裝置,同時你還在專注於棋局。

Lex 說,象棋最酷的一點就是,你在棋盤上聊天的時候,它本身就是一種播客。

她們還在做一個新東西:象棋旅行節目,去不同國家看當地的象棋文化。九月九日去羅馬尼亞,那是她們全家來自的地方,奶奶教會了爸爸,爸爸教會了她們。羅馬尼亞有很強的象棋文化,而她們很久沒回去了。

聊到羅馬尼亞,Andrea 說了一段挺動人的話。

對羅馬尼亞人來說,很少有一個出名的羅馬尼亞人做成了什麼事,這非常罕見。所以羅馬尼亞人的自豪感很特別。我們在美國遇到其他羅馬尼亞人,那種連線非常強。(Andrea Botez)

她講了她父親怎麼看 Nadia Comaneci,那個著名的羅馬尼亞體操運動員。她拿奧運金牌之後,街上每個孩子都在練體操,因為在這個國家,能達到那種成功水平的人太少了。

該不該跟 Andrew Tate 對話

Lex 丟擲了一個具體的難題:Andrew Tate 是當下最有名的羅馬尼亞人之一,他極其擅長聚集公眾注意力,從很多角度看,他是個厭女者。我該不該請他來播客?

Andrea 的回答很謹慎。

這是雙刃劍,大部分這類事都不是非黑即白的。一方面我不同意他的觀點,他說了很多很傷人的話,也影響了很多人的看法。另一方面,跟他深入聊、聊到根子上,看看有多少隻是社交媒體策略,也許能讓被他影響的人往更理解女性的方向偏一點,這能帶來一些好處。但同時在給他平臺、給他更多注意力,也等於告訴其他有平臺的人,這樣做是可以的。要權衡,很難判斷。(Andrea Botez)

Alexandra 說得更直接一些。

說實話,我覺得他走紅的方式就是個增長駭客。我不怎麼聽他的內容,我覺得太蠢了。但我覺得他知道,說最蠢、最有爭議的話是快速成名的捷徑。表面上看他撐得住,但這正是我會想聽一場真正拆解到那些信念核心的對話的原因。對仰望他的年輕人來說,聽到有人真的去質疑這些,可能真的有用。但另一方面,公關風險很大。不瞭解你的人只看嘉賓名字,不聽內容,就會往另一個方向想。(Alexandra Botez)

然後她說了一段更有分量的話。

但我也害怕一個不能跟不同意的人對話的社會。就算我不喜歡 Andrew Tate,他被所有平臺封禁這件事本身就有點嚇人,因為它開了一個先例。你總得問自己:如果我站在另一邊,這件事還合乎倫理嗎?(Alexandra Botez)

Lex 說他糾結的一個主要原因是,他喜歡跟傑出的女性對話,很多女性聽眾說,看到女嘉賓上節目會被鼓舞。如果他跟 Andrew Tate 對話,哪怕那場對話非常有力,也會降低一位傑出的、有力量的女性上這個節目的可能性。她們不會看,社會卻會給每個人貼標籤。“Lex 是給厭女者提供平臺的人”。

他舉了自己的例子。年初 Joe Rogan 因為一個 N 詞爭議被圍攻,Lex 公開說我支援 Joe,他不是種族主義者。結果在某些社群裡,他成了“種族主義者的辯護人”,或者乾脆就是種族主義者本身。

我們給人貼標籤,從來不聽內容,甚至不做那個最簡單的步驟:對一個人說的話取最好的解釋,給他善意,給他共情。你只能在這個場裡玩,人們會互相貼標籤,這很難。(Lex Fridman)

他說他也因為關於普京或澤連斯基的單個詞、半句話收到過仇恨來信,兩個方向都有。有人叫他“普京辯護者”,有人叫他“澤連斯基辯護者”。考慮到他在那裡有家人,見過那裡的苦難,揹著這個包袱而不被它摧毀是很難的。

Alexandra 的結論:

當你確信你是出於正確的理由做這件事,卻有很多人來誤解,那非常痛苦。但你得問自己長期來看,讓聽眾知道這場對話,最終是更好還是更壞。然後如果你能睡得著,就冒這個險。(Alexandra Botez)

Lex 補了一句他常想的:天體物理學家跟他說過宇宙有多大,我們有多小。那件事本身就讓人自由。

誰是有史以來最偉大的棋手

Lex 挑了個能引發爭論的問題。答案在 Kasparov 和 Carlsen 之間分成了兩派。

Alexandra 先定義問題:排除“誰最有天賦”“誰對棋壇影響最大”,只問一件事,把所有人放在巔峰期,誰會贏。

我們現在活在一個人類越來越像半機器人的世界,工具讓他們強大得多。電腦是象棋史上最強的工具。Lasker 當過 27 年世界冠軍,在他那個時代遙遙領先,但你覺得他能頂住 Magnus Carlsen 嗎?我不覺得。所以我把 Magnus 的巔峰和 Kasparov 的巔峰放在一起比,因為 Magnus 更完整地活在電腦時代,我覺得到目前為止他是有史以來最偉大的。(Alexandra Botez)

Andrea 不同意,理由很清晰。

我會相對於他們各自生活的時代來評價。Magnus 技術上是有史以來最強的,那是因為他有電腦可以研究。但如果把他跟 Kasparov 比,他的棋最像 Stockfish。而 Kasparov 在他的時代,對他同水平棋手的勝率比 Magnus 高。Magnus 輸得更多,Kasparov 保持世界冠軍頭銜的時間也長了 20 年。所以因為沒有電腦輔助,而且對同水平棋手錶現更好,我覺得 Kasparov 應該排第一。(Andrea Botez)

Lex 加了一層:Magnus 下得非常多,閃電戰、子彈棋,他會喝醉,把自己放在各種條件下,仍然能統治。我們看到他很多失誤和漏著,正是因為他把自己暴露在那裡。Kasparov 更專注於世界冠軍賽,對局數量非常有限,非常專注於贏。從廣度、從展示出的天才的多樣性來看,得給 Magnus 加分。

Alexandra 承認這一點,補了一句:他可能還沒到職業生涯的巔峰,現在還下不了定論。

他為什麼放棄世界冠軍賽

Lex 說這事太瘋狂了:整個 20 世紀的象棋史都圍繞這個比賽,他走開了。

姐妹倆都承認作為棋迷很失望,但能理解。

你要去世界冠軍賽,跟比你弱的對手防守,還得贏,而且贏了也沒有快樂。所以也許不做這個、專注於 2900 分這樣的目標,他更可能實現它,因為他在專注真正激勵他下棋的東西。(Alexandra Botez)

但她也說這會傷害人們怎麼評價下一個世界冠軍。

如果 Nepo 或 Ding 中的一個人贏了,某種意義上是降低了含金量,因為持有世界冠軍頭銜的人已經不是世界上最好的棋手了。歷史上也發生過,但證明自己超越他,還是需要同樣的努力,10 到 20 年。(Alexandra Botez)

Lex 講了他理解的 Magnus 邏輯:他厭倦的是一個不能決出最強者的流程。對局數太少,會導致他更擔心輸給弱手。跟弱手下反而焦慮,因為樣本量太小。

如果是撲克選手有這種焦慮,他們根本不會打。世界撲克系列賽,你會不斷輸給更弱的選手。這就是擲骰子。但他想在世界冠軍賽下 20、30、40 盤,那樣他會享受得多。他也想下更短的局,因為那樣更強調“純粹的棋”,中局會有更多變化,能看到混亂,看到你怎麼算、怎麼靠直覺。(Lex Fridman)

Lex 也說了自己的偏好。

我可能比較狹隘,我會浪漫化奧運會和世界冠軍賽,因為它們稀有,因為樣本量小。魔力就發生在那裡。所有東西都押上了,一個人二十年的投入,每一天的每一分鐘,就為了那一刻。想想奧運會體操,有些專案一個失誤你就完了。那種壓力能摧毀人,也能創造魔力。黑馬打出生涯最好的一晚,或者統治多年的人突然失手。那種人類層面的戲劇性是美的。(Lex Fridman)

他說他仍然喜歡世界冠軍賽,但看到那麼多和棋,魔力就少了。所以對他來說,快棋更美。不過他也承認自己物件棋理解得不夠深,不知道是不是非得這麼多和棋。Magnus 提到隨機開局(Fischer Random),很有意思,但那樣就得下幾百盤。

我覺得很好的一點是,世界第一正在糾結這些問題,因為他有槓桿,能改變象棋在公眾眼裡的樣子。他還年輕,如果他想,還能統治很久。(Lex Fridman)

他最後說,他希望 Magnus 改變主意回來。世界冠軍賽在任何運動裡都是特別的東西。

你希望贏世界冠軍的人就是世界上最好的棋手嗎?不。我希望世界上最好的兩個人坐下來。但贏的人是那個贏的人,這就是它的魔力。沒人知道誰會贏。對 Magnus 來說,他想讓最好的人贏,這就是他想要大樣本量的原因。對我來說,那種壓力、戲劇性,全都是比賽的一部分。它不只關於純粹的棋、純粹的計算。(Lex Fridman)

給年輕人的建議:計算過的風險

Lex 最後問,對正在想自己該做什麼的年輕人有什麼建議。

Alexandra 說的是“計算過的風險”。

年輕的時候多冒險是可以的,因為你有更多時間。但你必須有個理由,為什麼冒這個險。是你已經投入了很多時間、真的熱愛的東西,還是隻是因為它流行、你沒有更好的選擇?(Alexandra Botez)

Andrea 講了她自己的決策過程。她原本是絕對要去上大學的,從 12 歲起夢想就是學校。疫情來了,所有課都線上上,她算了一筆賬。

如果我休學一年,跟姐姐試試直播,我有什麼可失去的?我獲得跟一個比我經驗多得多的人一起工作的經驗,然後我可以回去上學。如果我現在就去上學,上一年的網課,那是我任何時候都能做的事。所以這個選擇對我很合理。(Andrea Botez)

Lex 說,所以生活就像象棋。Andrea 說,也許有一天吧。

象棋拳擊,和那一場馬拉松

Lex 提到看到 Andrea 上自衛課、練柔道。她笑著說自己可能會斷一條腿。然後她說自己在練拳擊,象棋拳擊(chess boxing)是真實存在的運動。

規則很簡單:一個回合下棋,一個回合拳擊,交替進行。她們去過倫敦的一家象棋拳擊俱樂部。

你被打累之後,更容易犯錯,他們管這個叫……反正有策略。有些人練棋,有些人練拳,兩邊都得練,很好玩。(Andrea Botez)

她說有個創作者朋友在辦象棋拳擊比賽,但沒有能匹配她的女對手,其他對手都是男性。

Alexandra 說,我不想看 Andrea 被打。她們的室友去打過一場,贏了,但看著室友被打,她在鏡頭外差點吐了。那位室友沒有任何拳擊經驗,然後六天一週早上六點起床訓練,像一個真正的職業運動員。那種投入和進步本身就很rewarding。

Lex 問起 David Goggins 那場馬拉松。Andrea 說她受傷了,但很快會做,那在她的 bucket list 上。

Lex 講了自己那次推文挑戰。兩年前一個夏天,他發推說,這周這條推文有多少贊,他就做多少個俯臥撐和引體向上。結果大約三萬。

你一旦發到網上,你就有責任了。我第一天就受傷了,你不知道你必須循序漸進。我得了過度使用損傷,肩到肘的肌腱炎。休息了八九天,然後重新開始。最後花了大概 31 天。(Lex Fridman)

他說每天三四個小時,一邊做一邊問自己在幹什麼,腦子裡那個聲音說“這就是你單身的原因”。

這件事他刻意不做成內容。他錄了,主要是為了計數,因為累的時候數不清。他本來想用機器學習自動識別影片計數,但十天後他根本不在乎別人怎麼想了。

那是我跟自己之間的較量。Lex 對 Lex。(Lex Fridman)

痛苦為什麼是一條路

Lex 說他喜歡那些把人逼到極限的人。體力活動是最容易把自己逼到極限的方式,其他領域更難設計。

Alexandra 問他,這危險嗎。他說,是的,這正是它美的地方。

如果你不知道自己怎麼走出來,你就必須在自己身上找到一些很深的東西。(Lex Fridman)

他說他去烏克蘭的一個原因,就是想親身體驗那裡的人在經歷的艱難和強度,好讓他更理解自己,也更理解他們。他說從嘴裡說出的話,能建立在更好的理解之上。

大部分成長髮生在自願的苦難或掙扎裡。非自願的那種,是創傷的來源。(Lex Fridman)

他描述了那種過程中的階段:先是所有藉口湧上來,為什麼你要做這個。然後你開始想,你想成為什麼樣的人,所有你做過的夢、對自己和別人的承諾、還沒實現的抱負,全都在痛苦中變得非常具體。等這些也過去了,你會對生命裡真正愛的東西有一種清澈的感激,就是活著本身,一步一步地。

我覺得冥想最有效的部分就是這個,痛苦是冥想過程的催化劑。(Lex Fridman)

他還提了一個自省的思路:如果幾條路擺在面前,最不想走的那條,往往是對的。走完之後總能學到點東西。

意義、愛,和為什麼還在這裡

最後 Lex 問了兩個大問題。人生的意義是什麼?愛在人類處境裡扮演什麼角色?

Andrea 先答。

我不知道我們為什麼在這裡。但我知道,給自己的人生賦予某種意義,會讓每一天更有動力。所以我試著在自己的人生裡尋找意義,即使我知道那是我自己強加的。(Andrea Botez)

對意義問題,她加了一句。

我也傾向於覺得人生沒有意義,但我喜歡斯多葛派的那個想法:那正是你活著要去反抗的東西。(Andrea Botez)

關於愛。

在我看來,愛是你想跟別人分享經驗的原因。你真正愛的人,你想跟他們分享你在經歷的東西,好的和壞的。(Andrea Botez)

Alexandra 的回答。

作為人,一部分就是你會情緒化地感受事物,而愛是你能有的最強烈的感受之一。當然有反面,有恨,但你對父母、對朋友、對戀人的愛,在那一刻比其他任何情境都強烈得多。它也非常獨特地屬於人類,這是我欣賞它的地方。(Alexandra Botez)

Lex 收尾時說,也許這就是人生的意義,也許這就是斯多葛派在尋找的東西。

節目最後,他放了一句 Bobby Fischer 的話:國際象棋就是生命。

整場對話沒有給這句話做太多註解。回過頭看,那兩個小時裡所有關於輸棋、抑鬱、倦怠、數字、標籤、該不該給某人平臺的討論,都在回答同一個問題:你把什麼東西放進你的人生,願意為它承受多少痛苦,以及當它不再給你快樂時,你有沒有勇氣重新定義它。

Andrea 花了三年卡在 1900,靠放下執念越過了 2000。Alexandra 靠著對抑鬱的重新理解把它變成訊號和動力。她們都還在下棋,下的方式已經和十幾歲時完全不同。

