Lex Fridman Podcast #287 – Bobby Lee: Comedy, Skyrim, Sex Robots, Love, Fame, and Power
Machine transcription by Qwen3-ASR 0.6B (MLX, local, Apache-2.0). May contain recognition errors.

The following is a conversation with Bobby Lee, a stand-up comedian and podcaster, and one of the funniest humans on the planet, and just someone who brings joy to my heart with a mix of non sequitur absurdity, darkness, and the singing voice of an angel. In all seriousness, Bobby is just a beautiful human being. I've been a fan of his for twenty years since his time on MadTV to today with his podcast Tiger Belly that he does with his other half, The Love of His Life, Collada, and the podcast Bad Friends that he does with Andrew Santino. Now a quick two second mention of each sponsor. Check them out in the description. It's the best way to support this podcast. We got Brave for web browsing, GiveWell for charity, Linux for cloud computing, Onit for supplements, and Indeed for hiring. Choose wisely, my friends. And now onto the full laddered. As always, no ads in the middle. I try to make these interesting, but if you skip them, please still check out our sponsors. 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You do some of the most difficult things, some of the most challenging, some of the most rewarding, some of the most meaningful things in your life are done at work. The team is essential. It's a source of growth. It's a source of happiness. Anyway, right now get a free seventy five dollars sponsored job credit to upgrade your job post and indeed dot com slash lex. Get it at indeed dot com slash lex. Offer is good for limited time. Terms and conditions apply. Go to indeed dot com slash lex. This is the Lex Friedman podcast, and here is my conversation with Bobby Lee. I've been a fan of yours for many many years. I think you are one of the funniest people in the world. I've been a fan since MadTV days twenty years ago to today with with Tiger Belly. So given that given your status as a world class comedian. How did it feel that you were not invited to Andrew Schultz's wedding and I was? Were you were there? Yeah, I was there. I was the least funny person there, and the whole time I was thinking, "Is not funny that Bobby Lee's not here." Yeah, all my life I always felt like people didn't like me and they didn't want to invite me to things. You know what I mean? I think that's fundamentally. The reason why I do what I do, so it really did hurt a lot, and I had resentments. I did some revenge fantasies about how I am going to get revenge on him and stuff. Yeah, him specifically, him specifically. Okay, like have a big wedding, invite everyone. You know I mean, except him, stuff like that. Yeah, and then just write him a letter like, see that's how it feels or whatever. But instead of that, I am because I've been therapy and stuff. I am just kind of like trying to let it go. What did you do there? This right here. Why did you do that? I forgot to start the timer and now it starts. Yeah, let's do again. Take two. No, you still feel like an outsider. Your exception is successful. Me, domain. You still feel. Yeah, you know I am doing a Netflix show tonight with Andrew Santino at the comedy store and this and that. But like last night, you know I just felt like I wasn't a part of. In fact, on stage I go. I even mentioned I go Netflix. They don't like me. You know what I mean. And I just say things like that. They're not true, and this is something that I want to correct with myself because I have this internal dialogue that's based. On just the past and ninety nine percent of the things that go on in my mind aren't true, and I am just at a point in my life where I am just don't want to start. I want to start. I don't want to live like that anymore. Really, because I am the same way. I am deeply self critical all the time. Yeah, and that's kind of an engine that drives you to to do stuff. Yeah, but it doesn't give you the kind of freedom that I would like. Don't you want to be truly free, free from your mind, free from negative thoughts. No, I am free part of the day, but some of the day I spend being extremely self critical and that drives you because I am afraid I'll become ultra lazy otherwise. Because I love life, I love being comfortable, I love just relaxing. I need very few things in life, and so I am afraid I'll just get like super lazy. Oh, are you a minimalist? Yeah, so if I went to your house in Austin, do you have a couch? I recently got that's just the first couch I've gotten ever because the guests were complaining because I also record the podcast there. The guests were complaining there is nowhere to sit. I have no chairs, no couch. I sleep on the floor like a mattress is on the floor. Not not out of principle I think out of some kind of. Minimalist momentum. Minimalist. So we're the opposite in that way then. Oh, so you like