  • 如果你在一個領域卡了很久,先檢查目標本身有沒有問題。Andrea 每天訓練六小時三年沒突破,放下“必須漲分”的執念後一場比賽漲了 70 分。執念本身可能就是瓶頸。
  • 把興趣分成兩類:可以變成內容的,和只屬於自己的。Andrea 試過把鋼琴、健身、閱讀全部直播,結果兩頭都做不好。留一部分不分享,是長期創作的必要條件。
  • 如果你靠資料活著,先把它藏起來。Lex 寫了瀏覽器外掛隱藏所有播放量和點贊數,理由是“你會開始覺得某次對話很差,只因為它沒流量”。在你建立起獨立判斷之前,別讓演算法替你判斷。
  • 年輕時的冒險要有具體理由,不停留在“這個行業火”。Andrea 的判斷標準是:如果這事失敗了,我能不能回到原來的路徑上?能,就去做。
  • 學任何技能,先分清你缺的是計算還是模式識別。前者要花 20 分鐘死磕一道題,後者要快速刷大量簡單題,兩種訓練互相替代不了。
  • 如果你長期情緒低落,先區分它是臨床的還是訊號。Alexandra 的做法是把它當成“生活裡有東西需要改”的提示,同時提醒自己這種感覺是暫時的,每一次都走出來了。臨床級別的抑鬱不要獨自硬扛,要找專業幫助。
  • 找一個能讓你忍受長期沒有回報的事。Alexandra 說,兩三年什麼都換不來,還是每天坐在那裡,這種耐心是她從象棋裡唯一真正帶走的東西。
文稿來自公開 Kaggle 資料集(rajneesh231/lex-fridman-podcast-transcript),為早期自動轉錄存檔,可能存在識別錯誤。
I mean, I've definitely experienced moments where I didn't want to do anything but chess. I'd also say that's pretty universal. I think if you want to be the best at anything you do or any sport, you have to be that level of obsessed. The following is a conversation with Alexandra and Andrea Botez. They're sisters, professional chess players, commentators, educators, entertainers, and streamers. Their channel is called Botez Live on Twitch and YouTube. I highly recommend you check it out. A small side note about the currently ongoing controversy in the chess world, where the 19 year old grandmaster, Hans Niemann, beat Magnus Carlsen at the Sink Field Cup. After this, Magnus, for the first time ever, withdrew from the tournament, implying with a tweet that there may have been cheating or at least something shady going on. Folks like the grandmaster, Hikaru Nakamura, fanned the flames of cheating accusations, and the internet made a bunch of proposals on how the cheating could have been done, and it ranged from the ridiculous to the hilarious, often both. Hans himself came out and said that he has cheated before when he was 12 and 16 on random online games to jack up his rating. But he said that he has never cheated in person over the board. Danny Wrench from chess.com, who I've spoken with, may make a statement in response to Hans's claims soon. Folks like grandmaster Jakob Luegge spoke to his experience training Hans Niemann and has said that his memory and intuition were quite brilliant. So as you see, there's a lot of perspectives on this. ChessBase has a good summary of the saga that I'll link in the description. Also note that this is so quickly moving that new stuff might come out between me recording this and publishing the episode, but I thought I'd mention this anyway since the episode with the Botas sisters is a conversation about chess and was recorded shortly before the controversy, so we didn't talk about it. I'm considering having Hans on this podcast and also Magnus back on the podcast, and maybe others like Hikaru or folks from chess.com's anti cheat staff to discuss their really interesting cheating detection algorithms, but I may also just stay out of it. I find chess to be a beautiful game and the chess community full of fascinating, brilliant people, and so I'll keep having conversations like these about chess. It's fun. My goal with this podcast and in general as a human being is to increase the amount of love in the world. Sometimes that involves celebrating brilliance and beauty in science, in art, in chess. Sometimes it involves empathetic conversations with controversial figures that seek to understand, not to ride. Sometimes it involves standing against the internet lynch mob, as the ChessBase article calls it, to hear the story of a human being who is under attack, even if it means I get attacked in the process as well. This is the Lex Friedman podcast. To support it, please check out our sponsors in the description, and now, dear friends, here's Alexandra and Andrea Botas. You just got back from Italy. What's the most memorable thing? I was just there recently as well. It was very chaotic because we went out on a whim and we only had our first hotel booked, and then we rented a car and drove around all of the cities and went to like five different cities in about a week and a bit. So I think it was just the variety of seeing so many different places when we're used to being at home all the time, and Andrea, is yours your luggage? Yeah, I would say it was the most stressful vacation we've been in in our life, and it was a valuable learning lesson because now I know how to be prepared for trips, but we lost our bags and I never got them back. And like Alex said, we didn't know where we'd be sleeping every night and we're just driving through a new city with a giant van in the most narrowest streets and getting in many, many fights with Italian men. So it wasn't really a vacation. I saw this motion so many times. Wasn't it liberating to lose your baggage? Is it still the lining? It was liberating. My entire life, I've always had the issue of overpacking. And I told her before the trip, Andrea, you're gonna pack light, right? Yeah, Alex, yeah. And then I see her stuffing her overweight suitcase. But you did the same. We both had giant, big extra baggage that we didn't need. And I'm actually very glad we lost it because for Venice, hauling that around on all the boats and through the tiny streets and there's no Ubers. And now it's the first time where I can travel without checking in a bag, which I've never done before. So now I've learned what it means to pack light because I saw that I could survive off of just my, this sounds very dramatic, but it was really a big learning lesson for me. The driving must've been crazy because driving in Italy is rough. The driving was crazy. I did most of it and it would be really interesting driving through places like Florence or even through the beach areas that were super windy because there are two way streets that should really only be one way. So you'd be driving this huge van and then another car comes on a cliff and you're just waiting for it to slowly pass. So it took all of my focus and concentration to drive well in Italy, but it was actually really relaxing because the hardest thing about making a lot of videos online is you're always thinking about it, what's coming next. And when we were in Italy, it was so chaotic that I did not think about work for a good week and a bit. Oh, cause you're just. We were stressed. I was just trying to keep us alive. It seemed higher priority. And that was kind of fun. It was kind of fun. No planning, nothing. Just on a whim. I wouldn't recommend it or ever do that again, but. It sounds pretty awesome. And we even randomly ran into two friends of ours who were in the same city and we just traveled with them for about half of the trip. Yeah, so you just took on the chaos. Exactly, it was an adventure. Okay, and I see like, cause you were using your hands a lot. You picked up some of the Italian hand gestures. I did. We did get yelled at by a lot of Italians. The old Italian grandmas would come to us after breakfast cause we'd leave something on the plate and she'd be like, you could feed an entire village with that. Tell your friends. And we'd feel so ashamed. Yeah, we got cursed out a lot, but it really reminded me of where we grew up and helped. That's true. Yeah, bring back those mechanisms. Where'd you grow up? We're Romanian, but it was like an immigrant neighborhood. In Canada. So, same if you don't finish your plate, that's disrespectful to the people who made the food. How was the food in Italy? I feel like the carbs thing is too intense. Yeah, I think very overrated in my opinion. So I'm actually not supposed to eat gluten cause I have an allergy, but I was in Italy and it's gluten galore. So I was actually eating a lot of it and it was very interesting cause I didn't get sick while I was in Italy, but I do while I'm in the US. So somehow the food was actually maybe more okay for me to digest, which I appreciated, but I didn't like it as much as I thought. Did you like the food there? Yeah, no, I did, I did. I love carbs, but it feels like Vegas when I go there for the food is like, if I stay here too long, I'm gonna do things I regret. That's what it feels like with the food. I don't know how to moderate and everybody is pushing very large portions and while kind of eating things on you, pasta, pizza and bread, so delicious. So yeah, I love it, but I regret everything. So it's like, I don't wanna go to a place where I'm going to regret everything I do for too long of a time. Yeah, surprisingly the people there though are still very fit and everyone stays in good shape, but that's probably because you're walking around all day and you're much more active than anyone. And they also just know how to moderate food. I think I've gotten used to the US way of eating. The US portions. What is that? Just a lot, always a lot and more. And I feel in the US food advertisements are also much more in your face and you're more often reminded of junk food than we were in Italy. So even though we were eating less healthy things, I think we were getting cravings and being pushed towards junk food less often. All right, I gotta ask you a hard question. So the romance languages. So I think French is up there as like number one. Number one in terms of? I don't know. Who's ranking them? Oh, you guys speak Italian or no? Not Italian, but we studied French and Spanish in school. And Romanian. I feel like every country calls their language a romance language. But it's Romanian, French, Spanish, Portuguese. And I think there was one more that was like this dialect, but those are considered the romance languages. Okay, so where would you put Italian? I think we got yelled at so much in Italian that it's not gonna be a love word. So it wasn't working. It's on the bottom of the list cause people did not use it nicely to us. But I always really liked how French sounds. I think something about it where maybe Spanish actually sounds nicer to the ears, but French has more character and it feels more sultry. So I like French. What about you? Yeah, that was my answer too. Oh. Sultry, okay. Yeah. I feel like French, in France, I feel like I'm always being judged. Like they're better than me. That's what French. They are better than us. That's true. It's just so true. Which is why I long to belong to that. I like the British accent. The British accent? Yeah. Actually, one thing we did on our Italian trip is we just picked up British accents for the entire trip for fun. And we forgot we were doing them to the point where we talked to British people and they'd ask us, why are you talking like that? We just couldn't stop. I did feel much more elegant and mature. That's true. People like, I don't know if they felt the same way about us, but it was more of the confidence. You do feel like you're more poised for sure. Yeah. So how'd you guys get into chess? When did you first, let's say, when did you first fall in love with chess? So we both started playing when we were pretty young, around six years old. That's when our dad taught us. And I enjoyed playing chess because I had good results early on, but a lot of it was being pushed from my dad to play chess. And I only really started loving it when we moved from Canada and we started moving a lot and chess was the one stable thing that I had. And it was also where all of my friends were. So it was kind of that foundational thing for me. And that's when I started studying chess very intensely. And when I started putting in the hours out of my own will and not because I was being pushed by my dad, that's when I started really loving it. And I even wanted to take time off college to just focus on chess. So training and competing? Training and competing, yeah. It was when I was doing it for myself that I started getting my best results. And actually enjoying the thing. And really enjoying it, yeah. I would spend summer vacations studying for tournaments and my mom would come and say, "'You need to make friends, go leave the house." And I'd be like, no, I need to play chess. And I remember those moments. That you rebelled by playing chess, that's awesome. Yeah, exactly. How did you get into it? Yeah, my experience with loving in high school is very opposite from Alex's, but right, my sister was playing and my dad taught me when I was also six. Andrea was cool in high school, unlike me. You were. I wouldn't say cool, I'd say more balanced and I was interested in other hobbies. In my childhood, if I ever really did love chess, there's certainly moments about traveling and being together with my family and spending those moments together, but those are more the social and the experiences. But funny enough, I think my happiest moment where I really played the game for my own enjoyment was probably my most recent tournament. Because this was after, obviously, we've been streaming and I'm no longer in high school, but when I was in school, I was always playing for college and for the results, trying to build a resume. So I was too stressed out about the pressure to really enjoy the game. Whereas when I just played my first tournament, so it was after a two year break because of the pandemic and it was also all live on Twitch, so there was some pressure, but it was the first time that I was really eager to study for the game, sitting and focusing since we've been streaming and not getting distracted by something else. In years, like I said. And the tournament experience, I hit my highest rating and it was my best tournament ever. And I think most of that is because it came from my own enjoyment. So you didn't enjoy the domination? Because I think you did really well, right? This is like a couple months ago? Oh yeah, yeah, the tournament. Well, of course, I think the results came from enjoying the tournament. Because I would be in high school studying triple the amount of time, like six hours every day compared to this tournament, I didn't even prepare for it. And for three years, I wouldn't be able to pass one rating, whereas in this one tournament, I passed it by like 70 points without even any preparation. So it was, I think, as soon as you stopped worrying about the competitions, when the games get much better. What does it mean to pass a rating? So I was stuck at 1900. 1900 is 100 points off of expert. Yeah. Usually when you reach 2000, you're considered an expert, which is the rating Andrea was going for. Okay, expert, that's a technical term or that's like a talk and trash term? It's more of a colloquial term where if somebody is around a 2000 and you're playing them in a tournament, they won't have the actual title next to their name, but you always say, I'm playing an expert. What about like the more official things like master? Does that have to do with the rating or something else? Yeah, so national master in the US is when you're 2200. Okay, and what's international master? International master is based off of a different system, the FIDE system, which is international. To be an international master, it's 2400 and you have to have three international master norms. Yeah, I think Magnus said he's a 28, six something. That was, yeah. And then he said, that's pretty decent. Now. Well, he always talks a lot about that. But see the thing is, I think what he meant is that's a decent rating because it accurately captures his actual level. So it's not overinflated or underinflated and so on. And so the discussion there was how do you get to, can a human being get to 2900? And then he says, because my current rating is pretty decent at representing my skill level, it's gonna be a long road to actually get there. Because it's like, so you have to beat people at your same level, that's how the number increases. Exactly, yeah. And you beat a bunch of people in the tournament, right? That are higher than your luck. I did, I got very lucky. I was playing, I was really nervous because my category was like 200 points above my rating. And of course, I was very rusty and I didn't play in a tournament in a while, but it went pretty well. Do you feel the pressure when you're actually recording it, like the streaming? It was definitely, so before every round I was vlogging and I was doing meet and greets and doing other things for the livestream. Yeah, I saw you do a meet and greet. You didn't know what the hell you were doing, it's great. Yeah, yeah. Like what am I, how do I do this? Yeah, I see. What do I do? It was actually really wholesome. The beginning was very silly because I was just not expecting that it was gonna be more of a seminar. I thought it was like, oh, you pose and take pictures, but they actually asked really nice, meaningful questions, but unfortunately it's bad for YouTube retention and we cut them all out, so. Bad for YouTube? Yeah. The good long form conversation. Yes. So it was like questions, Q and A type of thing. Exactly, you have to have very fast paced for YouTube and that seminar was not fast paced. Okay, well, not everything in life needs to be on YouTube, right? That's true. There's like two parallel things, stuff that's fun for YouTube. Yes, one day we'll post that Q and A. Yeah, when you guys like, when you become like ultra famous, you're currently just regular famous. And then they'll appreciate the long, slow content, yes. And that, the YouTube aspect, the creation aspect, does that add to the fun, ultimately, of the chess, of like your love of chess? Oh, for the love of chess in general or just for competing in that one tournament? No, love of chess in general. I think you said that for competing for that tournament is adding pressure. Yeah, but actually I would say like a good pressure, but yeah, this is where I differed to Alex because when I was just competitive and I was younger, I don't think I loved chess as much as when I started doing it for content because unlike her, who a lot of her friends and social circle were other chess players, I never really traveled and built really solid friendships through chess until I started streaming and meeting other chess streamers and actually playing and talking to people for fun rather than just always being alone in the game and never really meeting other people my age or people with similar interests. So I would say Twitch was the thing that really changed how I approached the game. I think with some YouTubers, there's a pressure to be almost somebody else. You create a persona and you're stuck in that persona. I think I'm too much of a boomer to know what the hell Twitch is anyway, but it feels like when you're actually live streaming, you can't help but be who you really are. I think it's, oh, well, I think when you're live streaming and I've talked to a lot of other streamers about this, you kind of just over exaggerate one side of your personality. And of course, it's kind of like being like on all the time. Like you're trying to be more entertaining and sometimes you're being silly at moments or more, you take what character traits like people know you for. And for me, one is being like ADHD and the younger sibling who's very energetic and causes trouble, even though sometimes it's a little switch. Yeah, I'm sure you cause trouble just for the camera. Yeah, right. I think, yeah, I think, and of course, once you're live streaming for like four or five hours, there's gonna be moments in the stream where it's more chill, but especially when you're like editing that content or you're doing bigger streams that are shorter, you are kind of playing up a side of yourself because of course, there's a lot of parts of me that I don't show to the camera because they're not as entertaining to watch, like the more serious part. And also there's things that you are really interested in about what you do. Like I love competitive chess where I could sit and really think about it, but I know that that is not gonna be as entertaining for stream. I know that's not gonna be as entertaining for YouTube. So you kind of have to take what you like, but then really adapt it for whatever the format is. And sometimes that feels inauthentic, but other times it just feels like repackaging what you love for people in a more general audience to enjoy. Do you feel like it's a trap a little bit as you evolve? Like you're trapped in? Oh, I think social media, oh, sorry, go ahead. Social media in general is a trap of that kind? Well, so we've been trying to switch to learn how to make YouTube videos recently. And so much of learning YouTube school is kind of the beastification of content where you try to get to the point of the video within like the first 10 seconds to not lose people. The beastificate, you mean like Mr. Beast? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, where it's so fast paced, there's a reason to wait, there's high stakes. And everything is created to keep people watching the video and keep people on the platform. And in some ways it is a trap because it's harder to do the kind of content you like because you really have to squeeze it to be like, okay, well, do we have a good thumbnail for this? Do we have a good title for this? And that's something that we're trying to figure out how to keep true to what we wanna do. Yeah, see, the way I think about it is, yeah, there's a lot of stuff you can create and yeah, the Mr. Beastification process. But also I think about what are the videos, conversations or things I will create in this life but the idea is you're giving your own piece because you want to have more space and open up the King, which is what you're always trying to do when you have a King side. You're trying to remove as many of the King's defenders as you can without giving up too much. And then you have a ton of pieces on the King side for black, just waiting to. Exactly. To do harm. And then. And notice how every single move, white is getting attacked. Like they're just never getting a break. Black just keeps throwing all their pieces. So it's funny that black's Queen has been hanging for like three moves now and white still can't do anything about it. So rook puts the King in check. The King runs. And then again, we leave the Queen hanging and you develop a piece, this light squared Bishop that's so important, and you're once again threatening checkmate on G2. And then Bishops coming to the game. Once again, the Queen hanging. I mean, the game is just so beautiful. The amount of calculation Hikaru put into this position. It feels like so much is in danger. Right. It's so interesting. And Knight takes what? A pawns. So now his Queen is attacked twice and he doesn't care. He takes the Bishop and he's still threatening the checkmate on G2. And then the Queen takes the Bishop. So now he's defending against G2 and black just goes and grabs some material back here. So here, black is already is winning. Well, he ends up winning a Knight here because black had to be so much on the defensive. He's just taking pieces. Yeah, I mean at this point, you're up two whole pieces. So you knew it was in here. Yeah, exactly. But. And Queen. Queen. And then you take, and then the rook takes and there's not as much of an attack on the King anymore, but Hikaru is up a Knight here, which is GG. Yeah, what's the correct way of saying that? Because I played Demis Hassabis. I played him in chess. And then I quickly realized like from his facial expressions that I should have like stopped playing. Oh. It was like, it's already set. Yeah, when it's. And then he's like, like, this is the good time to like, give up. Right. You're not gonna get to checkmate where like this, you know, he could see like, the checkmate is like five or seven moves away or something. And what's the play? Usually you have to resign if you're in a position or you should through chess etiquette resign when you're in a position where your opponent is definitely gonna win out of respect. Like if you're a piece down. And obviously all top grandmasters do that. The only people who don't do that is kids because their coaches. They love to play till the checkmate. Their coaches always tell them never resign and they'll be in hopelessly lost positions playing against like two rooks, a king, and they only have their sole king, but they're still playing on. So that's a position where it's obvious they can't win. Because the kids might make errors. Yeah, exactly. And so it might as well. That was the interesting thing about, I think game six of the previous world championship with Magnus. Was it the one where he beat Nap? Yeah, the first time he beat him, where it was like, he said that, I don't know how often you come across this kind of situation. He said, the engines predict a draw, but that doesn't mean that it's going to be a draw. So you play on hoping that you take a person into, I mean, this is, I guess, an end game thing. You take them to deep water and they make a positional mistake or something. I don't know when, like he from his gut knows that this is supposed to be a draw, but he still plays on. Yeah, I mean, that is one where it could theoretically be a draw, but it could be very hard to defend because it's a hard technique to know as a human. And especially in that game, I know that Nepo was also in time pressure, which makes it even harder. So in situations like that, you should always continue. It's more where an engine would give you something like plus 10 or something where it's not just clearly a win, but anybody would know how to win. And that's where you're usually supposed to resign. So what do you find beautiful about this game? Is it the attacking chess and just the asymmetry of it? It's the asymmetry. And it's the fact that this is the dream for the King's Indian, where you're able to get a beautiful attack. And there was also those two really nice sacrifices where Black just continuously kept putting pressure on White's King to the point where he was able to win material. And the best part of it is that if the attack didn't work out, Black would have been completely lost. How often does that happen, by the way? Like as an attacking player, how often do you put yourself in the position of like, I'm screwed unless this works out? In online chess more than I should. And it's usually when I sacrifice, I know it's either gonna work or I'm lost. And those are the most fun positions to play usually. But in tournaments, if you're doing a sacrifice, you're playing it with 100% confidence because you're taking the time to calculate it. But yeah, when you have three minutes, you don't have time. So you take a whim and you follow your intuition and you find out later. Or you're very confident it'll work and you haven't calculated all the way until the end, but you've calculated to the point where you have enough in exchange for the sack and you think you could play that position. How do you train chess these days? What's, do you practice? Do you do deliberate practice? I mean, you're in this tough position because you're also a creator and educator and entertainer. So do you try to put in time of like daily practice? I don't train chess anymore when I'm focusing on creating. I do if I'm preparing for a tournament. But back in the day, I would train very seriously for tournaments. And the way it would work is I do opening preparation for a specific tournament because that's when you really need to have those lines memorized and you could also prepare for specific opponents. And I would do tactics to make sure I stay sharp. So those were the two things I would do every single day for a tournament and then mix up the rest with like maybe some end games, maybe some positional chess. So what does tactics preparation looks like? Do you do like a puzzle, like a random puzzle thing? Yeah, I would just train puzzles for at least like 30 to 60 minutes or books. And sometimes you were, and there's different kinds of puzzles. One you could train for pattern recognition where you're supposed to go through them very quickly. And that's just so that when you're playing the game, if your mind is tired, it's still keeping track of things a little bit more easily. And then there's where you're practicing your combination and those sometimes take like 20 minutes to find because you have to just calculate a lot. And it's more like making sure that you've trained with that muscle. But Andrea is actually very good at finding ways to balance and still study while also doing content. Yeah, so what, you're able to do both? That's the hard thing. I was getting very irritated with content because I'm very competitive. I don't like playing chess if I'm losing. And if you're talking and entertaining, you're gonna be losing more games than winning. So then I started doing more training streams where I'd bring on my coach. And one of the things that I wanted to add to Alex's training repertoire. So I would do daily puzzles every time I'm streaming, which helped me a lot, even if it's like, there's this thing on chess.com called Puzzle Rush, where you have three minutes and you just do puzzle after puzzle where they get incrementally harder. And it's just a really good way to build your pattern recognition, especially when you're rusty. So I would do that till I hit a high score and I wouldn't play any blitz until I hit the score that I want. But that's kind of more like the fun part of chess studying. The very important one is actually analyzing your losses in your tournament games. And first you sit and you look through your mistake yourself and try to see if you can find the better moves. And then that's when you would check over with a computer to see if you're right. So game analysis is also very important, which I try to do. I remember to give a shout out, I listened to a couple of episodes of the Perpetual Chess Podcast, which is pretty good. But whatever I listened to, I remember the, it's, I think they really focus on like teaching people. How to train. Yeah, how to play, how to train, all that kind of stuff. They do like, yeah, I'm looking now, adult improver. So basically like how do regular noobs get better at chess? One of the things that, one of the person that said, I think he was the grandmaster, but he said, to maximize the amount of time you spend every day of like, basically as you were saying, like suffering. So like you, it's not about the, like you should be thinking. You should be doing calculating. So it's the opposite of what Magnus said. Like you should be doing a lot of time. It doesn't matter what the puzzle is or whatever the hell you're doing, but you should be like doing that difficult calculation. That's how you get better. Yeah, it really depends what you're training. Cause I used to think the same, but it depends what you're weaker at. Cause if you're doing the really difficult puzzles, you're training for like visualization and calculating more moves ahead than you typically would, which maybe you wouldn't get into that as often in a regular game because typically you run into like three to four tactics, which are actually the easier and more fun ones to solve. So it really depends. And on top of that, as a hobbyist, your motivation is very different than when you're playing from a young age and have pretty high competitive ambition. And a lot of people who are new to chess, you could basically work on anything and still improve. So if you're focusing on something you like, you're probably gonna stick to it more and be more consistent, which I think is more helpful longterm. What was the most embarrassing loss of your career? I had so many flashbacks, but I'm so glad it's a question for Andrea. I like that you specified. You know, it's funny. Cause. I mean, because you said you're so competitive and like. Yeah, no, no. I could tell just even from the way you said it, that like you hate losing. Yeah, I mean, that was the reason I hated chess in high school, cause it'd always be like, but okay, there's many traumatizing losses where it's like your top three, you're running for first. And then you throw a game you shouldn't, and this shouldn't hurt my ego as much as it does, but it's always kids. Or when I was a high school girl, it's the younger boys who are really cocky. And when they win, they start rubbing it in your face and they're yawning and looking around when like 90% of the game you were destroying them and you had this one tiny mistake and now their ego's huge. But I'll never forget I was playing like for a chess scholarship. And it was tiebreaker for first, and I think I lost to a 12 year old girl who couldn't even use the scholarship, but she beat me in one first place and she got some other prize. So yeah, I was losing to that little girl who's literally like 2300 now, so makes sense. Right, you keep telling yourself that. What do you think, do you think Gasparro was feeling that when he was playing 13 year old Magnus? Like why? As much as it's a beauty of the sport that any age can be brilliant, any demographic, anything, I feel like when you're adults and you're paired against the kid, it's just hard not to let it get to you. And it depends, maybe if they're a really sweet kid, but most of the times I play kids, they're just really arrogant. And I don't think they do it intentionally because they're kids. I mean, there is a certain etiquette thing where like you said, yawning, and in general, like it's not. If they're kids, there's no etiquette. Yeah, yeah. They don't care. Yeah, the kids traumatized me too. I was playing in Vegas and it was not even my opponent. It was the board next to me. And the kid was at least 10 years old, 12 max, and he was playing against an adult and he takes out his hand and he starts doing a fake phone to which the kid sitting across diagonally picks up their banana and starts talking like it's a phone and they're just mouthing words while their two adult opponents are thinking intensely at the game. And then I see the adult look up, look at the kid, just making banana phone and the despair in his eyes as he sighs. Yeah. And they're not even doing it for trash talk. No, no, no. They're just bored. They're just bored kids. Yes, exactly. What was the, cause you play a bunch of people for your channel. What was the most like memorable? What's the most fun, most intense? There's a bunch of fun ones. You've played kids before, some trash talking kids. That sounds great. They trash talk kids. Yeah. Nothing like losing a 12 year old who then starts doing a Fortnite dance. Yeah. So that actually happened? That did happen. He is a very young master. I think he became master when he was like nine years old or something. And he's very good at chess and doing a lot of training, but he's also incredibly good at trash talking. And he beat me one game and he stood up and he started doing the Fortnite dance. So you gotta just swallow your pride in those moments. What is that culture of like street chess players? It seems pretty interesting. Like, I don't know, that seems to be celebrating the beauty of the game. It's the trash talking, but also having fun with it, but also taking it seriously. And you've done a few of those. Did you go to New York? Yeah, in Union Square Park in Washington Square. What was that like? It's such a unique place. I haven't seen it anywhere else in the US where people are just professional chess hustlers, even if they're not necessarily a top player, but they play chess every single day. And so many of them learn chess by themselves and never had a professional coach. So they are quite good at it. They're also very tight knit. They all know each other. And it's a very social thing where you're not just playing chess. It's the experience of getting to know this person who's very much a personality and they talk to you. They could either give you tips or they could be really chatty and talk to you during. So it's a chess experience rather than just playing a game. Do you tell them like what your rating is or do you just let people, like both ways, do you discover how good the person actually is? Initially, I loved going and not telling people my rating and just surprising them and winning games. But now we've gone so many times that they just know us. So we can't get away with it anymore. One time, actually, I don't know if I should share this, but one time we dressed up as grandmothers and we had prosthetics on our face. And I think they still recognized us. Yeah, it's probably the, there's other components, like probably the trash talk and all that kind of stuff. Actually, no, it was funny. We were talking like grandmothers, but it was the way I held, it was the way I held them. Grandmother talk like, back of my day. No, no, no, no, no, no, we're not bringing this back. We're not bringing this back. Okay, what were your names, what were the code names? Oh my God. I think it was Edna, Edna, and I had a really, I can't remember the other one. But it was embarrassing because we were walking so slowly and Andrea dropped her cane or something at one point and then people in the park came to help her. We felt so embarrassed. But yeah, it was funny. Cause they didn't know it was us until he saw the way I reached for my pawn. And he said, the way you held your pawn, I knew it was you. It was like such a niche thing. That was what blew the grandma cover. Yeah, do you have a style of how you play physically? Is that recognizable? I didn't think we did until grandma went to play chess, but. Yeah, I've never thought about that. Yeah, I think our style is just trash talking now. Style is very, if you're talking about style on YouTube and Twitch, we definitely have a distinctive style. What's that? What's your distinctive, just talking shit? Yes. But not going too far. No, no, definitely that's, definitely going to. If it's us two against each other. Oh, we trash talk each other so hard. So brutally. And I love looking at Andrea and watching her little nose scrunch up as she's annoyed and the satisfaction I get when that happens. How many times do you play against each other on online publicly? I think I've seen a couple of games. We played a lot of times. We try not to do it too often cause it's repetitive, but every now and then when we haven't done it for a while, we'll go at it again. What do you mean repetitive? Is that implied trash talk right there? No, it just, we play similar openings. So you just start seeing the same position too often. It's the same opening against each other every time. Andrea's really good at opening. So I just start playing bad openings to get her out of her preparation. Cause I don't like opening theory very much. I just like playing the game and getting into middle games and end games. But yeah, typically the only time we're playing each other is when we're setting up in the park and we don't have opponents yet and we need content. So we just play each other until people show up. But we always put stakes on the line, which makes it very interesting. Cause otherwise it wouldn't be fun to play each other if there's no stakes. Where's the most fun place you've played? Is it New York? I think so. And it was actually when we set up in Times Square one night, we just brought a table with us and chess. And it's not even where people usually play chess, but it was so lively. There were all of the lights out and so many people just kept stopping by to play chess. And it was really one of my favorite streams. It's just the opposite of like the classical chess world. It's super loud. There's music, there's cars, there's street dancers, even some naked people walking around who we had to be careful not to get banned. But I honestly really liked the chaotic environments for chess games. Cause I think it's a good way to break more into the mainstream culture and make it entertaining and appealing to anyone who doesn't know anything about chess. So that's the way. And also in an authentic way, because it's what we really like about chess when you're just enjoying the game, but also the atmosphere and the people who you're playing with. And that's one of the things that I think you see less when you're just thinking of chess as a competitive thing. You've mentioned a few other games, like the Bobby Fischer games, the Candidates match, the game of the century, which I feel like is a weird game to call the game of the century when there's still like a few decades left in the century. But yeah. I mean, it wasn't an official thing. It was just the chess journalist. It's just like made on a chess article. But it's stuck if you look on. Yeah, no, it did stick. Again, Wikipedia. This is all I do research wise. Because there's, so that particular one was a 13 year old Fischer and he did a queen sacrifice. I wonder, there's that movie searching for Bobby Fischer. Was that related? Cause didn't they have a young somebody who's supposed to be kind of like Bobby Fischer played by Josh Waitzkin. Yeah, I think he ended up being an international master. It wasn't based on Bobby Fischer. It was based on another player, but I liked how they told it through the lens of being inspired by Bobby Fischer. Do you remember that game? Like why do you think it was dubbed the game of the century? It was just journalists being like. I think part of it was the atmosphere where you have the US junior champion who's this 13 year old nobody. And it's the first time he's playing in a very competitive landscape against some of the top American players. And he goes up against an international master. So somebody who's a lot stronger than he is who's played in Olympiads for the American team. He's having a bad tournament, but then he has this one game where he just shows off his tactical prowess and plays incredibly well. And I don't know if this is true, but in the paper clippings of it, they'd say things like grandmasters were by the board and they would say things like, oh, Bobby is lost in this position. What is he doing? But there's this 13 year old kid who's just playing incredibly well. And then that also happened before Bobby's started really rapidly improving at chess. Not that people knew that, but he kind of seemed like a rising star. So I think the game was beautiful, but I also think the idea of a 13 year old kid coming out from nowhere and beating a top American player was very fascinating. And there was aggressive chess and it was interesting ideas. Yeah, taking big risks. It's cool to see a 13 year old do that. What about the, you mentioned that his match against Mark Taimano from their 71 candidates match was interesting in some way. Why is it interesting to you? Move 45, I'm looking at some notes. This is with the Bishop E3. I think I know which one you're talking about. It's, I wouldn't say, a lot of these games on these lists I think are really great combinations that when tactics come into play, which is what we're talking about. But they're very good at exemplifying lessons. This is why you study famous games. So you can apply these lessons to your own games. And I think the main takeaway for this one was they're punishing their opponent from steering away from opening principles, which is something that we learned a little earlier where he delayed the development of his King and put his Queen out a little bit too exposed. So Bobby Fisher immediately punished that. And then there was just like a beautiful combination where it was like a 12 in a row perfect moves, which was a tactic, just winning the game. But it only came from punishing those mistakes. The mistake being bringing the Queen out? Bringing the Queen out and yeah, not castling your King right away. And these were just like opening principles that now they're written in books, but for books you would study these principles by studying games. And also, I'm looking at some notes, his dominance during the candidate's turn was unprecedented. He swept two top grandmasters. I mean, that guy's meteoric rise is incredible. Sad that I think at whatever in his 20s, he then quit chess. One has to wonder where he could have gone. Yeah, it is sad that we lost such a brilliant mind so