stuff. I am not a hoarder, but because I can throw things away, but I have a shopping addiction. I think. Like when I am on the road, like I was in Oklahoma for two weeks. I just I bought a bunch of stuff. You know what I mean, and then. Oh my god! I went to Todd Snyder and I bought um I bought these shoes. You know, because you know I. But you are wearing them, so they're they're actually you are using them and they're giving value to your life. That's awesome. Yeah, but this is the last time when I wear these. This is one time. This is like a wedding, but yeah, it's a red carpet dress. Who's the designer? Do you know? I don't know anything. What are you wearing, Bobby? I don't know what I am wearing, but I because I am on a native show called Reservation Dogs right. I just want to get into the spirit of things. That's your. Yeah, this is because if I was ever like native and I was in a tribe back in the day, you know what I mean. I would have been a gatherer. Yeah, not a hunter. No, I am I am going to weave baskets with the ladies. Yeah, I want to pick berries with the ladies. You wouldn't be the chieftain. No, no, no, and I would make after the hunt. I would probably make some let some of the guys make love to me. Oh, yeah, because I am gay, just because you know, yeah, you have to, yeah, yeah, I like me. There is a power hierarchy, you got to know your place in the hierarchy. Yeah, you are alpha male then. I don't even know what that means. Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan is the definition of alpha male to me. Yeah, in fact, if there was a picture of alpha male in the dictionary, it would be Joe Rogan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you hoard stuff, okay? Yeah, yeah, but you can throw. When was the last time? Let me call you out on that. When was the last time you threw away something that's actually valuable? Valuable, like something valuable to you or valuable in general. Most things that I buy aren't valuable to me. There are things that are valuable to me that are like keepsakes from my family and stuff that I will keep forever. So I like in terms of like an old photo of my father or whatnot. So those kind of things I keep, but when it comes to like you know aviator nation sweats. Like if some of like somebody came over to my house and goes, hey, can I have six of those sweatshirts or whatever? I'd be like, yeah, go take it. Okay, and my brothers come over to my house and just done a clearance. You know I mean, like I am going to take this this this. I generally. Really don't have a problem with so the self critical voice is serving no purpose in terms of because you are pretty you know I am a fan of yours so you are known to be a little bit lazy sometimes. One hundred percent lazy. Yeah, yeah. So the self critical voice, don't you think that it's. Serving a purpose and fighting off the laziness, beating off the laziness. The self critical voice that I have, I am been able to compartment. How do you say compartment? Yeah, however you say it. You are free. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put it in a compartment. Yeah, right. And I am able to like, I am a good avoider. I am good at avoidance. So for instance, right now to avoid, I've been playing Stardew Valley. You know what that is? No, it's a phone game or. No, it's a you can play it on your switch, but it's on the Xbox and it's a farming simulation game. And so I like to farm, you know what I mean. And so in playing video games and doing stuff like that, distracts me from. You know what really is going on. Okay, you've mentioned elsewhere in terms of video games Elder Scrolls. Yeah, did you play that? Yeah, of course, it's probably my favorite game. If I could live in a world, you played Morrowind and Skyrim. I played Oblivion. Oblivion, I played a little bit of Morrowind, but I didn't like the graphics back then. But I really played the. Can I swear on this podcast? Yeah, I played the fuck out of Oblivion and Skyrim like eight characters played it all the way through. I have to do all the quests that type of thing. What's your favorite thing about those games? Um, why did you spend so much time in that world? Because I like games that you can grind. What do you mean by grind? So like Stardew Valley for instance, right? There is a lot of back to the farming, right? It's the same thing as Skyrim. The reason why I like it is that there is a lot of like. I have to collect a lot of these things. You know what I mean. I have to just constantly pick things up. You know what I mean. Yeah, like for instance in Skyrim, there is a mushroom called Blister wart mushroom that you can pick and then you can make it into some sort of formula, right? Potion, yeah, that potion, yep. So I would spend like. Literally human twelve hour days, just going to every cave and picking up as much blister wart as I could, like that kind of grinding. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. So you are actually the randomly generated quests that gives do designed for people like you. You don't get bored. That's the that's the fun. Yes, that's fun for me. Okay, yeah, there is always something to do, and I find like when when you play a game that's linear like. There are certain games where you have to go this way, right? I don't like games like that. I like open world games where I can make choices and I can grind if I want. Yeah, yeah. Would you stay in that world if you could live in that world in the in the Elder Scrolls world? That's how I feel. In reality or become like an animated thing in there. Oh no, say like virtual reality. We're moving towards that direction. If you look at Skyrim, you mentioned graphics has become. It's starting to get realistic. Yeah, like I I I'll sometimes just walk around. I mean, it's been a while, but I'll just walk around in Skyrim. Yeah, you can t here is code you can turn off enemies and you just walk around. Really, you can just listen to music and just walk around. That's what you did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I would do that. Wouldn't you do that? Would you do it with me? You sure we would have a house together? Oh, I mean, live. I thought walk around. No, no, no, no, no. If you and I were able to go into Skyrim, right and walk around and live together, would we make love? No, no, no, man, don't go there. Okay, no, no, no, no, because we like girls, man. Yeah, that's right. It's not gay. Well, you told me it's not gay. Yeah, it's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so you and I would. Yeah, I would hunt. You would gather. But in that world, there is no hunting. You know there is hunting. I would have because we don't have to find out bandits. We have to fight. I am not going to gather a bandit. I am going to hunt them. But I thought you said it's all but the potion. You don't need the bandits. Okay, well we could do this. We could you could be the guy that like defends our place. Yeah, right. I'll gather all the blister wart, all the white caps, all the mushrooms. I'll get all the food. You know I mean, I'll go to White Run, remember White Run, right or Winterhold, and I'll I'll do all the like quests that have nothing to do with. You know I mean, so no dragons though no no dragons, but we would have a banquet. We would invite the dark dark brotherhood. Yeah, right. The fighters guild, we definitely invite them. Mage's guild, we'd invite them. Are you a thief kind of guy? I am a thief guy. Yeah, yeah, I am for life. Yeah, I am a thief guy for life. And you still wouldn't invite Andrew Schultz to that? No, no, no. But what a piece of shit though, huh? Because let me just say something, okay? Oh, I just want to get back to that, okay? Sure. So I met him at the Montreal Comedy Festival, and him and I are kindred souls. We we really connected. Yeah. And he did my podcast. He's done it several times. Done his, we've we've like communicated on the phone this and that. And to me, and then he invites Whitney Cummings, which Whitney is a good friend of mine. But what I am saying is is that I know Andrew as well as Whitney knows him. I don't think that Whitney knows him more than I do. Right. What if it was a competition like it was a tie, you know and like NBA like a Bobby Lee versus Whitney. Yeah, what in what way do you think she's better? In what way do you think you are better? I think it's all about gender optics. Okay, right. So she's a comedian. She he has all these alpha males coming and he's like, "All right, I can I have one more seat left. " Yeah, Whitney or Bobby, but Bobby's although I don't think there was a lot of Koreans there, so he could have used that card. This is true, right? But I think he went for you know Whitney's a woman. It's better for optics. Okay, so she was a diversity hire for the wedding. Yeah, I see. It was it was pretty fun. It was pretty. I have to say I don't. It was Joe Rogan. Yeah, I know his wife. I get it. Yeah, and then Whitney. Although there is only comedians that were there. I spent the whole time talking to Joe. So I think no, I don't think there was that many comedians. So I am kind of joking about. It was pretty pretty small wedding. Yeah, what do you talk to Joe about? First of all, we're both grapplers, so we talk a lot about jujitsu. We talk a lot about. I am a grappler. Are you? I was on the wrestling team in high school. Yeah, I know I know this. I am a grappler. The to you that I don't know jujitsu is is there only one kind of grappling that you like? Yeah, there is levels to this game. I think I just talked. No, no, there is nothing more. Yeah, that's a surprising fact that you've dropped that. It almost feels like a lie because you've said that before that you were a wrestler in in high school. Doesn't make