early on. And it's also sad, I think kind of what ended up happening in his life and the slowly going crazier. Is there some aspect of chess that opens the door to crazy? Like how challenging it is on you, the stress, the anxiety of it, the isolation. And being alone. Yeah. It's a very lonely sport. It is, even do you guys, since you both play it, it's still lonely, the experience of it? It was when I was competing a lot. I think the crazy part of it for me was how obsessed you can get about a board game where you're optimizing your entire life to beat another person at pushing wooden pieces across the board. And it doesn't necessarily translate to other things. And the fact that so many people spend so much of their life on it, but you can also spend so much of your life because it's so deep and so interesting. And I mean, I've definitely experienced moments where I didn't want to do anything but chess. And I had that before I went to college where I just wanted to take a gap year and focus on chess because I went to high school, we moved a lot, there was always other things going on. So I felt like I could never really focus on chess. And the one time I could, by taking a gap year, I ended up not doing because my parents really wanted me to go to university right away. But I think maybe if I had taken that gap year, I don't know if I would have gone back to school. So maybe it wasn't a bad thing. I'd also say that's pretty universal. I think if you want to be the best at anything you do or any sport, you have to be that level of obsessed. So I don't know if that's only chess. Well, some things, some obsessions are more transferable to a balanced social life. That is true. Like healthy development. Yeah, chess is a lot less social than most other sports. Yeah, there's something deeply isolating about this game. I mean, the great chess players I've met, I mean, it's really competitive too. And there's something that you're almost nonstop paranoid about blundering at every level. And that develops a person who is really anxious about losing versus someone who deeply enjoys perfection or winning and so on. It's just this constant paranoia about losing. Maybe I'm misinterpreting it, but that creates huge amount of stress over like thousands of games, especially in a young person. And that blundering is such a painful experience because you could be playing a game that you've played for five, six hours and you have one lapse in focus and you blunder and you throw the entire game away. And sometimes not just the entire game, but the entire tournament. Now you can't place or do anything anymore. So you just feel those mistakes so strongly. Yeah, there's no one to blame but yourself. Are you guys hard on yourself? Have you been about losing? Like before you became super famous for streaming where you could be like, well, fuck this, at least I can have fun playing. So I was really hard on myself and I went to play a tournament in Canada to try to qualify for the Olympiad team. And I was like, well, I'm an adult now. I'm not gonna feel emotional if I lose. And then I got there on the first day. I think I was ranked like fourth in Canada for females. How long ago was this? This was like earlier in the year actually. And I go and I lose to somebody lower rated on the first day. And I think it was because I blundered and I went back to my room and I was like, I am not an adult. I'm not eating, I'm not leaving this room. I feel terrible and I know I shouldn't, but it just cuts so deep. And then I actually ended up qualifying for the Olympiad team, but I didn't wanna play because I didn't have enough time to train and the losses are so painful that I was like, it's not worth it. Yeah, in high school and growing up, I just remember weekends. And I think being competitive in any sport, again, probably people relate to this, which is like spending weekends crying. And even like Alex said, like punishing yourself because you're disappointed in yourself because you fight so hard and you prepare and you study and you're like, oh, yeah. But that's once again on the bright side though, when you're studying so hard and after like a four hour game and you actually are on the opposite end and you win, you feel like such a huge rush of dopamine and serotonin and you're like on a high from the wind. So there's also plus sides or you can turn this around. But yeah, like Alex said, like losing after preparing for something and fighting on hours and hours is the worst feeling in the world. Did you ever get anything like that with martial arts? Yeah, so, you know, wrestling, I wrestled all through high school and middle school. Definitely, so it's an individual sport. I did a lot of individual sport, tennis, those kinds of things. But I think even with wrestling and tennis, you're still on a team. You can still like, there's still a comradery there. I feel like with chess, especially you go on your own with the tournaments, like you really are alone. But I mean, I always personally just had like a very self critical mind in general. I would not. It's one of the reasons I decided not to play chess because I think when I was really young, I met somebody who was able to play blindfold chess. They were teaching me, they were laying in there on the couch, trashed, drinking and smoking. And there were. Sounds like a Russian. Yeah, exactly. There are now a faculty somewhere in the United States. I forget where. But he making jokes, talking to others and he would move the pieces, like he would yell across the room. And I remember thinking that if a person is able to do that, then that kind of world you can live in inside your mind that becomes the chessboard. To me, that meant like the chessboard is not just out here. It could be in here and you could do these beautiful, you can create these beautiful patterns in your mind. I thought like, I had such a strong pull towards that where I had to decide either I'm gonna dedicate everything to this or not. You can't do half assed. And then that's when I decided to walk away from it because I had so much other beautiful things in my life. I loved mathematics. I loved, just everything was beautiful to me. I thought chess would pull me all in. And there was nothing like it, I think, in my whole life since then. I think it's such a dangerous addiction. It's such a beautiful addiction, but it's a dangerous one, depending on what your mind is like. It reminds me of something I thought of before I stopped competing as much. And I'd look at people and think, imagine being so intelligent that you could become a grandmaster and yet only spending the rest of your life being a grandmaster. Because it's one of those things where it does require a lot of mental power, but by doing chess, you're not gonna be able to explore other subjects deeply. Yeah. And not in a way that is bad necessarily, more an admiration and wondering what else could have been because I've just seen people get to these levels of obsession where it's all they wanna do. And they're grandmasters, but they're not even top players. So they're never gonna make a living out of it. They'll make like maybe 30, 40K a year max. They can't even focus on their competitive chess because they have to supplement it by teaching and doing things they don't like. And it's just because of how strong of an obsession it can be because it truly is very intellectually rewarding. And I think that's what people are addicted to in the self improvement, but you can get that from a lot of other things as well. Well, I think for me, what I was inspired by that stuck with me is that a human being could be so good at one thing. Right. To me, that person on the couch drinking and so on, I assumed he was the best chess player in the world. Like to be able to play inside your head, it just felt like a feat that's incredible. And so I fell in love with the idea that I hope to be something like that in my life at something. It would be pretty cool to be really good at one thing. And like life in some sense is a search for the things that you could be that good at. I didn't even think about like how much money does it make or any of that. It's can I fall in love with something and make it a life pursuit where I can be damn good at it. And being damn good at it is the source of enjoyment. Not like not to win because you want to win a tournament or win because like you just want to be better at somebody else. No, it's for the beauty of the game itself or the beauty of the activity itself. And then you realize that that's one of the compelling things about chess. It is a game with rules and you can win. If you want to be really damn good in some aspect of life like that, it's a harder and weirder pursuit. Don't you feel like you kind of did that with computer science or AI related things? Like getting that level of damn good. That's one of the cool things about AI and robotics or intellectual pursuits or scientific pursuits is you can spend until you're 80 doing it. So I'm in the early days of that. One of the reasons I came to Texas, one of the reasons I didn't want to pursue an academic career at MIT is I want to build a company. And so I'm in the early days of that AI company. And so it's an open world to see if I'm actually going to be good at it. But the thing that's there that I've been cognizant of my whole life is that I have a passion for it. Something within me draws me to that thing. And you have to listen to that, to that voice. So with chess, you're fucked unless you like early on are really training really hard. I think life is more forgiving. You can be world class at a thing after making a lot of mistakes. And after spending the first few decades of your life doing something completely different. And chess, it's like an Olympic sport. Like there's no, perfection is a requirement, is a necessity. What do you think is that pursuit for you? Like why did you decide to stream? What drew you? I like these questions. Now we're really getting deep. Yeah, this is like a therapy session. I mean, isn't it terrifying to be in front of a camera? Well, it's terrifying to be in front of five cameras. The set up is. Corrections, six. Six, okay. It's more terrifying for me to try to remember if I actually turned them all. Like I mentioned to you off mic, I'm still suffering from a bit of PTSD after screwing up a recording of Magnus. He had to console me because that was the thing. I felt, okay, you wanna build robots. If you can't get a camera to even run correctly, how are you gonna do anything else in life? Oh no, don't let it spiral like that. It was spiraling hard and I was just laying there and just feeling sorry for myself. But I think that feeling, by the way, and the small tangent, is really useful. I feel like a lot of growing happens when you feel shitty. As long as you can get out of it. Like don't let it spiral indefinitely. But just feeling really, really shitty about everything in my life. Like I was having an existential crisis. Like how will I be able to do anything at all? Like you're a giant failure, all those kinds of negative voices. But I think I made some good decisions in the week after that. Of like, okay. Do you think you couldn't have made those decisions if you were less hard on yourself? Me personally, no. I'm too lazy. Okay, so you really need to be angry at yourself enough to go and do what you need. Yeah, it's not even angry, it's just upset of being self critical. Like also for me personally, because I don't have proclivities for depression, I have a lot more room to feel extremely shitty about myself. So if you're somebody that can get stuck in that place, like clinically depressed, you have to be really, really careful. You have to notice the triggers, you don't wanna get into that place. But for me, just looking empirically, feeling shitty has always been productive. Like it makes me long term happier. Ultimately, it makes me more grateful to be alive and it helps me grow, all those kinds of things. So I kinda embrace it. Otherwise, I feel like I will never do anything. I have to feel shitty, but that's not a thing I prescribe to others. There's a famous professor at MIT, his name is Marvin Minsky. And when he was giving advice about like to the students, he said, the secret to my success was that I always hated everything I did in the past. So always sort of being self critical about everything you've accomplished, never really take a moment of gratitude. And I think for a lot of people that hear that, that's not good. You should like take a pause and be grateful, but it really worked for him. So it's a choice you have to make. It reminds me of the quote, be happy but never satisfied, where you can have a positive spin and still want to improve yourself. But yeah, like when did you decide to take a step in the spotlight, that terrifying spotlight of the internet? It was actually my senior year of college and I was really busy with work and school and chess was kind of like this lost love. And the interesting thing is that the longer I don't play chess, the more I kind of miss playing it casually and enjoy it more. Cause then I start looking at it with fresh eyes, but I didn't have time to play tournaments. So I started streaming online because it was more social than just playing strangers on the internet without knowing anything about who they are. And I started slowly growing a community and got in touch with chess.com pretty quickly too. So then it was this hobby that I would do once a week, every Thursday at 8 p.m. And it was one of the things that brought me a lot of joy. And actually I, speaking of depression, did struggle for it with at least 10 years of my life. And it was one of those things where chess and streaming was such a distraction and it brought me such great joy that I just kept doing it cause I really, really liked it. And then I was working on something that didn't pan out and decided to go and take a risk and just stream full time, which, you know, seemed a little bit weird at the moment. Was that terrifying, that leap? It was terrifying, but I had taken so many terrifying leaps in the past and they didn't, you know, the last two hadn't worked out, but I was like, well, I'll get it eventually. So somehow having failed before and going through failure and knowing that it'll be okay, made me more likely to just try something that was a very, very weird job. Goodbye camera. I saw it die. Yeah, the camera, we don't need it. But one of the cameras died. Luckily we have another five. Yeah, I know. Like this is where this triggers the spiral, Alexis is gonna go to A to death now. It's still somehow awake. Is there advice you can give about the dark places you've gone in your mind, the depression you suffered from, how to get out from your own story? Whenever I go to those really dark places, the scariest thing is that it feels like I will never get rid of this feeling and it is very overwhelming. And I just have to kind of look back over time spans and remember that every single time I have got through it and remind myself that it is just temporary. And that has been the most helpful thing for me because I just try to combat the scariest thing about it. And then believe, have faith that it's gonna, like this will go away. And take action obviously to make sure it goes away. And I've also tried to spin it as depression is one of the hardest things I've had to deal with, but also one of the biggest motivators because if I just am left with my own brain, I get very depressed. Then I really like working or focusing on things. So it actually pushed me to try to focus on school, try to focus on chess, focus on whatever I'm doing. And also if I'm feeling really bad, then there's probably something a little bit off and I use it as a signal and try to think of it as, okay, this is just a sign that there's things that could be improved for long term. What about you, Andrea? Have you gone to dark places in your mind? I'd say my family, like I see Alex going through this, my mom also has very serious depression. Luckily, I got the genes where I don't go through that serious level of depression that they do. I'd say mine is much more temporarily. So it's more similar to what I was feeling when I was feeling shitty about it. Exactly, you go through periods, yes, exactly, where like, but I know that it's not something that's clinical and that's just a genetic thing or a mental thing, whereas I know it's more serious for like my family members. And I did relate a lot with you where you're saying where that really pushes you and I felt that a lot through content where you just kind of feel hopeless and kind of like an existential crisis where I don't like the content I'm doing and that's what pushes me to like, okay, you have no choice but to try something that now you're gonna be passionate about because otherwise you're gonna be stuck in this never ending cycle. So it's short term and then it helps me come up with the things that I enjoy the most content wise and it also long term taught me just how to have a more balanced life, like doing small things that make me happier on a daily basis, to like working out, to eating healthier, which I notice when I don't do for weeks, I just get a lot more depressed. What has playing chess taught you about life? Has it made you better at life in any kind of way or has it made you worse? You know, a lot of people kind of romanticize the idea that chess is kind of like life or life is kind of like chess and becoming better at making decisions on the chess board is gonna make you better at making decisions in life. Is there some truth to that? I always shy away from these comparisons with chess and life. Cause yeah, it has both positives and negatives. So one thing it really helps develop from an early age is having an analytical mind, but then you could also get like paralysis of analysis where you've just thought of everything to death and you're moving too slowly when you just have to keep going forward cause there's not a great path ahead. So it's more like exercising your brain and staying sharp and then also applying that to other things. Whereas if instead of playing chess, you were watching TV or something like that, you'd probably end up being less sharp. Yeah, I used to, in high school, I'd always preach like, ah, chess transfers to life skills that I would teach. I taught chess for juvenile department for a special education school. I'd cite studies in prisons where like, oh, playing chess helped them with X and for your kids, it helps with teamwork and thinking over life choices. And now that I'm older, I don't believe in any of that BS. But I do think that the process of working really hard at something which takes really long to see results and you have to be really dedicated. And like, I remember in high school and in middle school, well, all my friends, they were having fun on the weekends and I'd have to be there studying as a chess a day and knowing one day I'll pay off, but for like two, three years, nothing paid off. Kind of learning that type of patience with anything, it's like, you know, like getting a real job. I can't say I ever really worked a real job in my life since I went straight into streaming and I got to work for myself, but I'd say it's what people go to college for. Like they learn how to live in the real world and I'd say that that's what chess taught me as a kid. When you're streaming, when you're doing the creative work, do you feel lonely? So a bunch of creators talk about sort of the, it's counterintuitive because you're famous now, you know. Sort of, not quite, but we're very lucky to have each other. So is that the source of the comfort and like, is there some sense where it's isolating to have these personalities, they have to always be having fun, being wild and so on? Or is it actually the opposite? Like, is it a source of comfort to know that there's so many cool people out there that are giving you their love? It started as a source of comfort because it started with a very small community who would be something, it would be around 200 to 300 viewers and you know, only like 30 to 40 of them would actually chat actively. So you felt like it was a community, not an audience. So you like knew them personally almost. Yeah, exactly. And it was people who were interested in chess and I would really enjoy that. And then as, you know, we started growing bigger, the audience kind of changed where they're not there for you personally, they're there while you're entertaining and it changed for me. And I ended up being a lot more self conscious of things online and started even thinking of myself more like a product than a human being when I'm online because I had to. Brand. Yes, exactly. Otherwise you just start taking everything personally that people comment about you and it's based off a very small clip. I see, so it was almost a kind of a defense mechanism. Exactly. And it took time to get enough, because even if you have tough skin, eventually it gets to you when you're online every single day listening to, you know, thousands of people's feedback on you. I think the loneliest part of being creator is going through burnout, which everyone is just, it's bound to happen, which is why I think we're very lucky that we have each other because right, it's a numbers game and you're viral and trendy at one point and then you have to fall. And then there's months where you're just grinding. And I just come into my friends room and I'm like, Andrea, we're irrelevant. That's where I'm glad, that's really like the worst part of being creator and figuring out how to get over that hump. But it makes me very grateful that I have my sister because I know that I'm not the only person going through it. And yeah, I know that most of my creator friends feel very lonely in that process because they don't have someone who's their family and their business partner and they're working by each other side by side. You kind of tie in your self worth to your job and your content and maybe even more extremely than other jobs because you also are the entire company and the entire product. So when things are going well or when things are not, you just need to be careful to not reflect it like, oh, I am doing bad. I am bad rather than the trends have now changed. There's outside things we're gonna keep going and this is just the normal waves, which is how we think about it now. And also just about, are we enjoying this? Is this what we wanna make? But we were stuck in the camp for a while when we 10Xed our viewership after the pandemic because people were home and playing chess. And then of course that dropped by like 70%. And then you see that and you're trying your best and you just kind of have to deal with it and be like, okay, I'm just gonna keep persevering and maybe it'll get better. That's so fascinating. I mean, this is a struggle of sorts in the 21st century of like how to be an artist, how to be a creator, how to be an interesting mind in response to this algorithm. I'm telling you, turning off views and likes is really good. I don't look at Twitch views for that reason. And I get obsessed with the numbers too. And I know Andrea does, but for me, what I try now is to be more focused in the moment, but Andrea somehow can do it even with the views. So you just, you get, you have fun with it. I'm too much of like a given to the temporary satisfaction. Like I like seeing, I like knowing that if something happens right now, viewership's gonna boost by a couple of hundred and seeing that I'm right, of course. But what about when the viewers start dropping? Exactly, well, and I always, like you just have this intuition now. But I think also the reason that it doesn't affect me so much is when we first started our content journey, we were only Twitch streamers. And we, our livelihood were based on Twitch viewers. But now like I've learned how to recycle that content into like YouTube and shorts and other things where I know like, okay, if this stream does badly, there's so many more things you can do that also just have a much larger output. So it doesn't get to me as much as it did. Do you ever feel that with your podcasts or do you feel like it's been authentic since the start? No, so there's a million things to say there. So one is there's a reason I stopped taking a salary at MIT and moved to Texas is I wanted my bank account to go to zero because I do my best with my back against the wall. So one of the comforts I have is I don't care if this podcast is popular or not. I want it to not be popular. So I don't want it to make money. You're failing Lex. Yeah, I wanna, I mean, I just do best when I'm more desperate. That's like one thing to say. Seems like a reoccurring theme with how you build up your greatest work, which is honestly very respectable. Yeah, so thank you. This is like. I wouldn't recommend. Right, thank you for finding the silver lining for an unhealthy mental state. But the other thing is I was very conscious just like with chess and those kinds of things that I love numbers. And I would be, if I paid attention, if I tried to be somebody at their best, like Mr. Beast who really pays attention to numbers, I would just not, I'd become destroyed by it. The highs and the lows of it. And I just don't think I would be creating the best work possible. But one of the big benefits of a podcast, it's listeners and there's an intimacy with the voice. And I think that is much more stable and a deeper and a more meaningful connection than YouTube. YouTube is a fickle mistress. So it's a weird drug that like, it really wants you. With very addicting feedback loops. When you have a video that's number one out of 10, oh my God, the adrenaline you get. And then the thing I really don't like also is the world will introduce you as a person that has a video on YouTube with some X number of views. Like the world wants you to be addicted to these numbers. What? Because they associate it with having done a good job. Yeah. Because that's what people think views are, even if it's not. Right. And primarily because they don't have any other signal of what's a good job. I think the much better signal is people that are close to you, your family, your colleagues, that say, wow, that was cool, I listened to that, that was really, I didn't know this, this was really powerful, this is really moving and so on. But definitely I'm terrified of numbers. Because I feel like, just like I said, I'd rather be a Stanley Kubrick, right? You'd rather create great art, not to be pretentious, but the best possible thing you can create. Whatever the beauty that's, the capacity for creating beauty that's in you, I would like to maximize that. And I feel like for some people like Mr. Beast, I think those are perfectly aligned. Because he just loves the most epic thing possible, but not for everybody. I think there's a lot of people for whom that's not perfectly aligned. And so I'm definitely one of those. And I'm still really confused why anybody listens to this anyway. But that's also something I guess you're trying to find, trying to figure out. I get very afraid of ever becoming someone who just makes junk food content, where you can't stop while you're in the moment, and it has all of your attention, but when you're done, it didn't really bring any value to your life, which is something that I think the algorithm still does really reward. And making sure that as we are learning how to create better content, it's still something that is gonna be meaningful long term. Well, ultimately, you inspire a lot of young people. Yeah, those are the best. When I get messages from people who are like, I played you a year ago, and my rating was 1400, and now I'm 1900. I'd like to challenge you again. It's a 14 year old writing a former email. Those things are always very, very fun to get. And even just outside of chess, it's just empowering to see, like for young women too, to see that kind of thing. I mean, you guys are being yourself, and making money for being yourself, and having fun, and growing as human beings, which I think is really inspiring for people to see. So in that sense, it's really rewarding. And then the way I think about it is there is some benefit of doing entertaining type of stuff so that you get the, kind of like Mr. Beast does with philanthropy, right? The bigger Mr. Beast becomes, the more effective he is at actually doing positive impact on the world. So those things are tied together. But of course, with podcasts, you guys, well, maybe you have these kinds of tense things, but what kind of ideas, what kind of people do platform? What kind of person, what kind of human being do you wanna be? Because you are actually becoming a person, and a set of ideas in front of the public eye, and you have to ask yourself that question really hard, like really seriously. Because if you're doing stuff in private, you have the complete luxury to try shit out. Right. I think you have less of a luxury to try shit out because the internet can be vicious in punishing you for trying shit out. And do you think that's sometimes a bad thing where you have less freedom to make mistakes? Yeah, you have two choices. So one, you put up a wall and say I don't give a shit what people think. I don't like doing that because I like being fragile to the world, keeping my, sort of wearing my heart on my sleeve. Or the other one, yeah, you have to be, you have to actually think through what you're gonna say. You have to think of like, what do I believe? You have to be more serious about what you put out there. It's annoying, but it's also actually, you should have always been doing that. You should be deliberate with your actions and your words. But I don't know, it's, but some of it, it's such a balance because some of my favorite people are brilliant people that allow themselves to act ridiculous and be silly. Elon Musk, who's become a good friend, is the silliest human of all. I mean, he's incredibly brilliant and productive and so on, but allows themselves to be silly. And that's also inspiring to people. Like you don't have to be perfect. You don't have to, you can be a weird, a giant weird mess. Then it's okay. So it's a balance. I think when you start to delve into political topics, into topics that really get tense for people, then you have to be a little bit more careful and deliberate. But it's also wise to stay the hell away from those topics in general. Like I mentioned to you offline, somebody I've been debating whether I want to talk to or not is Karjakin on the chess board because chess is just a game, but throughout the history of the 20th century, it was played between the Russians and the Americans and so on where they were at war, cold or hot war. And those are interesting. Those are interesting conversations to be had at the Olympics and so on. It's not just a game. It's some sense. It's like a mini war. And so I have to decide whether I want to talk to him or not and those kinds of things. You have to make those kinds of decisions. For now, you guys are not playing chess with Donald Trump or Obama or so on. We are not right now, no. How long is a stream? Like a few hours, right? Now they're two to three hours. When I was first streaming, I'd stream for like six hours a day. A day. At least usually. Yeah, for like six to seven days a week. Are you doing just like a talking one? No, I'd be playing chess the entire time while talking. And when I started streaming, that's kind of how everybody blows up on Twitch. You're just putting in crazy hours and you're always there. It's not about making the best content. It's about letting people feel like they're hanging out with you and just being on as much as you can. But I ended up feeling very burnt out because it's hard to be your best self when you're in front of a camera for that long because you do get scared of going into places where you want to learn, but you might not be the best in. Because it's harder to learn in public than do something that like, yeah, we're better than 99% of our viewers at chess. So that's a lot less scary than trying to play a game that you're bad at or discuss topics that you're interested in. Yeah, have the beginner's mind and be dumb at something. Right. Yeah, which is where the fun is and you get to learn together, but people punish you for it on the internet. What about you, Andrea? Yeah, I think like Alex said at the beginning, when we were grinding a lot, you don't really even have time for much of a private life because you're streaming every hour of your life and people want it, like the appeal of streamers, it's called like being parasocial where you feel like they're your friend and they like it because they want you to share everything about your life. Really the main challenge for me at first when trying to prioritize quantity over quality, which we're not doing anymore, was realizing that I can't turn everything I'm interested in and every passion into content. Before I'm like, well, I must stream more, but I like music and I like playing piano and I like reading into these topics and I like fitness and then I try to live stream all of it and that's just, at some point it's like, just enjoy your time off for those hobbies and prioritize what you're good at because that's just gonna be better for the channel overall. So that was a learning lesson for sure. It's nice because there are some intersections when I have tried new things that I really enjoy and it pays off, but that's less often. So it's more like you can be yourself, but only specific parts of yourself online and the rest, sometimes it's nice to just keep private and feel that you could just give it your 100% freedom. See, I feel like I try to be the exact same person on podcasts as in private life. I really don't like hiding anything. But you're also a generalist, right? Where you have people with all topics. For us, we built our audience off a very specific thing so people sometimes feel like, even at the start when we started playing less chess, they're like, I subbed for chess. Why are you not playing chess? Exactly. People are tuning in for an interesting conversation on a bunch of topics. So like the more you are yourself, the better it is, but it is very hard when you build your brand on like one type of gaming content. Build your brand. But yeah, the way you become a generalist is you slowly expand. It's like expand to checkers. I guess that's like a downward. Maybe poker. Poker, yeah, exactly, poker. But also just the ideas, the space of ideas. And one of the cool things about chess is when you're talking over the chess board, you're, it's a kind of podcast, you know? That is actually an idea we've had with playing chess while also doing a podcast and talking with people. It's kind of like an icebreaker. We're also focusing on the game at the same time. But you know, we are slowly evolving and we're doing more things. Like one thing we wanted to do is spend less time in front of the computer. So now we're doing a chess travel show where we go to different countries and look at the chess culture. So it actually feels like we're doing things that we would want to do and explore anyway. And maybe it's not as much in the idea space, which we both enjoy and do a lot in our own free time, but in the sharing cool experiences with our audience that we actually want to do. Where do you look forward to going? We're going to Romania on September 9th. And I think this is the most exciting for me because we're going back to, you know, the country where our entire family's from, where our grandmother taught our dad who taught us how to play chess. It has a very strong chess culture. So it'll be very unique to go back and see how everything is when we haven't been back that will be the best thing I do. And I try not to do things in my life that will prevent me from getting there. I feel like if you're always focusing on doing kind of, optimizing the thumbnail in the 10 seconds and so on, you'll never do the thing that's truly you're known for and remembered for. So finding that balance is tricky. I get that, but at the same time, this might be my own copium, which I know is a word you know now. Yeah, I'm slowly learning the full complexity of the term, yes. But the other way I think about it is, it is a skill to learn how to communicate with large audiences. And first I started streaming chess, which is something I just did and really loved, but now I have to learn how to translate that format. And if that's a skillset we could build, then we could use it to do really important things. And I've seen a lot of YouTubers who have done interviews about how, they didn't love the kind of content they did at first, but what they're doing right now is really meaningful. So I like to think of it, maybe like skill development, cause not everybody hits off podcasts where they can talk to super interesting people right off the bat. Yeah, you can be slow and boring in a podcast. You don't have to worry about the first 10 seconds. I mean, people like keep pushing me for, cause the first 10 seconds of the videos I do is, well, I know it's most important for YouTube, but I don't give a damn. I wrote a Chrome extension that hides all the views and likes. I don't look at the click through. I don't look at Twitch views, Andrea does. So we also can relate. I love numbers too, but that's why I don't look at it. Cause you become like, oh, you'll start to think that a conversation or I think you did sucks because it doesn't get views, but that's just not the case. YouTube algorithm is this monster that figures stuff out. And if you let it control your mind, I feel like it's going to destroy you creatively. So you have to find a nice balance. I have to say, I was laughing a little bit when I was listening to the Magnus episode and the first 10 minutes, you guys are talking about soccer, football. Two robots seem human in the conversation. Yeah, exactly. I was like, let's have some fun, make conversation about non chess related topics. Yeah, talk about sports. Yeah, it was kind of hilarious. I was surprised that even at his level, I wasn't sure, but I was surprised how much he loves chess. It sounds cliche to say, but like the way he looked at a chess board, you know those memes like, I wish somebody looked at me the way he still like the way he glanced down and he reached for the pieces with excitement to show me something. There was, there wasn't like, okay, I'll show you. It was like, like there was still that fire. That's something that always shocks me about some of like super grandmasters. Like one of my coaches was a person who also, his name's GM Hammer of Norway. He also coached Magnus. He was his second and he was helping me train for my tournament. And I was kind of putting off doing the homework. He's like, if you're putting it off, that means you're studying the wrong thing. Like you should be enjoying even when you're practicing, which when I grew up, I thought to get to the top level, like practicing has to be hard and unpleasant. And when I was listening to Magnus episode, he was like, I didn't read books very much. Or there was one thing that you said that's like very normal for studying classical chess that he didn't do just because it didn't interest him. He says, I suck at puzzles. I don't like puzzles. Yeah, and he doesn't do what he doesn't enjoy. And that's because it's like purely driven out of passion. I think the internet was like, I suck at puzzles too. Yeah, they like that. They're grandmasters. I don't have to study at all. It's just, it's fun. And, but I think the lesson there that's really powerful is he spends most of the day thinking about chess because he wants to. So do whatever, if you're into getting better at chess, do whatever it takes to actually just the number of hours you spend a day thinking about chess, maximize that. If you're like super serious about it. I actually get very addicted whenever I start studying chess, which is why I don't do it as seriously when I'm focused on content. Cause I go through these rabbit holes where if I'm focusing on chess, I wanna be as good as I possibly can at the game. Otherwise it's hard for me to enjoy it cause it's such a competitive thing. And I remember training for tournaments and when you're training for tournaments, you even start dreaming about chess and you can stop thinking about it. And it's as if you're flipped into this completely different world, which is also what I like best about the game that it's a completely different living experience. And then you take some drugs and now you start to see things on the ceiling. Is there some factual hallucination like to the Queen's Gambit, like those scenes? I think it's... Is that based on your life story? Well, I can't say that on camera. No, just kidding. Actually chess players are very careful to not take drugs. They drink a lot. They drink so much. It's actually crazy for how good they're able to play chess when they do. But when it comes to things like psychedelics or other things, they usually stay away from those cause they don't wanna mess anything up in their brain. So this is actually intervention. I saw that you mentioned somewhere, I think it was the lie detector test where you have a drinking problem. Is that an actual... I think that's actually a meme that we like to joke about on stream because occasionally we'd have like a white claw on stream or something like that. And then people meme about it. It goes back to Andrea's point of amplifying a part of your personality to make yourself a little bit more entertaining. I'm gonna use that as an excuse from now on. This podcast is just amplifying a part of that personality. I'm not really like this, but have you played drunk? Like Magnus has played drunk. He says it helps someone with the creativity. Is there any truth to that? Well, Andrea is under 21, so she's obviously would never do that. But I have played while drinking. Actually, I enjoy playing chess and drinking more than pre gaming or going out to a club and drinking, which sounds really silly. And I'll usually play against opponents who are also having some beer. And it does make you feel like you're seeing the game from a fresher perspective where it can sometimes make you feel more confident, liquid confidence, and it does help with creativity. You just feel like you could pull things off, but there's also a limit. It's more like you've had one drink or two drink, but then it goes beyond that. And then you just start missing tactics and it's not worth it. Yeah, I think it only helps players in very short time controls. One time I was challenging this grandmaster on stream and we were playing bullet chess, which is one minute chess. And I was giving him handicaps. And I said, okay, you have to take four shots before the next game. And he just got like 10 times stronger and transformed into like the Hulk and destroyed me more than the last game. But of course, if you're playing like a three hour game, it's gonna get old. But I think in short time controls, it's amazing. Yeah, definitely has to be blitz. It has to be where it's more intuition rather than sitting and calculating. This is probably like negatively affecting your ability to calculate. Absolutely, yeah. How much when you guys play, when you look at the chess board, how much of it is calculation? How much of it is intuition? How much of it is memorized openings? It really depends between short form chess. So five minutes, three minutes, one minute and classical chess. What's your favorite to play? I love playing blitz now because that's most of what I do. And that's actually how I got into chess streaming because I couldn't spend entire weekends or weeks playing