sense. Well, it's funny that you say that because. And I am going to cause a little controversy here, right? But Joe Rogan, yes, one time came to when he lived in LA. This is years ago. He said, "You are a liar. You've never grappled. " Yeah, and I go, yes, I did. You are a fucking liar. No, you didn't. And at that time, I didn't have any photos to prove it. But if you look at my Instagram, I have photos. I was of you as a young man dressed in a singlet or what. On the wrestling team, if you go to the fucking sorry, if you go to my, if you go to my fucking high school, yep, you are right, I was on the wrestling team for three years. I am not going to go to your high school. So is there actual photo evidence of you? Yeah, you know what you are being like Rogan right now, and I you know it really is. How do we know it's not Photoshop? Can you? Oh, will you be the judge then, dude? Okay, so this is my brother and me in high school on the wrestling team. Which oh, you are. I am the bottom. That's my brother to the left. I mean, yeah, to your right. Oh, handsome. Yeah, I am not. Yeah, how much you weigh? Wow. At the time, I weighed um I was on the one hundred and five weight category. Yeah, yeah, um, but so I was also on the tennis team. What people don't realize is that I am very athletic. Okay. Yeah, yeah, and I resent the fact that people that think that I am not because I am doughy. You are an athlete, so which is very surprising to me. Why? That so I was invited to the wedding. Yeah, yeah, I've also been on Joe Rogan's podcast. He's a big fan of yours. No, I love Joe. No Joe, when Joe's and I see to the we haggin stuff. We talk. I just talked to him today. Said I am talking to you. This is hilarious. So why oh you haggin you just never. It just hasn't worked out like I don't like I don't want to go like. Hey, um, because I don't want the rejection. So it's like if I go, right? Hey, can I do it? And he goes, I don't know man, I am busy man, you know we got I got a lot. I mean maybe later you know I don't want that. So if you know if. If he said, "Hey, are you available Thursday this day? Fly out, do my podcast. I would one hundred percent do it. " And that hasn't happened yet. So interesting. Why is it interesting? I don't know because you are like I said you are one of the funniest people in the world. That'd be a great conversation. It's just funny it hasn't happened yet. Well, it's like this conversation. It's like I just learned how to tell time. Yeah. Not like I know how to write digital. You showed up on time today. No digital. I know how to write digital obviously, but in terms of the hand clock. Yeah, I just learned that six months ago. How to operate a hand clock. To read a hand clock. Hand clock. Yeah. Not that I I obviously I'll be able to absorb the information. I just I am one of those guys that just refuse to learn things if I just. What did you think it was before? I would look at it and I would try to sometimes like if I was at a train station, yeah, and I would look at those old clocks. Yeah, I would look at and try to guess and I would kind of go, I think this is the way you know mean, but like not fully you know mean really grasp. So the way ancient people looked up at the sun to try to tell time, you looked at a clock to try to tell time. Right, like for instance, like we don't look at the sun right. So to me was an obsolete information to me because of digital. You already had digital. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and so that's somehow comparable to you going on the Joe Rogan. And you because it's like I don't know much about. Podcasting, not podcasting. I can, but in terms of like the singularity and all that stuff, like I know what it is. You know mean when machines going to be have consciousness. When is that going to happen? Soon. Are you afraid of robots? See if you were in Austin, I will show you some robots. Oh, I'd love to. Are you afraid of robots? No, I love it. You love robots. Oh yeah, yeah. In fact, I have this. I think to me, unless they become hostile and it becomes like the Terminator, which I think could happen right. There'd be a sky net. We have to bring it down. Whatever, but there is definitely going to be autonomous weapon system. So a lot of the robotics research is being conducted funded by the military. Wow. You know the military industrial complex. I know what that is. Yes. Yeah. So the the a lot of the cutting edge research is done. Is funded by, DoD Department of Defense DARPA and so on. So a lot of the robots will be used in war, but hopefully not most of consumer robotics will be in the home. I am just trying to terrify you. No, no, no. But can I ask you this though? Sure. What you are saying to me, is is that as a lay person, is that in my lifetime. That machines will have consciousness. Oh, that I don't know computers. I am one of the people. Well, depending you live dangerously, so I don't know how long you are going to live. So let's let's put. But I believe that consciousness yes could be engineered in a machine. Or at least we can have machines that are human like, and we believe they have consciousness. Can I ask you one last question about it? Yes. But just one more. Will they have the smoothness of skin and will they look realistic? See, I am one of those people that believes that visual appearance isn't the magic. So if you close if you are blind, you can still have connection with a person. People can fall in love with each other through just letters. So yeah, I know you are mocking me with your entire energy, but yes. Um, yes, I believe that part too. You are talking about sex spots is what you are probably getting it. Okay, intimacy. Why would you? Just friends, friends, but you want to friends you want to feel the smoothness. Yeah, like a guy, like you know just go what's up to and just. Yeah, just just hug and and kiss and I come both cheeks kind of thing. I get what you are saying though right obviously there is no soul you are right, you know mean and I am just curious to see. Have you right? I was going with sex spots, but yeah, have you seen Whitney Cummings' robot? Yeah, I have seen it. Okay, yeah. How do that make you feel? She's a beautiful girl. I just don't find her attractive. The robot or Whitney. I find the robot way more attractive. Yeah, if had the choice robot. So you were turned on by the robot. See, I was surprised. By the very thing you are saying, which is the realism of the skin, like it was quite. They did a really good job on that robot. Oh, they did. The life when when it's animated, the life is not quite there. You can tell it's a robot, but just sitting there. Still, it has a lot of human like elements. The texture, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, it's quite fast. They're getting there. They're getting there. Yeah, yeah. But the funny thing about sex robots is most people that get sex robots. They don't get it for the sex. They get it for like intimacy, like um not not sexual intimacy but like. Just somebody being there, it's it's the emotional connection, not the sexual. Yeah, I mean I you know I saw a long time ago a um a documentary about real dogs and people marrying them. Yeah, yeah, and what I was fascinated about is the cuddling, you know mean and then watching TV together and stuff like that, which I find. You know I've just been able to find human girlfriends and stuff. So that's really impressive. That's one of the reasons. Thanks, man. Yeah. Thanks. Hey, speaking of human girlfriends, I'd love your advice in this direction. But you you have an amazing relationship with Kalila. Yeah. So you two are very different. You host the Tiger Belly podcast together, but there is there is real love there. There is a real connection. What do you what do you love most about Kalila? Let's talk about love, Bobby Lee. Yeah, yeah, I mean that's a really pretty deep. I've never really gone down this path. We're going to walk down that path together, holding hands. It's one of those things where the first time I met her, it was almost as if I had known her all my life. It was really weird, you know mean. There was a a trust there, you know mean that was just fundamentally there that I could trust her, and that I could you know. When I look in the mirror and and I see all my character defects and stuff, though a lot of those things aren't necessarily things I want to share with people because I don't want to be judged or ridiculed. But with her, I felt comfortable showing those things, and I think she feels the same way about her. And then secondly, she's funny. You mean she made me laugh and and she's hot. It's it's all you know mean the perfect it was like a perfect combination of things you know mean she one night we were in bed and I forgot what the joke was but she really made me laugh one night. She was living in an apartment in Long Beach, and I cackled you know mean and generally. Women don't make I mean not women I am dating comics do, don't make me cackle in that way, and then thirdly she has. She's partly Asian, so it's like you know one time I dated a white girl, yeah, and I invited her to Korea town. Are you about to be racist? A little bit. Okay. Yeah, yeah, and what I love about Asian girls is they'll eat something first and ask what it is after. But white girls ask what it is before. What is this right? But Kalila would eat the eyeball, eat everything, go. What did I just eat? I like that, you know mean. So it's like and it reminds me of my mom in that way in terms of like my mom growing up just to. Scare us and freak us out. We'd have a fish and she would eat the eyeball first, to see a squirm. And as a kid that you thought was gross and weird and this and that, but it's like. You know when Kalila does it, it just