tournaments. I would just, while I was in college, log on and play these long blitz or bullet sessions. And it's very fast. So you don't have time to go calculate as deeply. You basically have to calculate short lines pretty quickly. And a lot of it is pattern recognition and intuition. As three minutes, you said? Three minutes, yeah. Okay, cool. And so for that, it's just basically intuition. A lot of it is intuition, yeah. See, I saw on streams you actually keep talking while playing chess. It seems really difficult. Yeah, that helps my result. That doesn't help my result. It doesn't, it hurts. It helps content, not the game. Yeah, exactly. But you can still do it. Because it feels like how can you possibly concentrate while talking? It's because so much of it is intuition. You're not, while you're talking, you're thinking about that topic, but then you just come to the board and you just understand what you should be doing here. And then sometimes you get in trouble because you're talking and you have now lost half of your time. You have a minute and a half, your opponent has three, and you're kind of at a disadvantage. But that kind of goes to show that that's how blitz chess usually works, whereas classical is very different. Which of you is better at chess? I mean, let's do it this way. Can you, Andrea, can you say what, in which way is Alex stronger than you? Which way is she weaker than you? Not physically in terms of chess. Well, yes, of course she is higher rated. But when we do play, I think her strengths against me where she really gets me is the end game. She has stronger end game, so she can, and I actually have a stronger opening, but as soon as she's able to simplify. Andrea, I'm supposed to say what is good about you, not you. You know, I'm getting there. Well, see, this is what I'm saying, because don't worry, it's related, okay? Because if I can get an advantage in the beginning of the game, but as soon as she starts trading pieces down, like my confidence drops, because I know that the end game is the hardest part of the game and the longest, and that's where she ends up beating me. So her end game is I think really what makes the difference. It sounds like her psychological warfare is better too, because if you're getting nervous. But it's harder to play against higher rated players, same how Magnus and former world champions have that psychological edge. So I think it's always going to be different for Andrea, because she knows statistically she should be winning something like one in four games, but she usually does better than that, because she's very distracting and talks a lot. That does help. What does it feel like to play a higher rated player? for a very long time. And for Romanians, like it's very rare when there's like a famous Romanian who accomplishes something, which is why like right now, Andrew Tate's the most famous Romanian. But he's banned for a bad reason. Exactly. And there's like something very special about Romanian pride. And when we meet fellow Romanians in the US, like it's just an amazing connection. And like, I hear the way my dad talk about like, for example, Nadia, who was a famous Romanian gymnast and he's like, yeah, like Romania, we sucked at everything. But when she won the Olympics for gymnast, every kid on the street was doing gymnastics because it's very rare that they make it to that level of success. And I'm not saying that we're super successful, super famous, but it is really cool to meet other Romanians through chess because it's a very special bond. Yeah, you feel like it's a community and like you belong. Yeah, you can't get that anywhere else. Let me ask your opinion since you mentioned him, Andrew Tate, you're both women, successful women, you're both creators. So Andrew Tate is an example of somebody that has become exceptionally successful at galvanizing public attention, but he's also, from many perspective, a misogynist. So let me ask a personal question. Do you think I should talk to him on this podcast? How would you feel as a fan as somebody, I'm talking to the great Alex and Andrea Botez and the next episode is with Andrew Tate? I think it's a double edged sword and most of these things are not as black and white as they seem, you know, because on one hand, I don't agree with his beliefs and I think he said a lot of things that are very hurtful and that influence people's opinions. At the same time, talking to someone through that and trying to get to the root of it and how much of it he used just as a social media tactic to maybe change the opinion of people who have been so influenced by him towards something that is maybe more understanding towards women or things like that could do some good, but at the same time, platforming someone like that and giving them more attention also signals to other people who have a platform that it's okay, so it's kind of weighing the pluses and the minuses and it's a very tough decision because it's not clear. And the thing about the internet, you make the wrong decision, you're gonna pay for it. Right. That's the thing, like personally, and it is funny, like I think the whole way you rose to fame is just a growth hack and I've seen other people do it where like you just say kind of, I don't, honestly, I don't really listen to his content because I just find it so dumb, but I think he knows that by saying the dumbest, most controversial things, that's like a quick rise to fame and I think surface level, like he can really hold it up, but that's why I would honestly enjoy tuning into a conversation where you're really breaking down to the core of those beliefs and I think like young kids who look up to him and when you actually hear someone challenging it could actually be helpful for people, but at the same time, it's a lot of bad publicity, people see your podcast, they see, wow, like if they don't know you and they don't know why you're interviewing him and they don't listen, they'll see that and then 100% think it's for the other reason. But I'm also afraid of a society where you can't have discourse with people you disagree with and even though I don't like Andrew Tate, I think the fact that he got banned from all the platforms is kind of scary because it sets a precedent and you always have to ask yourself, would this be ethical if I was on the other side and even things with a president like Trump, even if let's say you're somebody who was on the left, if that would have happened to a leftist president, how would you feel? Would you think that's morally ethical? So that is something that I think is important. We try to find ways to have conversations and reach some mutual understanding and try instead of just amplifying the worst about every human being. Well, so one of the major reasons I'm struggling with is because I really enjoy talking to brilliant women. I think it's also, a lot of women reached out to me saying like, it is what it is, but they're inspired when the female guest is on. And to me, if I talk to somebody like Andrew Tate, even if I have a really hard hitting, I think it could be a very good conversation that lessens the likelihood that a brilliant, powerful female will go on the show. Because they'll never watch it, but the thing we do in this society is we put labels on each other. Well, Lex is the person that platforms misogynists. I did a thing where Joe Rogan got in trouble over an N word controversy earlier in the year. And Joe's a good friend of mine and I said that I stand with Joe, that he's not a racist or something like that. And within certain communities, I'm now somebody who's an apologist for racists, right? Or a racist myself, that kind of thing. And we put labels without ever listening to the content, without ever sort of, actually just even the very simple step or it seems to be difficult of like, taking on the best possible interpretation of what a person said and giving them the benefit of the doubt and having empathy for another person. So you have to play in this field where people will assign labels to each other and it's difficult. But ultimately, I believe, I hope that good conversations is a way to like a greater understanding for people to grow together as a society and improve and learn the lessons, the mistakes of the past. But you also have to play this game where people just like putting labels on each other and canceling each other over those. Or that guy said one thing nice about Donald Trump, he must be a far right Nazi. Or the opposite, that this person said something nice about the vaccine, he must be a far left whatever, because apologist for whatever, for Fauci. Or most of us I think are ultimately in the middle. It's a weird, it's a weird thing. But I think, and it's also painful on a personal level. Like people have written to me about things like single words, half sentences that I've said about either Putin or Zelensky where they have hate towards me because of what I said. Either both directions. I've now accumulated very passionate people that some call me a Putin apologist, some call me a Zelensky apologist. And it hurts to, given how much I have family there, how much I've seen of suffering there, and to carry that burden over time and not let it destroy you is tough. So like, do you wanna take on another thing like that when you have conversations? Or can I just talk to awesome people like you two? Where it's not that burden. We're not controversial. Or you're interesting, you're fascinating, you're inspiring, you're like fun. Not all those difficult things that come with more difficult conversations. Right. But somebody has to be making those difficult decisions and challenging the notions that we should cancel someone just for slightly disagreeing with us. And it's very hard to take that on personally. And I think that's a huge part of it. When you know it's something you're doing for the right reasons and you're getting a lot of people coming and misinterpreting it, it's very painful. But I think you have to ask yourself long term if when you made that decision, you ultimately thought it would be better or worse for your listeners to know that conversation. And then if you can sleep with it at night, take the risk. Yeah, actually when I talk to people that, especially astrophysicists, and you realize how tiny we are. Right. How incredible, like how huge the universe is. Like you don't, it doesn't matter, you can do anything. You could like, you can walk around naked, talk shit to people, do whatever the hell. And actually in modern social media, people just like forget. It's like, it's ultimately liberating. Just try to do, at least from my perspective, the best possible thing for the world you can. Take big risks, and it doesn't matter. And that's the other thing with being canceled nowadays because everyone's attention is much more shortsighted. You can get canceled and then it'll blow over in three days. And you actually see things like this on Twitch very often where people just have bursts of outrage and they come into your chat and they're all spamming and saying mean things, and then three days after. And of course they're not actually ever serious things. They're usually like things clipped of any streamers in like their worst moments, but then people forget about it pretty soon after. So you're able to accept that? Like when somebody is being shitty to you for a day? Yeah, I mean, I still get sometimes emotional about it, especially when I'm like, oh wow, these things that are being said are not true or like this was clearly taken out of context, but I've just accepted that it's part of the job. And if I am trying my best and I am trying things with as good intentions as possible, then I just try to learn every time that happens and be like, okay, what could I do better? And what is just part of the job? Well, let's start some controversy. Who's the greatest chess player of all time? Is it Magnus Carlsen, is it Gary Kasparov, is it somebody else, Bobby Fischer? Do you have a favorite, Alex? So whenever I hear this question, I interpret it in a very specific way where it's not who was the most talented chess player or who had the most impact on the chess world, but who is the greatest at playing chess? Where if you were putting all of these players at their peak, who would be the best? And we're kind of living in a world where obviously humans are becoming more like cyborgs and their tools make them a lot more powerful. And the computer is the most powerful tool for chess that we've ever witnessed. And the top players now, someone like Magnus Carlsen or Gary Kasparov, if they were gonna go towards people like even Lasker or Bobby Fischer back in the day, Lasker, he was world champion for 27 years, he was the best in his field by far, but would he be able to stand up to someone like Magnus Carlsen who has had these tools? I don't think so. So most chess players have said Gary Kasparov and I think even Magnus has said that in the past, but I like to think of it as Magnus in his peak and Gary at his peak, and because Magnus was able to live more in a computer era, I feel like so far he's the greatest of all time. And some studies say things like how there's rating inflation, but I looked into some of them and they basically calculated people's play over the years and it seems that there hasn't been inflation, people are just getting better and I think it's because you have better tools at chess. And also one of the cases, what's your? I was gonna say, I actually, I disagree with that. Good, make it interesting. I think I would judge the greatest player of all time in relative to the time that they lived in and Magnus, although he is technically the strongest chess player in history, that is because he had computers to study chess with. And of course, if you compare him to like Gary Kasparov, he plays most like Stockfish, but Gary Kasparov at his time, he beat more players of his skill level than Magnus did. Magnus loses more often. He also of course held the belt for 20 years more. So I'd say actually, because Gary lacked the help of computers to study chess and overall performed better against players of his skill level, I think he would be number one. Nice. Yeah, but I mean, the case that people make for Magnus on many, I mean, what Alex said, but also Magnus plays a lot and he doesn't, he plays a lot blitz, bullet and like he puts, he gets drunk and like he's really putting himself out there and in all kinds of conditions and he's able to dominate and a lot of them, we get to see many of the like losses or blunders and all that kind of stuff because he just puts himself out there. And I think Kasparov was much more like. Never saw him play drunk, right? Yeah, and it's very focused on the world championship. It's very, very limited number of games and very focused on winning. And so there's some aspect to the versatility, the aggressive play, the fun, all of that, that I think you have to give credit to. Oh, 100%. In terms of just the scope, the scale of the variety of genius exhibited by Magnus. And he might not even be done yet. I don't know if he'll ever hit 2,900, but we can't judge yet because he's not at the peak of his career potentially. What do you think about him not playing world championship? Isn't that like, isn't that wild? The entirety of the history of chess in the 20th century going like meh. It's walking away from this one tournament that seems to be at the center of chess. What do you think about that decision? I mean, you can't help but be disappointed as a chess fan who wants to see the best player in the world defend his title. But I also understand it on a personal level and not feeling as satisfied when you're going to the world championship and having to defend against people who are less strong than you. And also imagine winning world championships and not feeling a joy out of that. So maybe by not doing that and focusing instead on a goal like 2,900, he'll be more likely to accomplish it because he's focusing on what actually motivates him to play chess. But I do think that it will hurt how we judge the next world champion. I think it won't change him being the best player in the world. And for someone to replace him, even let's say like Nepo versus Sting, even if one of them win and right on some stance, it does lower the merit because now who has the world chess championship title isn't actually the best player in the world. And that has happened before in the past, but still going to take the same effort to prove when they would pass him like 10, 20 years to become stronger than Magnus. So I don't think it changes the skill level that it takes to become the best chess player in the world. I think for chess fans, it's very disappointing, but I think in the overall like grand scheme of like the public view to people who don't really, so like, you know, what breaks the popular culture and you think of what names people know who don't play chess like Bobby Fischer did it. Most people know Casper over Magnus. It takes the same ability and talent and that doesn't change. I think it does change though if you're playing a player who's not as strong, but I see your point as well. And I know we differ on this. Like I said, I heard you ask Magnus, but what is your take on it? Well, listen, his answer is kind of brilliant, which he's not saying he's bored of the world championship. He's bored of a process that doesn't determine the best player. Like, and it's too exciting inducing to him to have a small number of games. He doesn't mind losing, which is really fascinating to a better player or somebody who is his level. He's more anxious about losing to a weaker player because of the small sample size. Now, if like poker players had that anxiety, they would never play at all, right? That's the World Series of Poker. You get to lose against weaker players all the time. That's the throw of the dice. But that's an interesting perspective that he would love to play 20, 30, 40 games in the world championship, and then he would enjoy it much more. And also play shorter games because they emphasize the like pure chess, actually being able to like much more variety in the middle game just to see a bunch of chaos and see how you're able to compute, calculate and intuition, all that kind of stuff. I mean, that's beautiful. I wish the chess world would step up and meet him in a place that makes sense, change the world championship. So FIDE changing it somehow, a loss for that. Or having other really respected tournaments that become like an annual thing that step up to that. Or more kind of online YouTube type of competitions, which I think they're trying to do more and more, like the Crypto Cup and all those kinds of things. And the Grand Tour does play in, which takes a lot of the top players and they do it online in shorter formats. But there's, so that's his perspective. My perhaps narrow perspective is I romanticize the Olympic games and those are every four years and the world championships because they're rare, because the sample size is so small. That's where the magic happens. Everything's on the line for people that spend their whole life, 20 years of dedication, everything you have, every minute of the day spent for that moment. You think about like gymnastics at the Olympic games. There's certain sports where a single mistake and you're fucked. And that stress, that pressure, it can break people or it can create magic. Like a person that's the underdog has the best night of their life or the person that's been dominating for years all of a sudden slips up. That drama from a human perspective is beautiful. So I still like the world championships, but then again, looking at all the draws, looking at like, well, the magic isn't quite there. So to me, when I see faster games of chess, that's much more beautiful. But then I don't understand the game of chess deeply enough to know. Like, does it have to be so many draws? Like, is there a way to create a more dynamic chess? And he talked about random chess with a random starting position. That's really interesting. But then of course, that's like, then you do have to play hundreds of games and that kind of stuff. But I think it's great that the world number one is struggling with these questions because he's in the position, he has the leverage to actually change the game of chess as it's publicly seen, as it's publicly played. So it's interesting. He's still young enough to dominate for quite a long time if he wants. So I don't know. I, you know, with Kasparov, the fight between nations, I hope they have the world championship and I hope he's still a part of it somehow. I hope he changes his mind. And comes back. Comes back. Kind of dramatic thing. I don't know. But it is, his heart is not in it. And then, and then that's not beautiful to see, right? Yeah, it is beautiful that the thing he wants is a great game of chess against an opponent that's his level or better. And that's great that he's coming from that place. But I hope he comes back tomorrow. Because the world championship is a special thing in any sport. So you do wish that the person who wins the world championship is the best player in the world? No. I hope that the best people in the world, the two best people in the world are the ones that sit down. But the person that wins is the person that, that's the magic of it. Nobody knows who's going to win. I think Magnus is so, he really wants the best person to win. Like the, that's why he wants the large sample size. But to me there's some magic to it. The stress of it, the drama of it. That's all part of the game. Like it's not just about the purity of the game, like the calculation. The pure chess of it. It's also like the drama. Like the, yeah, the pressure, the drama, all of it. The shit talking, if it gets to you, the mind games. This is the part that's fun to watch, but