kind of like I don't just makes makes me feel like at home. Yeah, you know weird way. I don't. It's a it's a little act of fearlessness. I like that. Yeah, just put in your mouth and figure it out. Yeah, that's what I like, and at the end of the day, she also out of all my girlfriends and this is going to sound. Not strange, but um hard to admit. But my career when I met Kalila was in the shit box. I could not get anything going, and um this is at the time where. Ken Jong, who's a very good friend of mine, very talented, was getting everything, and I just remember going, I can't even get an audition. Like I can't, I would go on the road, legs, and I would fill half the room. I just couldn't sell tickets, and when I met her, I was just kind of like, maybe this is the I had to find love and open up my world in that way. And she was the first girlfriend that ever had that looked at me and saw the potential, and she said, no, this is not doesn't feel right. You are so funny and you are so relevant to me, and this is what we're going to do. And so she started Tiger Belly. You know and then obviously I had the skill set to do it, um but once Tiger Belly happened and then Andrew was like, let's do bad friends and then. Now things are great. You know my career is, I am too busy almost in a weird way you know, and I feel like she had a lot to do with like for instance. Before I met her, even if I would get an audition, I wouldn't go because I just wouldn't get it in my head. I was like, I am not going to get this. I've gone on a thousand of these and they just never hire me. But she was so I just didn't go on on them for years, and then she was the first girlfriend that said no. I don't care if you don't get it right. I just don't want you to be a pussy, and I want you to walk through fear, and so she would drag me to these fucking things, and I for some reason would book them. You know mean so. You know and she saw the potential of what you could be, but she she loved you for who you are already. Yes, but also loved you for the potential that you could become. Yeah, and I am lucky in that way you know. So on day one, you could show her you said you could show your flaws to her, like you felt like you could be fragile with her. Well, I accidentally farted. Yeah, or day one on day one, you know because I just have I am a fart machine. Yeah, and I have loose cheeks. Yeah, I like how you. For the listeners, he just winked at me. Yeah, I have loose cheeks and um but not in a gay way. Not in a gay way. No, and I um I was we're on a couch and we're talking and I kind of adjusted my body, I ripped one by accident. And she laughed. You know mean it wasn't embarrassing. You know and um. Also have a little penis. I have a little penis and it's all relative. Yes, it's a little, but relative to an elephant. Everybody's penis is little. Yeah, but I am not an elephant. I am human. You know mean so relative to human it it's very small, and so when she saw it you know mean I thought she was going to balk at it. Yeah, right, and she looked at it as if it was like an orphan. Like I, you know like I want to, you know it's a lost child and I want to you know you know take care of it. Yeah, yeah, cradle it, cradle it. Yeah. Well, you man, you you haven't met anybody like that. I never met a girl. Never seen one of them. I hear they're nice. When are when are the two you getting married? We don't know yet. Yeah, is that something you would like? Yeah, um, this comes up sometimes. You know we're in couples counseling. We're dealing we're working on some issues that we have. Every relationship, even my friendships, have issues, and so we're working through some issues. And once we get to the end of it, we'll figure it out. Would you like to be a father one day? This is kind of couples counselor. You know, yeah, I do, I do because I I feel like um. You know, before I was very childlike. You know, I play a lot of video games. I am irresponsible. I am lazy. This and that, right? But you know, to be honest with you, Lex in the last six months, I really have come through some breakthroughs. And um, I am in therapy and I am doing a lot of things and really self analyzing myself and my behaviors and what I want my desires and I think ultimately yes, I really do because it's a life experience that um. You know I don't want to be an old man looking back and going, it's something that I've always was interested in and I think it's based on fear because I don't want to um. Scar my child the way my parents scarred me, but at the same time my parents didn't do the work on themselves like I am. And they were never about self improvement. They were just about they were immigrants, you know, and they wanted put food on the table and um. After that, they just went about their business, and I am not like that. I would never be violent toward my kids like my parents were. My dad