less fun to be playing. But that's why it's great. Who can melt, who can rise under that pressure and who melts under that pressure. There's a lot of people that look up to you, like they're inspired by you because you've taken a kind of nonlinear path through life. Is there any advice you have for people like in high school today? They're trying to figure out what they want to do. Do they want to go to Stanford? Do they want to pursue a career in, I don't know, in industry or go kind of the path you guys have taken, which is have the ability to do all of that and still choose to make the thing that you're passionate about your life. I always liked the calculated risks approach where when you're younger, it's okay to take more risks because you have a lot more time, but there has to be a reason why you're doing that particular risk. Is it something that you've spent a lot of time already really passionate and working on or is it just something that's trendy and you want to do it because you don't have a better option? And that's actually similar to what Andrea did when she decided to go into streaming instead of school. Yeah, the reason I got into streaming because I was initially going to go to college, but the pandemics, it was right at the beginning of the pandemic and all my classes were online. And I never thought, ever since I was 12, like my dream was school and I saw myself nowhere else than going to university. And I thought of it and kind of weighed out the risks. I'm like, well, if I take a gap year and I try streaming with my sister, what do I have to lose? I gained some experience working with someone who has a lot more experience than I do. And then I can go back to school after. And if I go to school right now, I do online classes for a year and that's something that I could do at any time. So that's why it made a lot of sense for me to go into this. But of course, this is also a very unique opportunity. So I don't know how applicable, but I do think overall the calculated risk is a really good lesson. So life is like chess. Exactly. Maybe sometime. Exactly. You also, have you considered a career in professional fighting? I saw you did a self defense class, you did a little Jiu Jitsu. Did you see the 10 year old kid who... Throwing her? Yes, and apparently I could have broken a leg. But it's actually funny, like chess boxing is a thing and I have been doing a lot of boxing. Physical activity is like, honestly, one of my favorite things to do. And I have been testing it out on content and we have a creator friend who's hosting a chess boxing tournament, but there's no woman who could match me, unfortunately, because all the opponents are male and I can't fight a guy. How does chess boxing work? So you do a round of chess and a round of boxing. And we actually did a training camp for it before. And of course, after you go into the ring. Is this real? Is this serious? Yes, it's amazing. We went to a London chess boxing club. And after you get... No, it seemed like videos, I thought it was something you'd just do in Russia or something. No, it's a real sport. It's a real sport. Yeah, no, it's very cool. But after you get really tired, you're more likely to make a mistake and they call them Jaffers or something. Yeah, there's probably good strategies, like what do you want to... Because some of it is a cardio thing. Do you want to work on your chess or your boxing? They do both, it's very fun. But yeah, from a content perspective, I'm sure there's a lot of people that would love to see. I don't want to see Andrea getting hit. That would be... I would love to fight. Unless she doesn't get hit. Our roommate fought in a fight and she did end up winning, but seeing her get hit, I thought I was going to throw up off screen. I just think it was so cool. She had no experience in boxing whatsoever. And then coming from someone in the content world, where you start waking up six days a week at 6 a.m. and she's training every day, like a real professional athlete, I think like it's such a unique experience and also like a really test of how much you can really commit to this and progress. And I think that's really rewarding. Did you ever end up doing the marathon with David Goggins that you were training for? No, I got injured, but we're going to do it soon. That's on my bucket list, just to see what your limits are. You're ready to do it? What did you do leading up to this? Nothing. You're just going to go into it. It's mental anyway. Oh, you don't... I run a lot to make sure like there's no... You have to have a base level of fitness to make sure your body doesn't completely freak out. But other than that, 50 plus miles is just about like taking it one step at a time and just being able to deal with the suffering and all the voices, the little voices that tell you all the excuses, like why are you doing this? This blister is bleeding, whatever. Whatever the thing that makes you want to stop, just shut it off. Sometimes it feels like you like pain. No, well, no, no. But the pain does seem to show the way to progress. So what... In your turn of life. In my world. Something that's really hard and I don't want to do, that's usually the right thing to do. And I'm not saying that's like a universal truth. It's just, if there's a few doors to go into, the one that I want to go into least, that's the one that usually is the right one. Afterwards, I will learn something from it. The David Goggins thing, I don't know. Listen, we're talking offline, the conversation with Liv, she has a very numeric, calculated risk. Everything is planned. I go with the heart. I just go whatever the hell. I think two years ago, I woke up, it was summer, I decided to tweet, I will do as many pushups. I don't know why I did this, but I will do as many pushups and pull ups as this week gets likes, something like that. Okay. Right? And then that it got like 30,000. Once you put it out on the internet, you're held accountable. Well, for myself, I mean, in some sense. And then that's when, I already was connected to David at that point, but that's when he called me. And then didn't have to do it. And then I did it and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. How long did you take? I did it for seven days and I got injured. So I did about a few thousand. Wait, so this is what got you to be injured? This challenge? No, it's different. I keep getting injured doing stuff. But this particular thing, I started doing the, you don't realize that you have to really ramp up. So I got like overuse injury tendonitis on the shoulder all the way down to the elbow. So I took like eight or nine days off and then started again. And then it took about 31 days to do. 30,000. The number was like 26, 27,000. Yeah. Wow. And it took like three, four hours a day. Oh God. Yeah. Sounds like torture. And not, you know, constantly asking myself, what am I doing with my life? This is why you're single, was the voice in my head. This is what are you doing? It's like face down on the carpet. Like exhausted. Like what, what? Because of a tweet? What is this? Did you record it or you just? I did. I did record it for myself. Okay. Now imagine doing this every day and that's what it's like to be a Twitch streamer. Just kidding. Right. I'm doing stupid things. That was really important to me actually to not make it into content. You know, I recorded everything. So maybe one day I could publish it. I recorded it mostly because it's really hard to count. Yeah. When you get exhausted. Yeah. Like I just, so you actually enter the Zen place where with pushups, where it's just like, it's almost like breathing. You get into a rhythm and you can do quite a lot. But I wanted to make sure like, if I actually get this done, I want there to be evidence that I got it done for myself so I can count it. I had this idea that I would use machine learning to like automatically process the video to count it. But then like, after like 10 days, I didn't even give a shit what anyone thought. It was about me versus me. I didn't even care. Lex versus Lex. Yeah. And then, yeah. And David was extremely supportive. But that's when I realized like, I really want to go head to head with him. So yeah, those kinds of people are beautiful. They really challenge you to your limits. Whatever that is. It's like, the thing is physical exercise is such an easy way to push yourself to your limit. There's in all other walks of life, it's trickier to configure. Like how do you push yourself to your limits in chess? It's hard to figure out. But like in physical. Do you think it's ever dangerous? Yeah. And that's why it's beautiful. The danger. She likes the pain. I don't like that your eyes lit up as I said. Yeah. Like if you don't know how you're gonna get out of it, you're gonna have to figure out something profound about yourself. And I mean, one of the reasons I went to Ukraine is I really wanted to experience the hardship and the intensity of war that people are experiencing so I can understand myself better, I can understand them better. So the words that are leaving my mouth are grounded in a better understanding of who they are. And I mean, the running a lot with David Gong is it's a much simpler thing to do. Simpler way to understand something about yourself, about like the limits of human nature. I think most growth happens with voluntary suffering or struggle, involuntary stuff. That's where the dark trauma is created. But I don't know, maybe it is. Maybe I'm just attracted to torture. And what is it that your mind does when you're going through this involuntary suffering? I think, there's like stages. First, all the excuses start coming. Like why are you doing this? And then you start to wonder like what kind of person do you want to be? So all the dreams you had, all the promises you made to yourself and to others, all the ambitions you had that haven't come yet realized, somehow that all becomes really intensely like visceral as the struggle is happening. And then when all of that is allowed to pass from your mind, you have this clear appreciation of what you really love in life, which is just like just living. Just the moment, the step at a time. I think what meditation does and it's most effective, it's just that pain is a catalyst for the meditative process, I think. For me, for me. I don't know. Magnus said there's no meaning to life. Do you guys agree or no? Why are we here? I do not know why we're here, but I do know that having some kind of meaning that I give my own life makes it a lot more motivating every day. So I just try to focus on finding meaning within my own life even if I know it's just self imposed. And then chess is a part of that? Chess is a part of it. Maybe it was more so when I was younger because it was easier to just feel like I wanna improve as a person and to use chess to kind of measure some kind of self improvement. And now it's more different than that. And I think I need to once again find what that northern star is. Basically, I need to have a why for why I'm doing things. And then I feel like I could do very hard things. What role does love play in the human condition? Alex and Andrea. I'll let Andrea start this one since I took the last. Sure. And yeah, just to add my answer for the last one. I also kind of think, well, life is meaningless, but I like the stoic idea where that's something that you live to revolt against. But for the second question. The revolt against the fundamental meaninglessness of life. I like it. Exactly. Yeah. It was what does love play? What role does love play? Yeah, in the human condition. The way I see it, love is a reason you want to share experiences with other people. That's how I see it. Like the people you really love, you wanna share the things you're going through with them. The good and the bad. Yeah, exactly. That's my simple take on love. My take on it is that part of what it is to be human is to be somebody who feels things emotionally and love is one of the most intense feelings you can have. Obviously there's the opposite of that and there's things like hate, but I think the love you feel for people like your parents and your friends and romantic love in that moment is much more intense than in other situations. And I think it's also just very unique to humans and that's what I appreciate about it. Maybe that's the meaning of life. Maybe that's what the Stoics are searching for. Andrea, Alex, thank you so much for this and thank you for an amazing conversation. Thank you for creating, keep creating and thank you for putting knowledge and love out there in the world. Thank you for having us, Lex. It was a pleasure. And we're both big fans of your podcast, so this was really exciting for us. Thanks for listening to this conversation with Alexandra and Andrea Botez. To support this podcast, please check out our sponsors in the description. And now let me leave you with some words from Bobby Fisher. Chess is life. Thank you for listening and hope to see you next time. What's the experience of that? Playing somebody like Magnus. So it depends on how much higher rated than you they are. If it's someone who's like between me and Andrea, let's say it's a 200 point difference, you know they should win, but at least you still feel like you have a chance. I was playing in a title Tuesday, which is this tournament chess.com has every Tuesday. And I got really lucky, beat a GM, drew an international master, and then I got paired against Hikaru Nakamura. And my brain just went blank, because I just know that I'm so unlikely to win that I couldn't even play the game properly when it's that much of a difference where they should be winning like 99% of the time. But that's like psychological. So you're saying that's the biggest experience is like actually knowing the numbers and statistically thinking there's no way I can win. But I meant like, is there a suffocating feeling like positionally you feel like you're constantly under attack? You just feel like you're slowly getting outsmarted. And the worst is when you don't even know what you're doing wrong. You come out of that and you're like, I thought I was doing great and I got slowly squeezed. I didn't understand what was going on. And you're just kind of baffled. It's kind of like watching AlphaZero beat up Stockfish. And you don't really understand why it's making certain moves or how it thought of the plan. You just see it slowly getting the position better. And that's what it feels like. I would add it's kind of different for me if they're someone who's significantly higher rated. So let's say more than like 300 points or you're playing Magnus. What I notice is I just feel lost straight as soon as I don't know my preparation because they know so many opening lines that they're gonna know the best line to beat you that you haven't studied. So then on move 10, you're like, he already has a maybe plus 0.5 advantage which is really small. But for someone with such a significant skill level you know you already lost at that point. And it's like a third of the game. What are the strengths and weaknesses of Andrea? Andrea is very good at opening preparation. As she said. As she said, she likes bringing that up. I mean, she's very meticulous about it where she'll really go in and learn her lines. And having that initial starting confidence isn't just helpful for the opening but it helps develop your plans for the middle game. So I think she's very good at that. I think she's actually pretty good at tactical combinations. What is tactics? Tactics is like solving puzzles or basically finding lines that are forced where if you find them, you're going to win. So that's like puzzles within a position. Yeah, exactly. Whereas strategic chess is making slow moves and over the process of like 20 moves you get a slightly better position based on an understanding of the overall strategy. So in my extensive research review on Wikipedia, it says your most played opening is the King's Indian defense. In which, quote, black allows white to advance their pawns to the center of the board in the first two moves. Is there any truth to this? So the King's Indian. And what is it? Probably is my most played opening. And it's one where even when my coach who was a grandmaster taught me, he was like, so you know, I've been playing the King's Indian for 10 years and I still don't understand it. And it's one of those openings that computers really don't like because you do, or at least Stockfish doesn't like it. Maybe AlphaZero would change their mind. I forgot to look at what. Can you show me, by the way, what it is? Yeah. Is it white's opening or black's opening? Black responds to the D4 Queen's pawn push. And you take your knight out to F6. I'll just put in the stereotypical, classical King's Indian more so to say. We actually have a very famous King's Indian game in the notes that we prepared. Okay. For the record, I asked you guys for some games that you find pretty cool and maybe to get a chance to talk about some. Yeah. So this is the King's Indian. As you can see, white has much more control over the center. White has three pawns in the center while black has none past the fifth rank. And you just have this pawn on D6. And one of the ideas in chess is if you're not taking the center, then your plan revolves around trying to continually challenge it. But what is really fun about the King's Indian is that black sometimes gets these crazy King side attacks while white gets Queen side attacks. And even though it's a little bit suspicious for black and the computer could usually break it, it's hard to defend as a human when you're being attacked. But if you don't pull off the attack as black, then you're just gonna end up being lost in the end game. So it's like a very asymmetrical position. It's very asymmetrical, although a lot of people now stop playing into the classical King's Indian, even though computers give it a big advantage. And they play these slower lines in the King's Indian, which are less fun to play. What's slower mean? It takes a longer time to do something interesting with? They basically don't let you get as much of a King side attack because they try opening up the center and then you have no weaknesses, but you're just slowly improving the position of your pieces instead of being able to go for that King side attack. So for people just listening, there is the white pawns are all on the fourth row in a row together. That feels like a bad position. For black? For white. Oh, you don't like taking the center? No, I like taking the center. Now you're talking trash already. Oh, sorry. But it's just like they're like feel vulnerable there in a row together. Like it's like, you know, cause they're like, who's gonna defend them? I guess the Knights defend and the Queen defends it. You're actually talking about a theme that you do see sometimes, which is called hanging pawns. And when you have two pawns right next to each other with no other pawns to defend them. Yeah, so it is a valid point. And actually as black, you're trying to break apart these pawns or get them to push and create some holes into the position, but it's a trade off. And that's a lot of what chess openings are about. You get more space, but you'll also end up having to protect your pawns potentially or move them forward to the point where they're overextended. And plus pawns being vulnerable, it's kind of fun. It's like, there's more stuff in danger. They're not, cause if it's like this, everything's like trapped, like you can't do anything. Everything's blocked, yeah. And blocked off, yeah. It's like you can't have fun. Yeah, one of the most, one of the opening principles for white is get your pawns in the center. So I'd say like this is actually preferable for white. Let's go over some opening principles. There we go. Cause this is a very good learning lesson for any chess beginners in the audience. Okay, so first thing you wanna do is control the center. There we go, E4, the more aggressive one. Isn't that like the basic vanilla move? I didn't, somebody told me that's the most popular opening move in chess. It is. Why is that considered aggressive? So it's E4 and D4 and the king's pawn is known as being for more tactical players, whereas D4 is known for more positional players. So that's why it's considered more aggressive. Tactical. More gambits with E4, I think. So tactical means I'm gonna try to attack you. You're gonna try to go for puzzles and rely more on your combination abilities. Whereas if it's something positional, you usually have like three to four moves that are all good in the position, whereas tactics, you need to see this one line. So it's more precise. So this one's cool cause he can like, the queen can come out, the bishop can come out. Yeah, and that's one of the most popular checkmates and usually what you teach new students to try to cheese their friends cause then they feel really excited that they know this new trap where you bring the bishop and the queen out and you try to checkmate on F7. Yeah. It's the trap that queen's gambit, Beth Harmon, falls for in their first game versus the janitor. She gets all mad cause she gets checkmated very early. Oh, that's the one she gets checkmated with? Yeah. Okay. I love how you guys were actually paying attention to the games carefully, which is pretty cool that they did a good job of improving, evolving her game throughout the show to actually represent an actual growth of a chess player. Yeah. They really took every detail into consideration, which was cool. Okay. So what else? That's, I brought stuff into the center. We'll do the same. Okay. So then you want to develop your pieces. So in the beginning of the game, you want to take out the bishops and knights first because you don't want to start with the most valuable piece like the queen cause then it'll become a vulnerability and it'll get attacked very early on. And the reason you're taking out these two pieces first is cause you want to castle your king. So you can move a knight move or a bishop move and that's considered developing. Yeah. So at this stage, not like even before getting a few pawns out. You usually want to start with getting a pawn because you want to get space in the center, but also when you push pawns, it helps free up some of your pieces. So usually start with one pawn first and then you could start taking out your minor pieces, which is the bishop and the knight. I have anxiety about a pawn just floating out there. Defenseless. But it's not attacked yet. See, those are what you call ghost threats. So you're scared of something that hasn't happened yet. So if I were to attack it. Feel like there's a deeper thing going on here. Yeah. Actually, let's say. Yeah, so you're attacking the pawn in the center here and it is vulnerable, but as soon as you do that, I can develop my own knight and defend it as well. Okay. And now for people just listening, there's two pawns that just came out to meet each other and a couple of knights. You love the chess commentary. It's very poetic. Yeah. The pawns met after midnight. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm going to romanticize the game a bit. Yes, exactly. Okay, cool. So like there's, if you bring out the bishops with the knights, you're matching that with the other. Black is going to match it. Exactly. Whatever you're attacking with. Yep, he's developing. It's going to defend it. Now you could develop your bishop or your knight, whatever you'd like. Oh no, now you give him options. All right. Yeah, there you go. Now I am attacking the pawn in the center, which is what you were afraid about before, but let's see how you defend it here. By doing this symmetrical thing, bringing out the knight on the other side. And actually your other move was good as well, defending with the pawn, because then you're freeing up space for your bishop. So you're basically trying to develop your pieces as quickly as possible, put your pawns in the center, and then get your king to safety. And that's usually the basic opening tips that you get. And it is kind of counterintuitive that safety is in the corner of the board for a king. That was always confusing to me, but you know. Three pawns in front, though you typically don't push those. Maybe like one, maybe I'll go one square, but these will be like the wall of defense that keep him safe. But another way to also think about it is your pieces usually wanna point towards the center. If you have a knight closer to the center than closer to the side, it actually has more squares it can go to. So a huge part of it is just wanting to have flexibility for where your pieces go. So more pieces are going to be able to make threats in the center or even open up the position. So since that's where it's most likely to open, you want your king somewhere where the position will stay closed so that you have the pawns to defend. You know, there's like rules like this, but I always wonder, cause I've built chess engines, but then you start to wonder like, why is it that positionally these things are good? Like you've built up an intuition about it, but I wish, and that's the thing that would be amazing if engines could explain, why is this kind of thing better than this kind of thing? You start to build up an intuition, but if I'm just like knowing nothing about chess, it feels confusing that cornering your king, like getting him like trapped here. Like it feels like you could get checkmated easier there if I was just using like dumb intuition, but it seems like that's not the case. I imagine maybe, cause AlphaZero learned by playing games against itself, right? And I imagine if you have a lot of games and you do build an intuition, because if you were to keep your king in the center, you just see that in those games, you're dealing with threats a lot more often. But yeah, there's shortcut rules and this doesn't even mean it's the best way to play chess as we've seen with AlphaZero kind of changing the rules of the game a little bit. But as a human, to learn it from scratch is a lot more difficult than to start with principles. So that's why beginners usually learn chess this way. Yeah, because you're playing other humans and the other humans have also operated on a different principles. And that's why people that come up now that are training with engines are just going to be much better than the people of the past because they're gonna try out weirder ideas that go against the principles of old. And they're gonna do like weird stuff, including sacrifices and stuff like that. Yeah, and I also think that's why AlphaZero was so shocking because Stockfish was using an opening database. So it was already based off of knowledge that humans have from playing chess for years that we just thought is how you're supposed to play. Whereas AlphaZero just learned from playing the game so many times and came up with very novel opening ideas. Were you impressed by AlphaZero? Have you seen some of the games? I have seen some of the games. I think impressed, bewildered, and motivated were the three things I experienced. I think Magnus said he was also impressed that it could easily be mistaken for creativity. That's his trash talk towards the AI. That was a beautiful sentence. I was listening to the podcast. I mean, as a human, I agree with him because you don't wanna give the machine the power of creativity, but if it looks creative, give it a compliment. That's fair. I know that you're being nice to the machines in case they are ever looking back through this. What else is there? What other principles are there for the opening? You can go a little bit more forward, let's say. Yeah, we can finish full development. Positions like this, let's just say you developed all of your pieces. So that's like a really nice, like nobody took any pieces and we're just in a nice positional thing. Yeah, so it's not actually a very accurate one. So I'm actually, I could put a different one on the board, but usually after you've developed all of your pieces, you wanna get your queen out a little bit to connect your rooks, and you also start thinking about certain pawn pushes and getting more space. But another good tip is just can you improve the position of your pieces? Think about timing. So if you've already moved a piece once and there's a piece that hasn't moved at all, then you wanna focus on the piece that hasn't moved at all to be able to have it more likely to jump into the game. Right, so don't move pieces multiple times. Exactly. Like try to move it to the most optimal position. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. What, so what's the Indian, I think we kind of went over it, but did you ever say why you like it so much? Because it's weird? Because it's king size? I liked it because it's a very fun, aggressive defense where you're just throwing your pieces towards white, and there's so many sacrificing opportunities. And for some reason, tactical games always feel like the most beautiful, the most satisfying, and that's what I liked about the King's Indian. But I also suffered a lot from this love because I would play things that are not necessarily correct, then my attack wouldn't pan out, and then I would just struggle the rest of the game having no play and just trying to defend. So if you're always attacking, Wikipedia also says that, that you're known for your attacking play. It's also known for losses according to Stanford. Okay, let's not bring that up. See Wikipedia doesn't talk trash, it just says nice things. Yeah, Wikipedia's a lot nicer. I actually played a lot of positional chess in classic because I really like the slow squeeze, but when I transitioned to playing a lot of online chess, it's almost as if I was looking for more instant gratification because it feels so much better to beat someone with an attack. And even if sometimes it doesn't pan out, I was okay with it because you get so many games in. So I think my style in online chess really changed from my classical chess. What about you Andrea? Do you have a style? Are you attacking? Are you a more like conservative defensive player? Are you chaotic? Opening wise, I like to play more positionally. Like I like to push T4 and just slowly improve my pieces and slowly get an attack. But like Alex said, if you're playing bullet chess or blitz against viewers, you often like wanna play riskier moves that may not be as good. And then that's kind of when I would play more aggressive. But I do enjoy tournaments for that reason because then like once you're 15 moves in, which as soon as you're out of your prep, I like sitting and thinking in more positional, yeah, positional middle games. One of the games you found to be pretty cool was the Hakara Nakamura versus Galfan in 2009. And that one I think includes the King's Indian defense. Yes. Why is that an interesting one to you? I also play the King's Indian as black and I love this model game. But as Alex was saying, like all these advantages for the King's Indian. But now there's this one line that like every higher rated player just destroys my King's Indian. And you see these beautiful games and like, ah, yes, I wanna play for these ideas. But now no one plays into it anymore and you just get demolished. So this is why I don't play the King's Indian anymore, but not to ruin the fun. It's a love hate relationship, truly. The reality. But that's like the higher level players do or does everybody? Yeah, if you're studying openings and you know this line as white, you just, you automatically get the upper edge. And that's kind of how openings develop. You start having players trying new lines and then you see ones and then everybody adopts it if they think it's the best one. But yeah, so Hikaru is really known for his aggressive style of play. Is Hikaru black here or what? Yeah, Hikaru is black here. So he's playing the King's Indian. And as you can see in this position, white already has a lot, a huge center advantage. But what Hikaru is gonna start doing even with the next move is bringing all of his pieces towards the white King side, because his plan is to start pushing his pawns towards the white King and ignore the attack that goes on in the Queen side. It's all of the dream attack with the King's Indian. So there's a complete asymmetry towards the King side and the left side of the board is a ton of pieces. Yeah, exactly. Wow, he moved the knight like three times in a row. Yep, and that's what you need to do because you have to move the knight in order to make space for your pawn. So again, this is why it's so counterintuitive and Stockfish doesn't like it. You're putting almost most of your pieces on the back rank and you're pushing your King side pawns and you're blocking your own dark squared Bishop. So none of it makes sense. You're mimicking it, that's awesome. Okay, so yeah, here you see white going for a Queen side attack, black going for the King side attack and you can keep going a little bit and I'll wait to where he starts with the pretty sacrifices. It's more fun to analyze games in person than on the computer, I think. Yeah. Okay, so here Hikaru is preparing the attack and what I really like about this game is that he finds these tactics that are not necessarily what a computer would go for but it's very hard to face as a human and that's why a lot of people play the King's Indian because in practice it's hard to defend against. So we can keep moving a little bit forward. Okay. Yep, so white is just continuing the King side plan. No, is that like the first piece I think that's taken in the game? Yep, that's the first trade. Attack begins. Exactly, Hikaru had to pause his attack for a little bit to just make sure that white didn't have two dire threats on the Queen side. So cool to see the asymmetry of this thing. Exactly, that's what's beautiful about the King's Indian. And just one thing to highlight because his rook move here is very bizarre and typically like a computer probably didn't like this but the ideas are interesting because this is a major weakness for black that they're coming to attack and he's also making room for his Bishop to come backwards and challenge. So this is like a human like maneuver that computers would like. I think computers would like this though because you'd have to move it regardless because he takes the pawn here and his rook would be under attack. Yeah, well having looked at it, when I actually studied this as a line and this right away isn't the best move cutting computer. So actually that's such a good question. So do you guys when you study games use your mind but do you also use computers to build up your intuition of like looking at a position like this and what would a computer do and then try to understand why it wants to do that? When I was studying seriously I would try to use my own mind because you're never gonna get the exact same position so you really need to notice trends and often computers will give you moves that are only specific to that position because of a certain tactic. But I do use computers to check what I did and make sure I didn't make any obvious blunder that I might have missed. What does a computer tell you? Just like what is the best move or does it give you any kind of explanation of why? It doesn't tell you why but it gives you the different valuations of the position like black is down a half pawn here or something like that but it hints you towards what the right move is and then it's on you to figure out why and you can usually figure out why if not right away then just by going through a few moves and being like, oh, okay, that makes sense. I feel like a computer will take you down with some weird lines potentially like sacrifice. Like why the hell am I sacrificing this? Well, we'll get to the pretty sacrifice soon. So we could just keep playing. The pawns are being pushed forward. Yeah, and Hikaru is kind of ignoring the queen side attack here. They basically both only reply to each other's plan when they have to. This is where you convert all the podcast viewers to YouTube. Yeah. They have no idea what we're talking about right now. There is a Zen like experience of just like listening and imagining. The board. Just imagine the pieces on the ceiling. Yeah, we should be calling them out and then people will be freaking out even more. Am I supposed to keep track of what the position is? It's too late now. It's too many. How hard is blindfold chess? Have you tried? Like are you able to keep the mind? I've played blindfold chess before. For me, it's pretty hard. It's not a muscle that I've trained as much and I'm very visual when it comes to chess. But it is one as a top player that starts becoming very second nature for you. Actually, this is what, I talked to Magnus about this. Maybe I was, again, influenced by Queen's Gambit. What do you actually visualize when it's in your head? So for Magnus, it was a boring 2D board. Right. Do you have some kind of? That's every chess player, no. You don't have like, cause you know some chess like computer games, you can do all kinds of skins and like fancy stuff. You don't have any fancy stuff? Sadly, I don't have like a cool 3D warrior mode on. It's just the basic. I just have the default chess base board in my head. Cause you don't, yeah, you can't use your brain power for adding colors to it cause you already have to keep track of the pieces. And it's one board at a time? Yes. Okay. The current position. Yeah, I bet every chess. I wonder if there's any who hit it differently. There's certain players who are really good and they can even play blindfold chess and play multiple games at the same time. So I would be curious how they do it. But usually when you're thinking of one game, that's the only one in your mind. Yeah, but you have to do this operation where you move one piece. You're doing like the branch analysis. Like, and so you still have to somehow visualize the branching process and not forget stuff. Maybe that's like constant memory recall or something. You're always looking at one board at a time, but. And you're also, oh, cause you're also looking in the future. Yeah. Cause then you have to back track. Calculating variations and coming back. I guess you're keeping the position in your memory. So you're remembering where all the pieces are and then you're playing it out on one board and then you can come back to the initial one that you started with that you kind of just keep in your brain and it's also easier to come back to it once you've played a position from it. I feel like it's that memory recall that gets you to blunder. So I'll like see that I'm being attacked by certain things, but then because I get so exhausted thinking about a different thing, I forget, I actually forget about an entire branch of things that I was supposed to be worried about. It happens very often. Yeah. If you spend a bunch of time calculating in a position, let's say like when you're really in trouble and you're spending 15, 20 minutes calculating, you'll forget about something that you spotted like, oh, if I do these two, three moves, I'll walk into a trap cause you've looked at so many lines and then you play it and then you see it and you're like, oh, I looked at it and I saw it, but I forgot about it. It's often called tunneling where you're just looking so deeply on one thing you forget about the rest of the board. And it's the worst when, at least in a beginner level, there's like a, I don't know, a Bishop just sitting there, obviously attacking your like queen or something. And then you just forget that Bishop exists. Cause if they just sit there for a few moves and don't move, you just forget their existence. And then it's just, yeah, that's definitely very embarrassing. Well, it happens to everyone, so. Yes. Okay, cool. Okay, so we see a few trades happening on the queen side where he had to go for those, otherwise he's in trouble. And this is where the game, oh, sorry. This is where it gets exciting. Yeah, so Knight H4 is really when the sacrifice starts. And here the two important pawns are the ones in front of the King, cause they're helping with the entire defense and Hikaru is actually preparing to sacrifice his Knight for a pawn just so that he can continue his attack and open up the position. Because if you don't do that here as black and don't get some kind of attack, you are completely lost on the queen side. And also you've pushed all of your own king side pawns, so you're gonna be in danger. So it's one of those do or die moments. Oh, okay, so that's what makes it all in, cause the King is wide open. Yeah, yeah, the King is wide open and all of White's pieces are pointed towards the queen side too, where you're also cramped. So is the attack primarily by black done by the two pawns and the Knight? And the light squared Bishop is always extremely important. So you don't wanna trade this in the King's Indian because it's very helpful for a lot of attacks. Even though it's on the other side of the board, I guess it can go all the way across in, like I'm not sure what it's doing here, but probably threatening. Like for example, if it was another move black could have played would be something like Bishop H3, where if you take the Bishop, you actually get mated on G2. With what? So let's say you take here and then you could push the pawn and then it would be checkmate. So you're kind of using your Bishop to sacrifice against White's King side pawns. Yeah, I'll be freaking out if their Bishop did that. What are they up to? Right, and that's the thing, this position looks very scary as White because all of Black's pawns are starting to come towards you. And it's one of those things where humans do start to worry in these positions, whereas computers obviously can just calculate the best line and maybe the attack doesn't go through. So you're saying the computer might say that the White is actually a slight favorite here? Yeah, potentially. Okay, so then White makes a little bit of room by moving the Rook. Right. And the attack begins. I like the commentary here. The Knight is hugging the King. And actually White can't even take the King here because then H4 and H3 is coming in. White can't take the Knight. Yeah, oh did I say King? Yes, thank you, the Knight. White can't take the Knight because why? So if White takes the Knight here, then Black starts pushing his pawn to H4 with H3 incoming and the idea of trying to defend against this is, it looks very difficult. So White just chooses. It'd be cool to watch a chess game, to experience watching it without understanding it just for a day. Feel like I could use that to make better content. True. Okay. I mean, that's what getting drunk does. Unfortunately for chess players, it never leaves your brain. Doesn't matter how. But this is actually a very cute move because Black's Queen is under attack, but the King is so cramped that he can't actually take it or he's gonna get checkmated by a pawn, which is a sad way to go cruelly. Yeah, those pawns are doing a lot of work here. They really are. That is the King's Indian. This is the King's Indian player's dream. The attack of the King side pawns. Yeah, these pawns are like, right, so they're the ones that are doing a lot of the threatening. Right, and they're also opening up the position to bring more of the pieces in. But the pawns kind of help break open the King side, but they can't checkmate by themselves. So after the pawns come in, that's when you need to start bringing in pieces as well, which you will see Ahi Kar do here. Okay. There you go. He puts. One more sacrifice. This was actually another beautiful sacrifice in the game. But then puts the King in check with a pawn. Right, and the pawn is going to be given here for free,

本集資源與出處